Dookus' Oscar Rules

[Dookus]

Clint - you've been botoxed within an inch of your life. Cut it out. A craggy old man is supposed to have some lines on his forehead.

All women - if you're pretty and under 30, wear some color.

Renee Zellweger - some day you HAVE to write a book and explain how a woman with odd cheeks, funny lips, a horrible speaking voice, a nearly-unpronounceable name and invisible eyes became a leading lady.

The Academy - give Jack Nicholson a lifetime invitation. He should ALWAYS be in the front row.

Warren Beatty - see advice for Clint, above.

Producers - Stop it with Beyonce. Just stop it. I mean it. Don't make me come down there.

E! Channel - Congratulations on finding the only celebrities more annoying than Joan Rivers and her foal. It was a real treat to see Star Jones' back-fat rolling over her dress. And good job on getting Kathy Griffin the night off from her Denny's job.

Drew Barrymore - Love ya to pieces, babe, but go back to blonde and lose the heroin-addict eye makeup.

Sean Penn - lighten up, both hair AND attitude.

Everyone - give Scorcese an award already!! Geez!!

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. Mmmm much agreed.

Although I did think Drew looked pertty tonight. :)

[LiberalVoice]

2. I think Renee Zellweger...

is beautiful. In fact I think she looked gorgeous in "Bridget Jones Diary".

<>

[Dookus]

4. I've heard people say that

but I don't get it. I really really don't.

[LiberalVoice]

6. Well...

I have to say she didn't look her best at the Oscars...Black hair doesn't do her justice.

God dammit Dookus...now you've got me gossiping about people at the Oscars. Damn you! :evilgrin:

[undergroundrailroad]

10. I have to agree with you on the black hair. It just doesn't work for her.

But I loved her in Jerry Maguire. She was just perfect for that role.

UGRR :hi:

[sonicx]

7. Too skinny, too pale, bad hair color, acts weird in interviews.

[Dookus]

9. yep yep yep

and yep.

[Kahuna]

16. She is pretty. But that black hair has to go. It's just horrid.

:scared:

[Skittles]

3. OMG!

I agree absolutely! May I add - Annette, that hairstyle looks OK on girls in their 20's but on you it looked like you just crawled out of bed

[Dookus]

5. LOL

I was defending Annette's hair tonight. Everybody else said it looked awful, but I thought it looked good on her. That's the way she's looked for a long time - sort of her signature look. I think she's beautiful.

[Skittles]

8. guaranteed

in 30 years her grandkids will say GRANDMA, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH YOUR HAIR?

[donheld]

11. "Dookus' Oscar Rules" are right on

I hope they have Chris Rock back more. He's :9 :thumbsup: :loveya: :hug: :yourock:

[regnaD kciN]

12. Since they're obviously never going to give Scorcese a real award...

...do you think they're going to resort to the "Lifetime Achievement" award in the next year or two?

[Dookus]

13. sigh

probably not yet. He's still very productive, so I think they'll hope he lives long enough to win one outright.

I suspect his next nomination will be a win.

[Leilani]

14. Your rules were more entertaining than the show....

Do you believe Kevin Costner & Dances with Wolves beat Scorsese & Goodfellas?

[Dookus]

15. No

nor can I believe Robert Redford and "Ordinary People" beat Scorscese for Raging Bull.

But christ, Costner? And Dances with Wolves? UGH!

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. Although, we just watched "Open Range" yesterday, and I thought it

was EXCELLENT!!! :hi:

[terrya]

18. Excellent rules, Dook.

One more: don't allow the president of the MPAA to talk. Frank Pierson was as dull as Jack Valenti. I found myself just trying to stay awak...zzzzzzzzzzzzz

T