Top10 Things GOPisEVIL Must Know Before Spending The Weekend At MY House!!

[matcom]

10) I sleep in the nude. If you get scared of the dark in the middle of the night, you might NOT want to come and crawl into bed with me for comfort.

9) Mrs Matcom sleeps in the nude as well. If you even THINK about coming to crawl into bed with her cause you are scared of the dark, let me know ahead of time and i'll move down to the couch. :D

8) There is no Atkins living at this address. Never has been in the history of this house (as far as I know). If you don't like to eat home-made pasta, gooey, breaded foods and lots of sugars, the local Comfort Inn serves semi-fresh fruit for breakfast and the price is included in the room price.

7) If YOU like to sleep in the nude, be warned. Pumpkin (the fatter of the two cats) won't hesitate to lick and suckel on your nipples. I suggest you keep the covers up close.

6) Don't EVER even THINK of asking for anything in the fridge or in the liquor cabinate. I'll show you where the glasses are and where the booze is kept. You'll get a lesson on the ice maker. If you want it, it is there. For your enjoyment. Don't be shy.

5) Don't worry about reading material as there is AMPLE in both bathrooms. For your enjoyment. :7

4) The matches in the bathroom are there for a reason. Use them when necessary.

3) I know EVERY penny I spend on porn EVERY month. Don't think for a minute that you can sneak in 20 or 30 minutes of #900 calls cause "Matcom won't even notice". I'll notice.

2) No matter WHAT he tells you, Will Pitt does NOT have a key to this house. If he shows up uninvited when I am not here, do NOT let him in! Be prepared for some sob story as I have heard them all. He is to be treated like any other vagrant off the street until Mrs Matcom or I return so he can be properly supervised (Mrs Matcom tends to find some of her best underwear missing after each visit but we haven't caught him in the "act" as of yet)

1) HAVE A GREAT TIME MY BRO! WE CANNOT WAIT TO PLAY HOST AND HOSTESS TO YOU AND WE ARE PLANNING ON HAVING A F*CKING BLAST!!! :bounce:

[MissMillie]

1. Gee... can I stay at your house too?

I'm too tired to drive home.

[matcom]

2. only if you get scared of the dark

:bounce:

[Misunderestimator]

3. Wow... after that description, I totally want to stay there.

[CatWoman]

5. me too!!!!

hey guys!!!!

PARTY AT MATCOM'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GOPisEvil]

4. I just wish I had more time to spend!

Stupid job! x(

Bwahahahaha! Sounds like I'm going to have a good time.

Now, would a Molto Mario man like me be doing Atkins? Come on!!

[matcom]

9. one more thing!

be prepared for a TIGER WOODS 2004 XBOX DEATH MATCH!!!! :bounce:

[GOPisEvil]

11. Oh, crap! I haven't played in forever!

I better practice!

[matcom]

12. get on it BOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY

:P

[GOPisEvil]

13. I haven't had my XBOX hooked up since I moved.

That was JUNE!

I'm doomed! Maybe we can just play 2-player Halo 2 or somethin'.

[Amaya]

19. Be careful!

he likes to hop in the shower with his guests... remember lock the bathroom door!

Have fun :evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

20. Is that the voice of experience?

:D

[Amaya]

27. Not me

Let me just put it this way, I've heard stories.
Remember, lock the door and have some soap on a rope handy :)


Have a goodtime! :evilgrin:

[MissMillie]

6. I am.... but I'm also afraid of Pumpkin

:silly:

[MissMillie]

7. see that.... I'm always end up in the wrong place

I'd probably end up w/ Mrs. Matcom.....

[Debi]

8. Question...

Do I have to shave?

[underpants]

10. I got stuck on #9

:bounce: :9:evilgrin::spank:

[underpants]

21. Very sticky

[underpants]

25. Oh so sticky

:bounce:

[matcom]

29. brb

i'm washing the sheets :D

[yvr girl]

14. ahem....we'll be on our honeymoon

naked in your guestroom...doing unspeakable things. (Well we can't speak about them on DU anyway.)

[GOPisEvil]

15. I hope Pumpkin leaves us alone!

:scared:

[yvr girl]

16. Unless Pumpkin can open doors, we'll be fine

He might listen at the door though, which I find ...kind of invasive.

[GOPisEvil]

22. He might get the pug to help him with the door!

I can't stand a nosy animal.

[yvr girl]

46. If the cat can't get the door, the dog won't be able to

[GOPisEvil]

47. Yeah, but they can work together.

They're crafty.

[yvr girl]

48. these are matcom's pets

I think you may be over-estimating them.

[GOPisEvil]

49. True.

But I still worry that we might end up being broadcast on the internets.

[yvr girl]

50. That does seem likely

We'll either have to hide under the sheets or get the room scanned.

[GOPisEvil]

51. Hmmm....

...we still have to convince matcom not to be a heterophobe.

[yvr girl]

52. If I just show up with you,

do you think he would turn us away.

I'm sure we could get married somewhere else in Boston. How could he object to a little honeymooning. I bet he's in favour of mooning.

[GOPisEvil]

53. Very true.

You seem to have thought this through completely. I look forward to my upcoming heartbreak.

[yvr girl]

54. There you go being all glass is half empty on me

Some people's future ex-husbands.

[arwalden]

17. I'm Fascinated With #10... So Which Side Do You Sleep On?

Oh look! Number nine looks promising too. Maybe I should just wait on the couch? :evilgrin:

[matcom]

18. SNARF!!

wait on the couch Allen. i'll be 'down' soon :evilgrin:

[arwalden]

28. I'll Be The One With The Leather Jockstrap On...

... you can't miss me.

[GOPisEvil]

23. Make ya a deal Allen.

You wait on the couch, and we'll compare notes in the morning. :evilgrin:

[yvr girl]

24. Honey, a gentleman never kisses and tells...

I guess we'll have to do lots of other things, so you have a good story.

...How big is this house?...they might not need to be told the story.

[arwalden]

26. You're Just As Evil As The Pope Says I Am...

... no wonder we get along so well.

[matcom]

30. you are EVIL Allen! EEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL

:7

[arwalden]

45. That Sounds Like Margaret White...

"I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ralph promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me. I should've given you to God when you were born, but I was weak and backsliding, and now the devil has come home. We'll pray."

[Bouncy Ball]

56. hang ON I know that movie

What the hell was the name of it??? Creepy old movie....the guy would con widows and he married one because he thought her son knew where some loot was buried and the kids ran away and he killed their mother....right?

They Only Come Out at Night, or something?

On edit, wait I think you are quoting Carrie's mom. Nevermind. I feel stupid. LOL

[fudge stripe cookays]

58. "They're all gonna laugh at you!"

:D
FSC

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

31. Rule #11. Comb the soap when you are done showering

[GOPisEvil]

32. You mean I can't leave a momento?

:D

[DS1]

33. I can vouch for #6

:hangover: :D

[GOPisEvil]

34. Can I get a 2nd liver implanted before I go?

I might need it.

[matcom]

35. leave it at home

MUCH easier that way :bounce:

[GOPisEvil]

36. I need to start working out!

:beer:

Gotta build up my tolerance! :D

[matcom]

37. just keep that Pitt character away ok?

the Mrs is starting to run out of underwear x(

[GOPisEvil]

38. Tell her to buy some cheap undies to throw at him to distract him.

That'll get him off your front porch for a while.

What if he brings liquor?! I'm so easily bribed! :D

[matcom]

39. don't worry

he NEVER does x(

[GOPisEvil]

40. Figures!

Writers!

[matcom]

41. no shit

FULL of prose but lacking in substance x(

[GOPisEvil]

43. He's full of something...

:eyes:

[matcom]

42. kick

:kick:

[Skittles]

44. WILL YOU TALK ABOUT ME ?

YOU BETTER OR I WILL GET MY WHIP

[matcom]

55. we will plaster your NEKKID pic on my TV!

so every time we go to play Tiger Woods 2004 on the XBOX, we'll be "driving" YOU home :P

[yvr girl]

59. David was right - you will broadcast on the internets

I want a cut - a huge cut. We'll let you keep a percentage since you're hosting the wedding and all. (You are aren't you? We don't want to have to move to Pitt's house, cause I hear he has an attack cat, and he's a bachelor, so it might...smell.)

[GalleryGod]

60. That's it! You guys got me to spit my cheese & crackers all over my

New Black Sweater!
Scoundrels & Scallywags ! A Rambunctious crew you all are!

:evilgrin: (jealous grin)

"The fun will be in the retelling not merely the living it"
James Ellroy, 2003B-)

[underpants]

61. very very sticky

oh so sticky

[Bouncy Ball]

57. I think it goes without saying

they DAMN well better talk about me.

[Rabrrrrrr]

62. If nothing else, *I'LL* be talking about you

It might be to Homeland Security, but I'll be talking about you...

[Bouncy Ball]

63. Tell on me!

I want the attention!

No one EVER pays attention to a suburban soccer mom.

Pout. Especially one who hates bush.