When is a break a break-up?

[seaglass]

My 15yo just went through a week of torture from her first real boyfriend. He said he thought they should take a break for a week.

I knew it was a break-up and he was just being a coward.

My daughter does not look into the deeper meaning of things, she takes people and what they say at face value and clearly this boy was not being honest with her.

What's the deal with this new trend with High School kids and taking a break? Is it most always just a cowardly way to break up? I know from other HS parents that this is common practice.

I do know what an honest break is, my husband and I took one before we got married.

[ewagner]

1. What I know about parenting teenagers:

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oh yeah, one more thing I know:

Never assume you know what is cool or appropriate. You have absolutely zero chance of getting it rignt.

[seaglass]

3. Yeah I definitely know I'm not cool and I like to exaggerate

the fact.

I was right about the break up though. I don't think the basics in relationships change much.

[all.of.me]

2. aw, what a heartbreaker!

have your daughter play his game. she should tell him that she does not want to resume the relationship after the break. that way she takes back her power. does that make sense? i hvaen't had enough coffee this morning.

i have a 14 year old. i am NOT looking forward to this stuff in the very near future.

[seaglass]

4. They are broken up. He promised to call her Sunday night

by a certain time and didn't. She finally gave him an ultimatum - basically we're over if you continue to act like this. So he said that's it then.

It was a struggle to get her to see all week that she should have more respect for herself than to let him treat her the way that he did (making excuses for not seeing her etc.) She knew it but she kept saying but mom I can't help it, I really like him. Yuck.

[all.of.me]

8. well, good for her!

next time she will find a better guy if she learns from this relationship. she'll soon find out there are many others out there to 'really like.'

sadly, there are grown men out there doing the same thing this kid does!

[SarahB]

5. What a wuss!

I have a 13 year old and I deal with this stuff all the time too. Boys that age are clueless.

[seaglass]

6. Except he's 17, you'd think he would have a little maturity

and know a little about how to treat females but I guess not.

[jmm]

10. A 17 yr old with maturity who knows how to treat females?

You couldn't have been 17 so long ago that you forget what they're like.

[seaglass]

11. Hmm, you're right, sort of. I had a very good boyfriend when

I was 17, yeah we had our fights but he at least knew the common courtesies like if you make plans with your girlfriend and need to change them, be honest about it.

[Aiptasia]

7. All's fair in love and war

It's better than calling off a relationship via post-it note or voice mail.

A "break" in any relationship is the equivalent of "I want out of it for now." He probably just wanted to take the wuss way out and avoid a big fight/scene.

And you've got to remember that the relationship that you and your hubby have is far far different than your 15 year old daughter's relationships.

Try to explain to her that relationships are like sweaters, keep trying them on until you find one that fits and keeps you warm.

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. I think they all watch too many "Friends" reruns.

My heart goes out to your little girl. :( Boys are mean.