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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:46 PM
Original message
Men: Do you enjoy spending time with women?
If sex were taken out of the picture, would you choose to spend time with women?

I was listening to the radio this morning, and someone brought up the issue of some men just not liking women. It made me wonder how true this was, so I thought that this would be a good forum to ask this question.

(Disclosure: I'm a woman but really am interested in hearing your true feelings.)
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
1. Only if I can Use and Degrade them.
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Is it only women or is it people in general?
(Serious question although I realize that MAYBE you were joking.)
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
2. Absolutely, so long as there is good conversation, it doesn't matter
the gender. Though, as a man, I'd probably wind up glancing at her chest a few times. I try not to be a pig, I really do. It's hard work.
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sparky_in_ma Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. Yes
I've always enjoyed the company of women. It may sound corny but some of my best friends, without benefits, are women. It would be kinda foolish to exclude 60% of the population based on gender.
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Shadowen Donating Member (742 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
5. It depends.
Without sexuality in the picture, she'd better be horribly geeky if she wants to hold my attention. I know several guys who, if they or I were woman (or if we were gay, or if we were both gay women) I'd be all over--just based on our conversations.
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shawn703 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 06:59 PM
Response to Original message
6. Good question
I was going to answer it by saying yes I believe in platonic relationships between men and women, and have had and still have platonic relationships with women. But there is a difference between hanging out with a group of men and or being a guy and hanging out with a group of women. It takes a lot longer for me to "let my hair down", so to speak, with women than it does with men. It's nothing against women, more that I am more likely to be more sensitive of trying not to say or do something I think a woman might find offensive, whereas I feel more comfortable with judging the limits of what a male friend would find acceptable.

But on the other hand, I personally can develop a stronger friendship with a woman than a man the longer term it is.

I don't know if that really answered your question though, but I gave it a shot!
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
7. It's not a litmus test
Sex is neither a prerequisite nor a discriminator for a relationship with women.

I enjoy women's company, but there is no denying that I am attracted to them as well.

The question is, are women capable of having a platonic relationship with men who are attracted to them sexually?

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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:19 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Of course...
in answer to your question.
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. The only right answer
Though the question was rhetorical.

I've had very long platonic relationships with women I consider devastatingly attractive. Some of these relationships go back more than 20 years. I frankly don't know if they know because the subject has never come up.

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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #7
16. I think...
that sexual attraction on either person's part DOES change the dynamics of the relationship. The relationship can still be wonderful, but it IS different in some ways than a purely platonic relationship where both people just see each other as people who enjoy spending time together.
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
8. Depends on the person, entirely...
Some women I like, others I can't stand. Same goes for men. I try to spend time with the people I like.

Of course, if I'm spending time with a woman I'm interested in romantically, I will put up with a little more BS than I would from a man. :) So sue me.
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iconoclastic cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
9. Of course. A friendship with a woman is different than a friendship with a
man, but it's still friendship. I'm sure that some men might not "like" women (mommy issues, I bet), but that's not a normal mode as far as I can tell.

Of course, when I was single, I managed to ruin a few friendships by dating a female friend (this only happened on the rebound). That always sucks.
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
12. Yes. I've always had close women friends, and I enjoy their company.
And no, I am not talking about *s e x* at the moment. I just happen to get along very well with women. In fact, I even prefer to hang out with women. I just don't feel the need to sit around with the guys and shoot the shit, although I can also do that pretty well if necessary.

But that's just me. :)
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Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:33 PM
Response to Original message
13. Yes I do.
I have no problem having female friends for company. I know guys that do not have any female friends,I assume because they don't like them. That's their loss.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
14. Not a dude, but I still have input to share.
I'm a woman, and I enjoy the company of men. As friends, as companions, for intellectual conversation or low-brow laughs about breaking wind in inappropriate places, no matter. I like guys.

Here's something a little different, - I actually steer clear of involvement with men who don't have a few female friends. Almost every guy I've known well enough to be intimate with has at least a small number of close women friends with whom he socialises. I think it's a sign of healthy social development. In a lot of ways it's a skill to be able to find something other than a sensual relationship in eligible members of the gender you find attractive.
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #14
21. Totally agree!
Here's something a little different, - I actually steer clear of involvement with men who don't have a few female friends. Almost every guy I've known well enough to be intimate with has at least a small number of close women friends with whom he socialises. I think it's a sign of healthy social development. In a lot of ways it's a skill to be able to find something other than a sensual relationship in eligible members of the gender you find attractive.


Yes, absolutely! Ab-so-friggin'-lutely. I don't actually know many men with no female friends, but if I did I would be VERY suspicious. It's not an attractive trait. (My own groups of friends have always been mixed too.)

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Kenneth ken Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
15. depends on the woman of course,
but as a general rule, I like spending time with women more than I do spendig time with men.

Put me down for a "yes"

:hi:

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MrSlayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
17. Honestly? No.
I'd much rather hang out with the boys and party or fish or go to a game or something of the like. Very rare is the woman whom I would want to hang out with without the allure of possible sex. It's not that I don't like women, I just don't care about things that women like to do and would see no point in suffering through them without getting anything.
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Lost147 Donating Member (158 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
18. Depends really...
I mean I can tell immediatly if somone is potentially of any interest to me by first conversation, if I feel like I'm working to just maintain the conversation than it's obivously a no go. I hate conversations where everything you say is pre meditated and sugar coated. More often than not though I feel like I'm working when I'm just trying to carry on a conversation with a woman.
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
19. my best friends are women.
i prefer their company to men.
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 09:15 PM
Response to Original message
20. Sure, if we have something in common
Same as guys. I need to be able to relate to the other person, regardless of gender.

Now if I'm attracted to the woman, that will make it hard. But if I'm not attracted to the woman, then it's a perfect friendship (unless she's attracted to me, which has happened in previous friendships).

There are certain things a female friend can offer that a male friend can't -- and I'm not talking about sex.
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Bok_Tukalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 10:13 PM
Response to Original message
22. What an odd question
There are individuals I enjoy spending time with and some of them are female.
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 04:41 AM
Response to Reply #22
25. Why is it strange? (Honest question -- not being smart)
The responses really have been varied. Is it not appropriate? (I ask as a new member of DU.)
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CTLawGuy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 10:15 PM
Response to Original message
23. to be honest
straight guys tend to have other guys as friends. However, I think most don't have a problem with just being friends with women.
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 03:40 AM
Response to Original message
24. To me that'slike saying
"Do you wenjoy spending time with other people?"

I have women as friends, I have men as friends - I know many many women whom I could not abide for the briefest of moments, I know many many men whom I could not abide for the briefest of moments.

Sex is never an issue with women from my perspective, though I know that there have been a few cases when that was not reciprocal.

It all depends on the person - that simple, yet that complex.
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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 06:30 AM
Response to Original message
26. much better than with men
but I've been spoiled by my sweet wife of 25 years. I almost never am serious around other men, talk of anything of substance or depth. Plus, the women are smarter.
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rasputin1952 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:34 AM
Response to Original message
27. I enjoy the company of women...
I am always out to get a differing viewpoint and to me there is nothing better than intelligent women discussing issues and just plain old life w/o all of the pressure of a sexual situation.

to be honest, some women just plain bug me, just as some men just plain bug me. But for the majority of women I know,they want to be heard, understood and be considered equals in aqll aspects of life. I find nothing wrong with any of those ideas.

I have had great fun with women, and enjoy immensely a femminine laugh. If people treated each other with just some plain old respect, we'd all get along a heck of a lot better...:)

And watch out for those talk radio shows...:evilgrin:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:43 AM
Response to Original message
28. I really can't think of any any dudes that I hang out with on
a regular basis, I only hang out with women. They like me, I like them :shrug:
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:45 AM
Response to Original message
29. hell yeah
and sex isn't really ever part of the picture

women are great :)
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:45 AM
Response to Original message
30. It all depends if the women are cool
BTW: Women love spending time with me, without the sex.

I always returned the sentiment.
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sexybomber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
31. Oh yes, of course!
I love everything about women! (Sex included :D) Well, women who don't have issues. (Like my ex-girlfriend. Long story.)

So, to answer your question, if the women in question have nice personalities and enjoy spending time with me... then of course!
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SnohoDem Donating Member (915 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:53 AM
Response to Original message
32. Of course
I enjoy the company of many of the women I work with, and my wife's friends, and my friends' wives.

I enjoy the DU Lounge and many of the posters here are women. For me sex, aside from jokes, isn't much of an issue here.

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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
33. Some of my very best friends are women. So of course I do.
Depends on the woman of course, but I can be friends with people of either gender. :)
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