DU Divorcees: what did you do with your wedding bands?

[CanuckAmok]

I don't know what to do with mine. It's been in a drawer for 16 months or so, but I need some closure.

It's about .75 ounce of 24k gold.

I don't want to sell it, because it was custom-made, and the gold stock used to make our rings was a family heirloom (ex's family), smuggled out of Poland during the Nazi Occupation. Despite the end of my marriage, that still means alot to me.

But I don't want to give it to my ex, either.

What did you do with yours?

[tyedyeto]

1. Gave it to my daughter....

She wears it occasionally and it's been 4 years since the split..

[NMDemDist2]

2. when hubby and I got married, we both took the old rings and had

them melted down and redone. A manly necklace thingie for him and a new ring for me (I bought an opal and a couple small emeralds to set in it)

[Left Is Write]

3. I'm not divorced, so I can't say for sure what I'd do, but

could you have it made into something else? If you don't want to alter it because it was custom-made, I'd just put it away in a box in a drawer until there's some more distance between you and the end of your marriage. You can always decide later.

ETA that I do realize it's already been sitting in a drawer, but you just sound uncertain about parting with it in its current form.

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. It's on my keychain.

Of course, I still like my ex. Your mileage may very. ;)

[sparky_in_ma]

5. I still have mine.

You reminded me, I need to see what I can get for it.

[bobbieinok]

12. still have mine.....since 89

[sparky_in_ma]

17. Mine was '88

Never thought about it until now.

[LeftyMom]

6. My ex stole it

not that it matters, it wasn't worth much. LD still had his when we got together but sold it a few years back when he realized it didn't mean anything to him anymore and we needed some money more than we needed a symbol of the world's most f'd up marriage.

If the gold stock is significant to the ex's family like that, maybe you could ask her if she would like to keep it, or give it to a relative you're on good terms with.

[Dan-W]

7. My two are sitting in the safe.

My son or daughter can have them when I check out.

Widowed once (their mother), divorced once.

[mcscajun]

8. I have two: they're both in the Safe Deposit Box

No point in selling it unless the price of gold is SKY-HIGH. You buy jewelry at retail and sell at wholesale.

You could have the ring used to make some other piece of jewelry, but it will cost you.

[rug]

9. I'd give it to my lawyer.

[havocmom]

10. Beat the crap outta them with a hammer for starters

Then, after months of hard work on my head, I gave the ring I had worn back to the questionable gentleman in question. Took his to the duck pond in the park and chucked it as far as I could while telling the ducks that he was a total asshole. OK, I actually shouted it. It was good. I felt a lot of anger leave my body.

It was the same day my pal the anger therapist put me in the 'hot seat' at group and let me rant, beat on a large block of foam rubber with a tennis racket (I went through three, actually) and disassemble (correct usage, not the bush* definition) a tear-apart human form while venting rather seriously. Met my ex in the park right after that and was quite relaxed about it when I gave him back my ring and tossed his in to be shit on by ducks for eternity ;) It was a VERY good day.

My pal the anger therapist called next morning to check on me, see if I had managed to sleep, stopped puking... all the usual stuff he went over with regular clients. Told him I felt great, except for some muscle soreness in my whacking arm, slept like a baby and was hungry as a horse. He took me to lunch that day. Gave me a ribbon and everything.

There is life ahead, trust me. Good days, bad days, some steps backward once in awhile, but if you set your mind and heart to it, you grow, become more of who you really are and find happiness most of the time.

Good luck on your journey. The rewards are great for following the hard path of taking on real healing. It is worth the work. Joy returns and so does sanity.

[yellowdogintexas]

11. Used the gold to have a ring made with my grandmother's

wedding diamonds.

This was about 12 years after the divorce, though.

[politicaholic]

13. Wear it on your other hand to remind you to never get married again.

Mine is permanently part of an art piece I did. It hangs on my wall now.

[burythehatchet]

14. one keeps a table from wobbling

one is in that cruddy dish next to the sink with the sponge in it (how it got there I don't know)

[KG]

15. well, now that i think of it, i have no idea what became of it.

it was long ago, and far away.

[maveric]

16. I had to sell mine to buy food for my kids. Ex left the country and ran u

all the credit cards. A 2-income family was suddenly a 1-income family.
I got $17.00 for it from a pawn shop. And I shopped around too!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. Oh my god, maveric...

Every time you talk about your ex, I just feel so sad for you...She must have been a real b***h. The healing from all that trauma must still be going on. Anytime you'd like to talk, I'm here for you...

:pals:

[enigmatic]

20. Oh man...

That absolutely sucks...sorry about that.

[HEyHEY]

19. Excellent post

One of the most interesting in a long time.

[leftofthedial]

21. make a pecker ring out of it

remind you which head to think with next time

[Dave Reynolds]

22. My story is so tacky, but here goes.

I had a nice set from my first wife. My current wife saw them, and wanted me to have a new ring made from the gold and stones. So we did that.