Potential job/Potential nightmare

[Not_Giving_Up]

My mother in law called today and asked to speak to my husband. She's done this for the last couple of months, she has no desire to talk to me. This works rather well for me. I digress. The trailer park that her dad lives in is looking for a husband/wife team to manage the park. One for office, one for light maintenance stuff. The pay for both of us together would be $1300/month, free three bedroom trailer to live in, free electricity. No cats allowed.

We have three cats, one very attached to my son, two very attached to me. Mother in law has offered to take my son's cat, but he would have to stay outside in her loft/garage, which he's not used to. My main kitty was indoor/outdoor until recently, and there's a chance that she could go with us, just stay outside. The third kitty would likely have to find a new home.

It gets worse than the cat issue. My Aspie son would be thrown into junior high in a new district. The district we're in now doesn't go junior high until seventh grade, while the potential district starts at sixth grade.

There is also the fact that my husband simply cannot hold a job. I generally am the main money maker in the house. If he screws up, we're both out of a job and a house at the same time. Also, this is not exactly a stable marriage. If it tumbles to the ground, what are we supposed to do? Stay together for this job?

My mother in law doesn't understand why I'm not jumping up and down at this news. After all, I was off work for a month on medical, then got fired a week later. My parents are paying my bills for the most part. I've filed for unemployment, but haven't heard back yet. We're eating thanks to food stamps. I should be jumping for joy at this, according to her.

I generally make between tweleve and fifteen dollars an hour, while my husband acts like an irresponsible teenager. I figured up the pay, along with the free rent (assuming the same rent I pay now), and free electricity (also based on current bills), along with the hours. The pay averages out to six bucks an hour for each of us. He thinks this is great...after all, that adds up to the twelve an hour I was making at the last job, which sucked, and left us broke all of the time.

I don't know, am I wrong? Given my current situation, should I be thrilled at this? Is my mother in law right?

[mermaid]

1. Don't Walk...RUN!!!!

This is bad news all the way around!

Your mother-in-law would have you completely under her thumb in this arrangement. All she has to do is threaten you with your job...and your home, every time you do ANYTHING which displeases her...or her son. and you know she won't let her SON go to the street homeless and hungry. Just YOU.

Unless you want to be completely dominated and controlled, for the rest of your life...by your husband, and your mother-in-law, I say, do not walk away from this offer...FUCKING RUN!!! Full speed!! And don't look back.

Dear Abby has spoken.

[Not_Giving_Up]

2. My mother in law wouldn't control the job

Her dad lives in the park, but that's her only connection.

She does, however, control my vehicle. It was financed in her name, she makes the payments, I give her $2000 of my tax return every year (we get EIC) to pay her back. She has recently threatened to take my car and put it up for sale. Although she is more able than parents, she is not helping us at all financially, while my parents literally paid my rent last month, and will be paying a big portion of it this month. (I got a paycheck for the twenty hours I worked before getting fired.) She's been chewing my husband out asking when I am going to get a job...not when he will get one.

[BlondieK143]

3. She could hold it over your head

and THINK that she controls you. I mean, she could use the whole "Well, I'm the one that told you about the job" excuse.

I think it's a bad idea and you're right to have your doubts/reservations. It's completley up to you and your husband, but if I were in your situation, I would make sure there are no other avaliable opportunities.

[EC]

4. Would you also be able to get an outside job

to protect YOU in case everything falls apart? Couldn't your husband handle the office as well as the light maintenance part-time while you work another part-time job, for yourself?

Economies like this are a real bitch to unstable marriages, just makes it that much harder to make it work when you also have money and housing problems to deal with.

Don't know what else to say, except how much do you trust your Mother-In-Law to really want to help the situation and not try to get her son back with her? (I say this only because my Late Mother-In-Law did everything she could to get her baby back, and during the Reagan years, she nearly succeeded).


On edit: #1 voiced my concerns really well, this is what my life was like back then...She does control your job too, because she would be in control of you...which will in turn control your job performance, so therefore controls your job...Also, says alot that she is wondering when YOU will get another job, not him...for what it's worth, I found it less stressful on my daughter and myself, to get out of the situation completely....If you really want to stay married, move as far away from her as you can get...And please reflect on the environment your husband grew up in, shaping his views and ethics...there must be reasons he can't keep a job and doesn't mind relying on you to support him.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. I don't think so

I spoke to the owner on the phone, they have multiple properties and the hours are 9-6 M-F plus 10-2 every other Saturday.

I don't think mommie dearest is trying to get him back. She did that when she was single, but she's been married for five years now, and the new hubby does not want the lazy son hanging around the house all day. I can't blame him.

The economy is definitely a bitch. I'm so used to being the one making the money, and generally being broke. I know I could hold the job, it's him I worry about. I think his mom is so pumped about this because she thinks it would force him to do something. I know, after nearly 12 years, that he doesn't get forced. He'll just decide that he doesn't want to do a darn thing, and that's that.

[fleabert]

5. ditto reply #1

she may not control the job, literally speaking, but she'd hold it over your head forever. 'I got you that job! you owe me, and not just for the car!' and don't bet that she wouldn't then say, 'i'm selling the car since you live on site of your job now.' then you would be sooooo stuck. In a really shitty situation. Keep looking, things will get better.

[Not_Giving_Up]

7. The plan is supposed to be

If this job happens, I make the monthly note. Bitch had better NOT take it then!

I have no doubt that she'd hold the job over my head if something happened, but I also know that if something happened, it would be her son that caused it.

[fleabert]

8. yikes. I am putting good job vibes out there for you

you need it more than me...I'm looking too.

:hug: