Celebrity Hot Dog-Eating Contest!

[saltpoint]

Were there to be a Celebrity Hot Dog-Eating Contest, which of the following 9 celebrities do you believe could eat the most hot dogs?

To effectively respond to this poll, you must summon your imagination and visualize these 9 celebrities as fierce competitors at a common table, jamming hot dogs into their mouths at an alarming, even stupefying rate.

A 10th poll choice covers --OTHERs-- you feel would triumph in a wiener-wolfing war of celebrities.

Dig in.

[LiberalVoice]

1. John Candy

May he rest in peace. ;(

[saltpoint]

3. Yeah, I imagine he could have been a winner in this one.

I miss him in the movies.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

2. Donny.

[saltpoint]

4. Yep, I could see it. Underneath that reserved Mormon veneer is a --

-- craven soul ravenously devouring any food within reach.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

5. Did you know some years ago they had this celeb. boxing

match for charity. One was Danny Boniduce vs. Donnie Osmond. Though Boniduce is a martial artists Donny kicked his ass!

[saltpoint]

6. Really? O my god. I had no idea.

That is REALLY going to warp my brain tonight.

Evidently there's more to the guy than I figured.

[LiberalVoice]

7. Wow

I really want to fight Donnie Osmond now. Well....more.

[saltpoint]

20. Donny was in Lafayette, Indiana, where I'm staying at the moment --

-- on Wednesday of this week.

If I'd known you wanted to take him on, I could have maybe arranged something...

(He was at a CD signing at I think Barnes & Nobles...)

[Don1]

8. Ken Starr

He was an fellatio-phobe for a reason.

[saltpoint]

12. Gotta say that Linda Tripp might be the person destined to be --

-- the loneliest soul ever from that point forward when she phoned Starr and ratted out her friend Monica.

There's a novel in there someplace, seems like.

[Floogeldy]

9. Artie Fleischer!

He loves him some Texas style weiners!!!!!!!!!!

B-)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

10. I knew it! lol.

[saltpoint]

13. Fleischer told the press he was leaving his post at the White House --

-- because he wanted to spend more time with his family, but I have it on VERY reliable sources that it was really because he will be on a 50-state tour giving workshops on How To Lie through Your Teeth Constantly.

[KitchenWitch]

11. KKKKKarl Rove

for obvious reasons.

[saltpoint]

14. Ah, KitchenWitch. A good vote you just cast, yes, but an even better --

-- photo of Senator Wellstone's bus.

I'm still awfullly homesick for that guy.

[KitchenWitch]

15. Me too OC

Me too :cry:

[saltpoint]

16. The early returns show a 7-way tie for first. Incredible! Amazing!

It's just too close to call.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime poll, of course, so everyone should rush to the phone -- it's 3:41 a.m. on the eastern seaboard as I type this message -- and wake up your friends and neighbors and work colleagues and tell them the thrill and adrenalin rush of a celebrity hot dog poll is theirs for the asking!

Don't hesitate. Pick up that phone!

[saltpoint]

17. Donny Osmond edges into the lead by a nose. Hot Dogs are flying --

-- everywhere.

This is Celebrity Hot Dog ferocity at its best, folks.

[unhappycamper]

18. I can see Rush putting 28 dogs and buns away in about 15 minutes.

That guy is a real pig. (Assuming of course, he gets his fix afterward.)

[saltpoint]

19. Hi, unhappycamper. I thought about putting Rush in the poll choices

but wanted to include Judy Woodruff this time.

Poor Judy. She seems like a hell of a nice person who just isn't cut out to do political interviews.

I dementedly love the image of her wolfing down hot dogs at a dizzying pace.

[MrSlayer]

21. Rosie O'Donnell

or Sally Struthers.

[saltpoint]

23. You're killing me here, MrSlayer -- with the Sally Struthers pick.

I shouldn't laugh because I guess she's raised more money for starving people than I ever will, but dammit, when I opened the thread to read your post and saw what you'd put there, I howled like a baboon.

[MrSlayer]

25. Glad to be of service.

That was a really funny episode.

[saltpoint]

26. Thanks.

:toast:

[bamacrat]

22. Kirstie Alley

[saltpoint]

24. O my god, bamacrat -- you're going to get me sued.

This woman has been in the diet news of late. I'm going to need SEVERAL lawyers to add her, you understand...

:hi:

[saltpoint]

27. RICK SANTORUM agrees to join Celebrity Hot Dog Eating Contest No. 2 !!

A spokeswoman for Senator Rick Santorum (R-Manondog) has just emailed word that the Senator will indeed be available for CELEBRITY HOT DOG EATING CONTEST No. 2 which will be held at a later date.

The spokeswoman mentioned that the Senator is "irked" at not being included in the first CELEBRITY HOT DOG EATING CONTEST, adding that Mr. Santorum spent the morning and most of the afternoon kicking wastebaskets throughout the office and spewing coarse remarks about inter-species intimacy.

I emailed official acceptance back to the Senator's office. We look forward to Senator Santorum adding his profile to CELEBRITY HOT DOG EATING CONTEST No. 2.

[saltpoint]

28. But are hot dogs good for you?

Are CELEBRITIES good for you?

Aren't a lot of celebrities hot dogs?

___
(I tried to choose some better-than-average celebrities, at least for the most part.)