I confess: I AM GOD. Send me your prayers.

[valis]

And I'll see what can be done. Keep it short and simple.

[DrDebug]

1. Bless me father because I have sinned

I'm not going into details, because you know already, so there.

[valis]

2. I can tell you you shouldn't have behaved that way...

But somebody has already prayed for you and I accepted it. So, you are fine.

[phaseolus]

3. suuuure. you'll mis-hear the prayers

...and I'll end up with a 12 inch pianist again...

[Roland99]

4. "Dear God. Where the #$^@ are my car keys?!?!"

[valis]

6. They fell. Retrace your steps.

[Roland99]

13. I fell down the steps.

Thanks a helluva lot, God!














:P

[jaxx]

5. I want to see your credentials first.

Do you have a badge? Are you the head of the God squad, or are you the only member? Does dubya get first nibs at your ear? :shrug:

[valis]

7. That's it! No prayers from you. I'm a vindictive God.

[jaxx]

11. Wellllll I was going to ask for Jeff Gordon to win today at Dover.

But I wanted to be sure you were the real thing before I asked.......oh and no wrecks please.

Did I pass? Did I huh?

[valis]

16. Problem is another conflicting prayer is being evaluated

by my staff.

[hfojvt]

21. In the words of Yogi Berra

why don't we just let (Valis) enjoy the game (/race)?

[jaxx]

23. Damn you are vindictive

42 laps and into the wall. Waaaaaaaa :cry:

[valis]

24. We received prayers for that to happen. Many.

Nothing we could do. Sorry.

[jaxx]

28. LOL we'll try this again next week.

[valis]

30. I'd recommend that. You are in the system now.

We don't need to redo the background check for your next prayer.

[Chicago Democrat]

8. Dear God, Forgive the people of our country for the sins of their leaders!

Amen.

[valis]

17. I cannot forgive those who did not want to know out of laziness

[Hugin]

9. Lordy, lordy... Will I ever find a truly compatible...

Beer?

It's got to have a great taste... Yet, be light.

Amen and such.

Your constituent,
Prag.

[ghostsofgiants]

10. If that's the case, then I don't even know if you exist.

[gmoney]

12. Dear God, protect me from your followers...

I don't have a problem with God, it's the fan clubs I can't stand.

[valis]

22. We've are planning to downsize It is getting out of control

[brokensymmetry]

14. Lord, I pray thee...

grant me the ability to quickly, easily, and permanently edit reality through all dimensions, including space and time.

As my first edit, I'll change the 2004 vote in Ohio... :)

[valis]

20. That would interfere with the 2008 plans. Already got a TON

of prayers for that, and an equal number for 2006. We are working on it.

[HawkerHurricane]

15. I wish for peace on Earth, good will toward men...

and the power to decide who lives and who dies.

[iconoclastic cat]

18. Bless this,O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits

[hfojvt]

19. Deliver us from evil

Forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

[Lannes]

25. Its God?

Quick everyone look busy.

[valis]

26. I can see you. Hands on your desk, please.

:P

[Lannes]

27. Sorry

All that cleavage talk.... :P

[Willinois]

29. As long as I don't have to send you a tithe

I'm down with it.