Star Wars is the tool of Satan!

[iconoclastic cat]

Here's proof:

http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/#tracts

Try not to visit their "forum." I dare you.

[maveric]

1. OMFG! Prepare for Salem Witch Trials II.

The BFEE has whipped up religous insanity in this country!

[iconoclastic cat]

2. Read through the whole site. Seriously, do it. You'll die.

It's gold!

[pnorman]

3. It's hard to tell if that's a "Chick tract" sort of thing,

or an Onion type satire. There's a Cafe Press ad there. ("Is that Jesus in your pants, or are you just happy to Praise the Lord?") Maybe they're CLUELESS. But I'll take it as a straight Fundie rant, and use it appropriately.

pnorman

[Left Is Write]

4. I can't believe it's not satire.

I can't imagine any true fundie endorsing those boxer shorts, and the condemnation of Star Wars is just too over the top to be real.

[Deja Q]

5. Okay, I need to write to them:

Billions of dollars has been made off the series of movies called The Star Wars that is beloved by millions. Many big fans of this space opera, do not know that the fantasy epic they enjoy is not a simple entertainment, but Satan's Battleground for their very souls!

The only evil part is that the creator doesn't put much of it (if any) back into society.

In this “Final Episode” of the Star Wars, EVIL triumphs using the Force - a greater force they claim than God! This is a Dangerous LIE! This is no mindless entertainment, but an attempt by DEMONS to distract you from your real 75 year mission on planet Earth, to give yourself to Jesus! Do not trust a Yodah puppet from Satan’s dream factory, trust in the Word of the Bible!

Uh, the final episode is episode VI - the one made in 1983. This one is episode III, though made in 2005. It's quite simple to fathom that episode VI comes after episode III. Are you people so flipping OBTUSE?!

Since 1999 we warned that the end times will be upon us with THE SEVENTH SEQUEL – and that time is now.

He wrote 9 episodes originally. Why are you creaming your pants over this? Going to buy tickets months in advance? (if so, make sure the theatre is going to show it before you wait...) And episode VII is THREE YEARS AWAY. It ain't now, baby.

Do you have a collection of the Star Wars figures and idols? Do you watch the Star Wars- religiously? No Force can help you, White side or Black. Armies fight Babylon, the towers exploded - the battle of Armageddon is soon, but you must decide! Turn your back on fantasy movies and give yourself to the only real faith – the truth of JESUS.

:rofl: I'm sure that the Trek geeks who are also Christians are going to hell because they own a Picard 12" play doll. :eyes:

Christians REJOICE! Jesus will lead us in a real star war - between the armies of Heaven and Satan. Believers will “beam” up to the Starship in the sky, and Captain Jesus shall lead a thousand year Federation of Planets before Judgment Day. We are destined to WIN!

But which side is George W Bush on? The anti-Christ isn't going to make himself obvious by word; it's his ACTIONS that demonstrate that.

When you stand before Jesus’ throne what will you say you believe in —the power of the Lord, or the power of the Force? Science fiction fans repent. Your very eternal SOUL depends on your answer.

What doesn't Jesus' lavatory have to do with anything? And who's been cleaning it for 2000 years, anyway?

Accept JESUS as your Star Guide by seeing the Morality Players perform the works of JACK CHICK on August 19-21 2005 – The only entertainment in Hollywood that saves your eternal soul –Guaranteed!

Jesus, or the actor playing him? Oh, BTW, if it's not the REAL Jesus then the audience is worshipping a FALSE IDOL. Whoops! (oh, the profits you make from this atrocity... do they go back into society, the way Jesus would probably want them to?)



With a phallus that size, you bet some people would worship R2D2. :scared: Not me though.

[NYdemocrat089]

6. The fact that they just spelled "Yoda" wrong makes me wonder if they've

even watch the movies closely.

"Since 1999 we warned that the end times will be upon us with THE SEVENTH SEQUEL"

There is no 7th film.

"In this “Final Episode” of the Star Wars, EVIL triumphs using the Force - a greater force they claim than God! This is a Dangerous LIE!"

It is called Science-FICTION.......F-I-C-T-I-O-N.

That wasn't supposed to be serious....was it?

[nytemare]

10. Yeah, and the EVIL represents people like BUSH!!!

Imagine that!!

[Hatalles]

7. Oh, man. Check out the video clip for a Phantom Menace protest.

http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/streaming.html

I thought this was a joke site... but actual protests? Wow... what whackjobs. :crazy:

[iconoclastic cat]

8. Maybe it is a joke. On that page there is this blurb:

LOAD MEDIA's coverage of us on their website. (446 k) They thought we were quite scary. (And real!)
******

Does this mean that they were joking? Or not?

[nytemare]

12. I went to ooze.com which I suppose is the feeder site

Seems it is a joke, I am sure some don't take it as a joke, though.

VERY funny stuff!

[iconoclastic cat]

14. It's definitely a joke:

From the "about us" page:

http://www.ooze.com/finger/html/ooze_news.html

At one time or another the authors have posed as fundamentalist Christians to protesting the re-release of "Star Wars" as a Satanic plot, busted moves as the world's worst breakdance troupe, worn Depends undergarments to urinate with freedom in public, and staged elaborate "Pro-Meat" demonstrations where they encouraged the rampant consumption of animal flesh, complete with free Slim Jims and pork chops. Most recently they were "Jews For Jerry" where they told Jerry Springer himself that he was the Messiah. Oddly, he didn't seem shocked.

****

[pnorman]

16. I guess that settles it!

They're straight up and down Fundies. But that Cafe Press T-shirt ad shows that they're CLUELESS!

pnorman
On edit: I missed the other posting! Wrong again! That Cafe Press ad was their sly tipoff.

[nytemare]

9. They are trying to distract us from the fact that Bush is the Emperor

And possibly the Antichrist.

Our current political situation is much like the one in Star Wars, which emulated Nazi Germany and the Roman Empire. Perhaps it should concern us as a nation that this parallel is being drawn.

BTW, I don't think Bush is the Emperor. The Emperor is not a chickenhawk, and would probably kick Bush's ass.

[nytemare]

11. This is hilarious!

C3 Gay O. Someone has way too much time on their hands!!

[aeolian]

13. Looks like I got me some new wallpaper! >:)

That's just too funny!

:rofl:

:hide:

[yardwork]

15. Jesus is dressed like a 1970s disco dancer - this is a joke