Why is it so hard to say "thank you"?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

I hold doors for people. Men, women, children, doesn't matter. It's the polite thing to do.

But why is it so goddamn hard for people to open their mouth to just utter a simple "thanks"? :rant: :banghead:

[tavalon]

1. If you lived in the South

and I'm not recommending it, pretty much everyone would say thanks. The politeness is in our very marrow. We're so polite, you don't always know when we've reached around and stabbed you in the back. :)

[lpbk2713]

2. It seems like some people see an act of kindness

from one stranger to another as a sign of weakness. But I keep doing it anyway. Just a lifelong habit I guess.

[MissHoneychurch]

3. oh I would thank you very nice and with a smile

it's the way I was brought up.

[babylonsister]

7. Ding ding ding! It's the way I was brought up

as well, MissHoneychurch, and that, I think, makes all the difference!

[stellanoir]

4. Because far too many are not taught

or not aware of the magical importance of gratitude and are most unfortunately in survival mode.

Dicey times these are.

[dhinojosa]

5. One time I opened a door for someone in a wheelchair....

and he yelled "I'll get my own damn door". So I waited till he was in and then slammed the door on him. I still feel no remorse. I used to think that I should feel guilty for something like that. I pondered that if a walking person said that I'd slam the door on that person too! So in conclusion, I felt even better because I was an equality-minded person.

[MuseRider]

6. I do the same.

Being female the males always look at me funny and murmur thanks, I don't know if they are embarrassed or what. I figure if I am there and I have the door in my hand it is only right for me to step aside and hold it for whoever is waiting to come in. Handing it off is OK too but I prefer to just hold it.

I always say thanks and I think at least half if not more say it back if I am holding it.

Sorry to say, somehow my sons are not as courteous. I am not certain why that is, I taught them better than that I thought. Age maybe, I don't remember how I was when I was late teens-early twenties but they are not as good at it. Otherwise they are great but that seems to not have stuck.

[purr]

8. or EXCUSE ME.

I was in Kohls yesterday looking at maternity clothes for my growing belly and this woman with a buggy tried to go past me without hitting me with her buggy. Couldnt even say EXCUSE ME. I just looked at her and let out a big ass annoyed sign (wasnt in the mood for a battle - too bloody hot).

Hubby was impressed I didnt let loose on her :)

I swear I live in the worlds most snobbish neighborhood. At least around Pittsburgh.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Because people fuckin' suck

for the most part.

I just drove through illinois this weekend - don't even get me started on the "thoughtless asshole" meme, though I wish to pass kudos to the one very nice guy, who happened to be an Illinoisian, and his companions who were the only ones to slow down and let me merge into traffic at one particularly precarious on-ramp.

[blondeatlast]

10. Three times this weekend I held the door for my elders as I was taught.

Only once was I thanked, and this lovely woman with a walker had the sweetest, most sincere smile I ever saw.

She seemed genuinely surprised that someone would still do that, bless her heart.

What a country. Is a little quiet, simple courtesy that hard to come by?

[Inland]

11. Oh, it's worse than that. I get a dismissive "imm-hmm"

whenever I thank a counter clerk or service person. You would think that "you are welcome" or "thank YOU" would be more appropriate, but no, I get teh "imm-hmm" which tells me that my thanks are simply another bother for them to respond to on top of the hassle of my buying something.

[wideopen]

12. doorholder here...

It is a VERY rare occurance if someone here doesn't say thank you when I'm holding the door. I do live in a pretty friendly/polite town though.

[newportdadde]

13. I'm a open door passer, I will make sure whoever behind me gets the hand off

If I don't get a thank you I do sometimes say sarcastically "your welcome", although I've stopped being sarcastic like that after someone here in KC got shot for doing that.

This weekend I actually had a woman hold a door open for me after her kids went through and she probably thought I acted strange just because I was so surprised. I walked through and in turn opened the next door for her and her 3 small kids.

What I hate and I mean HATE, is when someone is behind me and I hold the door open stretching my arm for them to take control of it only to have them walk fully through next to me without even touching the door like I'm their butler.

As a side note of rudeness this week at the zoo my wife and I were apart and I was trying to maneuver my son through a door in his stroller. So here I am stretching with one leg to keep the door open then trying to raise up the stroller to get over the lip at the bottom of the door railing.. all the while a lady with two kids on the other side of the door just stands there and watches... damn lady I could have used a quick hand.

Ow and finally what is it with NOBODY saying excuse me. If I almost walk into someone coming in and out the of the bathroom at my office, I'm always the one who says excuse me while they just stare at me. Or if I just cross paths with someone out in public no mutual excuse me nothing. I can't remember the last time I heard excuse me from someone.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

15. I do the "you're welcome" too.

I make sure it's loud enough to embarass them too.

[enlightenment]

14. How about the corollary -- opening a door to enter or leave a building

or room, and having a small herd plow through from the other side -- as if you have suddenly disappeared. You have to move out of the way or be mowed down. And most of the time, the doors are glass (plexi, whatever. You can see through them).
This may be a college campus phenomenon, but boy, is it irritating.

I usually give them my mom look (I'm a teacher, not a student) and say "you're welcome!"
I get blank stares in return -- if they even notice. Mostly girls, interestingly.

I was raised to say thank-you, you're welcome, pardon (or excuse) me, "may I" instead of "can I" (where appropriate) -- and still address most people as sir or ma'am (including my students, who rarely deserve the courtesy).

Many people, including some friends, consider me an anachronism. Better that than rude.

[Yit]

16. Eating a PBJ maybe?