Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Growing up did you identify more with a male or female parent?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:22 PM
Original message
Poll question: Growing up did you identify more with a male or female parent?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. It's so hard for me to say.
Starting at about 12 years old, I was put in the unique position of being the "parental figure" for my whole family. I love both of my parents with all of my heart, but they're not the strongest people in the world. I found myself being the one making the hard decisions and offering guidance more often than not. That said, I sort of had to form my own identity rather quickly.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
2. This should be interesting
I'm female, identified with my father. I could never figure out why men got to do all the cool stuff being involved with the world and women just sat around the house (that's how I saw my stay-at-home mom).
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sweetladybug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
3. As a child I identified more with my mother but I got along good with my
Edited on Mon Jun-06-05 01:29 PM by sweetladybug
father also. My mother was the parent that was home with me more. Although, as an adult I get along better with males than females (I've had more females to stabbed me in the back, so I trust males more)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
4. I was a daddy's girl. (Still am, I suppose.)
I got/get along with both of my parents wonderfully, but I've always had more in common with my dad -- I look more like his side of the family, we've got similar interests, etc.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
One_Life_To_Give Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
5. Chapin's Cats in the Cradle
While of your choices, I would have to say my dad. I identify most with Chapin's classic.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. That song never fails to make me cry
:hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
6. Identified with my mother
I spent most of my time with her. My dad was very shy, to the point they developed the habit of her speaking for him, even within the family.

I didn't understand my dad very well growing up. He seemed an uncommunicative person to me. I knew he loved me, but it was almost impossible to understand what he was thinking at any minute. I understand him more now.

I wish he were alive so I could get to know him better and tell him it's OK, because now I understand.

Sadly, identifying with such a strong female figure could also be why I have a hard time with relationships now. I openly admit I can't figure men out. :shrug:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
booley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
7. My mom was my only stable parent
My parents got divorced when I was young and my stepfather was, frankly, abusive, when I was growingup. he's changed for the better but we were not too close when i was young.

As fo rmy father, he remarried and moved to variouse states further and further away until he settled in Orange California. He visited regularily but it was still a week end thing, not regular.

I was raised by my mother. I inherited my values largly from my mother (ironic considering she was catholic and I am a pagan) and when I had a boyfriend and wanted to have my ffamily meet him, my mother was one of the few that really made him feel welcome. Indeed, my then boyfriend (now ex) disliked most my family..except my mother.

I know, a long way to say that I identify with my Mom.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Rainbowreflect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
8. When I was very little I was a daddy's girl.
But my father died when I was 5. I am very close to my mother now, but we did not get along while I was growing up. My fault I'm sure, I was a wild child.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Shoeempress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 01:58 PM
Response to Original message
9. My Mother was a Strong independent woman who encouraged me to
be the same, which I am. Father's only real interaction with me was trying to force me to be a Catholic. Always thought he was a wingnut. Turned out they both were wingnuts and when I became the independent woman I am, they FREAKED.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
10. kick
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Catbird Donating Member (633 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 03:22 PM
Response to Original message
11. Daughter with father
My interests, abilities, and physical appearance matched my father's fairly closely. He recognized who I was and accepted my decisions even when he didn't agree with them. My mother never quite accepted that I didn't fit her image of the ideal daughter. Nevertheless, they both loved me as well as each other and did the best they could with their children. I miss them both.
:grouphug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 03:22 PM
Response to Original message
12. my cat
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Lady Effingbroke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
14. Equidistant from both parents.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Madrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
15. Neither.
I have nothing in common with my family members.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. adopted?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Madrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 10:34 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Nope.

It would be nice though - at least it would be an explanation! ;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 08:57 PM
Response to Original message
17. Female, didn't get along well w/ mother.
still don't.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
19. Daddy's girl...
It took me a long time to learn to appreciate my Mom.

Tucker
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 10:48 PM
Response to Original message
20. I don't know if I identified with either really.
Edited on Mon Jun-06-05 10:49 PM by SarahBelle
I have a very different personality than that of my parents. I am a very independent thinker and as a little kid had a very strong personality (I suppose I still do in some sense). They are both people that live their lives based on fear rather than strength which I find terribly sad sometimes.

Anyway, I was (and still am) closer with my father because he's a kind and loving man toward me. My mother isn't so much.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-06-05 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
21. I don't know how to answer this, really.
I identified strongly with my mother and wanted to be just like her (and in many ways, I am), but I got a lot of my personality traits from my father, who I always admired (and still do).
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Apr 25th 2024, 04:57 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC