Do some women run "tests" to see what kind of man they're dealing with?

[Champ]

Sometime last week I was telling my g/f about my day at work, I mentioned that I had only enough money but to get home on the bus but I was hungry. So I ended up paying .50 for some chips but knew I could get the money from someone else(we always help each other out at my job). So I told her I asked this guy for $1 and she was basically telling me that wasn't cool. So I asked her about the time when she asked me for $58 to go to Target to get things she needed amout countless other things. She asked me if I wanted her to be honest with me. I told her yeah, she asked me just to see what I would say, not that she actually wanted anything but so she could get a general idea of what kind of guy she was dealing with. She told me there were many other times and they weren't always questions she used to "find out" what kind of man I really was but she says she can't expect someone to always be %100 who they really are. This threw me off but it really didn't surprise me, there were quite a few things that didn't made sense that she did early on. But she refused to tell me what the conversations were or what she had learned from these "tests". Ironically, I get a dating tips newsletter in my e-mail I usually pay no attention too but occassionally read for fun. He stated that beautiful women run "tests" to quickly narrow the field of the 100's of guys chasing after them. So I was wondering if anyone knows anything about this or how they're constructed or am I just reading too much into this?

[crispini]

1. well, I don't know about any 'professional' tests

but I do have a test, especially for first dates. I was in the Peace Corps after I graduated. If I tell a guy this fact, and he gives me a deadpan, "uh-huh," sort of an "I don't really know what to say about that" reaction -- I won't see him again. These are always the DULL guys that don't know how to hold up their end of a conversation, or the too-tightassed guys that think Peace Corps is "weird" or something. Every guy I've ever met that failed "the test" turns out to be a real bore.

To pass the test? All you have to do is say, "Wow, that's really interesting. Where did you go?" Or, what did you do, etc. Basically, just express enthusiasm about it and ask one question. Just one.

and that's my "test" fwiw.....

[sparky_in_ma]

3. I'm taking notes here.

I'm good at tests like that.:D

[crispini]

7. Dude, you'd be surprised at how many guys

fail that test. :eyes: There are, I hate to say it, a lot of dull, incurious (un-curious?) people out there.

Other "tests:"

- Spending the greater percentage of the first date ragging on your ex-wife or girlfriend is not designed to impress.

- ANY boosterism of GWB will be looked at askance.

I have, on the other had, dated redneck tobacco chewin types -- but he was an INTELLIGENT LIBERAL redneck tobacco chewin type. :shrug:

[sparky_in_ma]

11. True

when I was younger I subscribed to COSMO. After sorting through the ads, there were some gems of wisdom. I was an evil sparky. Now I'm reformed.O8)

[crispini]

13. LOL

But we like you better when you're a baaaaaaad Sparky!

[sparky_in_ma]

14. OMG

You would have that smiley.:rofl:

[undeterred]

4. That reminds me of when I was in graduate school and I had a few dates

with men who were not in school, working full time. When I said I was in school I was always hoping for a response like "what are you studying?" and for them to show some real intellectual interest. Instead the question was always "when are you going to be done?"

[crispini]

10. Gawd, yes. Just show some curiosity and willingness to learn

about something outside your own tiny walk of life! The lack of that curious experimental spirit is an ENORMOUS turnoff.

[sam sarrha]

16. I was in Senigal.. 1973, i got culture shock and PTSD so bad from all the

death starvation and suffering.. Islam totally freaked me out. I totally loved the Moors, but Arabs ran slave markets and hated us, we were Satan incarnate and couldnt be within the walls they occupied. i couldnt deal with life here when i got back,.. i lived in the woods in washington for years and never dated, was a hermit.. i was celebate for 14 years when i met the woman again who had introduced me to Buddhism 25 years before.., we are now married.. but i am still totally weirded out about the stratifying of our culture and fascism.. i can see what happened in Africa happening here soon..
it really wouldnt take much to turn it sour.. and the elete will let us starve like dogs too..

[crispini]

18. Wow, you had a much heavier experience than I did.

I went to a village in Thailand. It's still the third world, but by and large, it's nice, stable, relatively OK third world. Plus, Bangkok is basically a modern city, so I'd go there every so often and remind myself what civilization was like. Then, back to the rice fields...

[tjdee]

2. Did she take your money? Because you also know what kind of woman you're

dealing with.

I don't run tests, but maybe I should start--I mean, I'm boyfriendless and your test running gf isn't, LOL.

I think you can tell a lot about someone if you're really paying attention, and that you can see "what kind of guy" you're with by observing--actually pushing it and testing/trying test scenarios is unnecessary, IMO.

I am, though, compiling a list of requirements. I didn't have that before. Maybe that's kind of the same? I mean, if I find out he voted for Bush ever, that's the last time he's anywhere near me.

[LynzM]

5. I agree with this

I never did things like that with anyone I dated... but then, I didn't date people until I knew them at least a little, in general. :shrug: I think it's too much a generalization to say that *all* women do that, but I'm sure plenty do.

[Champ]

9. I didn't mean all women

I brung up this topic with my mom and she never heard of anyone doing this, though she told me she probaly wish she had because she ended up married to someone who didn't appear to be who he really was at first.

[Champ]

6. She did

But I'm afraid the tests may of thrown her off as I was willing to do more for her then I would for most women. I'm hoping for her case she didn't run these "tests" to see how much control she has because I'll be out very quickly when it appears she thinks she can get whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I know the difference between helping someone out and being used. Though to her defense she has done alot for me money wise.

[sam sarrha]

17. you mean like ..Blood...tests....??

[Pale Blue Dot]

8. I'm a guy, but I run tests too.

First test: I check her pulse. I don't date dead people;

Second test: The M&M test. If she eats the green ones, that means she's horny;

Third test: The sex test. If she's a guy, she's not getting past first base.

[Lady President]

12. Yep

Most of my friends and I have little personality tests for dates.

I always mention that my college boyfriend whom I dated for years is African-American. I'm more than a decade out of college, so this can be dropped in without a creepy ex-boyfriend vibe. You would be surprised how many seemingly normal guys still are uncomfortable about inter-racial relationships.

I tell some story about my large circle of gay friends. If a date replies that they don't know anyone gay, then I know to run for the hills. He's either dumb or Bible thumper.

Finally, if a man refers to himself as "daddy" when discussing his pets, that is a good sign.

[tjwash]

15. Isn't a first date always nothing BUT a test?

I swear it's just like a job interview. As you get older, and do them long enough you also get savvy as well. It gets to the point where you can tell in the first five minutes if you are ever going to want to see this person ever again.

[enigmatic]

19. And it's the reason why I despise dating..

I'm so glad I don't have to even think about that anymore..

[Ilsa]

20. I guess I just got lucky, marrying such a nice guy.

I'm too stupid to have thought of giving him a test.

I did consider opening a "check your date" service to investigate boyfriends or girlfriends to see if they were decent people, not being harassed by a crazy person, etc. The reason I thought of it is that I had a date with someone who got me wondering about him. One time he asked me to address some envelopes for him (WTF?) as if he had Parkinsons and couldn't write or something weird like that.

And then there was another date from Canada, and engineer, that I wondered if he was a Soviet spy.

And then there were some self-centered assholes, plus one guy in denial about his sexuality.