I saw a license plate on a Hummer today that is a fine example

[driver8]

of the greedy, pushy American consumer. The license plate read:

MAKE RM

Not only is this piece of shit taking up "More room", but he wants everyone to know just how big and bad he really is.

Fuck you, Hummer Drivers!

[stevedeshazer]

1. fuh2.com

[BrklynLiberal]

27. Just saw the Haiku by Tim is on that site.

[stevedeshazer]

28. Beautiful, isn't it?

:)

[Maddy McCall]

2. I've figured out how to make room.

I park as close as I can to one of those beasts, and then, OOPS, I open my door and leave a small dent, or OOPS, didn't mean to catch the door with the keys in my hand. It's just that the beast was so big I didn't have room to turn around getting out of my car.

Pity.

[NoPasaran]

3. Here's a little poem I collected somewhere

Untitled by Vanilla Bean

Your wallet's fat, your car is rank
Fuck you and your H2!
Each burst of speed costs half a tank
Fuck you and your H2!
At each stop sign and traffic light
Regardless if it's day or night
They'll mutter "asshole" and they're right
Fuck you and your H2!
You can't drive mud, you can't clear rocks
Fuck you and your H2!
With Chevy Tahoe frame and shocks
Fuck you and your H2!
What illness do you suffer from?
Are your aesthetic senses numb?
How does it feel to be so dumb?
Fuck you and your H2!
If I gave you what you deserve
Fuck you and your H2!
I'd cut you off and make you swerve
Fuck you and your H2!
I'd follow you across the land
I'd top your gas tank off with sand
And flip the bird with my free hand
Fuck you and your H2!
It's true you are the Tax-break winner
Fuck you and your H2!
You spent it on 'roo-bars and Spinners
Fuck you and your H2!
Full fifty-grand you can omit,
But what remains to show for it?
A four-point-three-ton pile of shit.
Fuck you and your H2!

Despite my venomous complaint
Fuck you and your H2!
I've got an atom of restraint
Fuck you and your H2!
I hope this point you haven't missed
Your car selection makes me pissed

In spite of that I can resist
Fuck you and your H2!
For 3 or more: the carpool lane
Fuck you and your H2!
But what if you have half a brain?
Fuck you and your H2!
You solo drive each day to work
That's why your friends all joke and smirk
Come Humm on THIS, you fucking jerk!
Fuck you and your H2!

[Arugula Latte]

23. Great poem!

I'm tempted to make some copies and leave a few on windshields!

[BrklynLiberal]

25. Here is the one I carry around and leave somewhere on their Hummer

Haiku by Tim
Hulking black Hummer
Purchased in rank atonement
small peckered driver

[aquaman]

4. Every time I see one of these beasts on the road............

I point my finger at the vehicle and laugh hysterically, versus shooting the bird. The drivers appear a bit perplexed, sometimes angry. There is a Doctor that has one of these beasts where I work, I swear the man can barely get in the damn thing because he is so short. Guess he feels like a "big man" in these wonderful examples of American splendor.

[silverweb]

5. Typical.

I saw one recently at my credit union. I was inside, in line for a good five minutes or more, and when I came out there was this huge black Hummer sitting crossways -- blocking most of the entrance access and completely blocking the adjoining handicapped spot -- with the engine running, yet. You had to walk behind it and get exhaust blown at you to get in or out of the building. There were plenty of other, legal parking spots available, too.

As I was leaving, the guy who had been behind me in line came out and clambered into the passenger side of the Hummer, which then drove off. Rude, selfish, arrogant assholes. I can't imagine any other kind of person who'd even want a Hummer.

[jobycom]

6. C'mon, not everyone who drives a Hummer is like that!

I mean, I've seen commercials where attractive moms with healthy, normal white kids drive them to school and stuff, and look really, really friendly.

I'm sure somewhere in real life there are people like that who drive Hummers... I'm sure of it, Auntie Mae!

[FreedomFry]

7. Right you are! Why, I'll bet God drives a Hummer up in Heaven!

But seriously ... Anyone who has the audacity to actually want, much less buy and drive, a Hummer either has a screw loose, a microscopic penis, or a Napoleon complex. In my book, Hummers = obscenities

And another thing: Have you ever heard the horn on one of those things? It sounds like the blast of a cruise ship leaving port! I was walking down the street one day when one of those things blared, and pedestrians for two blocks around turned their heads to see what in hell that was.

[jobycom]

8. I've heard their horns, believe me

One of my favorite pastimes is passing them in my Prius and pulling in front of them so they can read my Kerry sticker, and my DemocraticUnderground sticker. Oh yeah, I've heard those horns.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. How very smart of you, jobycom! And you have a Prius, too...

Good for you...we got one several months ago, and we love it. Next year I'll hopefully have a Camry hybrid...
I can just see you pulling in front of one of these monstrosities! What a hoot...

[jobycom]

15. A Prius, and an 82 Mercedes diesel

that I bought to convert to veggie oil. I've been slow about doing it, though.

[orleans]

29. oh, you wild child, you!

(that's pretty funny actually--i take it you like to live on the edge)

[silverweb]

10. Auntie Mae!?!?

You obviously don't know me, m'dear!

}(

[evlbstrd]

32. And the kids' classmates are suitably impressed.

The kids are instantly popular, and never picked on.

[xmas74]

21. I used to have a camera phone.

Every single time I saw one of those asses blocking the handicapped slots I took a pic of the vehicle, making sure you could see the plates. Then I called the police. If they hadn't come out yet when the police got there their vehicle was towed and they were ticketed. If they had already left I showed them the pics and then signed a complaint. Then the ticket gets mailed to their home.

Fun either way.

[orleans]

30. ooh. great idea!

[grace0418]

9. MASSIVE- that's the plate on the Hummer in my

parking lot at work. Clever, huh? We share our lot with a hockey rink and I think he either works or plays hockey there. The hilarious and oh-so-typical part is that he's one of those little guys who constantly works out to compensate. Like you won't notice he's little because he's really buff and drives a Hummer. Yeah, dude, that doesn't make you look desperate at all.

One day, he pulled up next to me as I was getting my stuff out of my trunk. As he climbed out I looked at him, looked at his stupid planet-mobile and said in a stage whisper "Wow, I didn't think they made penises that small!" Judging by the word he used, I guess he heard me. Oops!

Have any of you seen those ridiculous Hummer limosines? Those really burn me up, I want to sacrifice my poor litle Civic and ram right into them.

[Chovexani]

14. Fun story about those Hummer limos

I used to work in the East Village here in NYC. One Saturday night a co-worker and I were walking down 8th st. after closing to get to the subway, and when we got to 5th Ave. there was a ginormous Hummer limo sitting at the red light. We rolled our eyes. Then when the light turned, it tried to turn onto 8th St. Now, in case you don't know anything about Manhattan streets (esp. down in that part of the Village), they are fairly narrow.

Hummer limo made it about halfway, then got stuck. Tried to back up back onto 5th, couldn't.

Co-worker and I laughed our asses off. So did everyone else who saw it. That was a real Kodak moment. :evilgrin:

[orleans]

31. i saw one a couple weekends ago

they had a sign attached "just married"

yuck. good luck to their poor children who will end up inheriting parents like those two!

[spindoctor]

11. That's actually funny

The only thing more annoying than Hummers (IMHO one of the top 5 ugliest cars on the road today) are vanity plates.

But hey, if you're going to be an idiot then go all the way. Big bad hummer, Harley Davidson for Sundays to play dress up in designer biking gear. A flock of pink flamingos in your front yard.

These people make me smile. Life wouldn't be complete without them.

I really don't care all that much, but I am all in favor of putting a 50% tax on gasoline. That would be a very Republican way to raise taxes, right? That would make driving a hummer a truly patriotic thing and I would personally step up and thank Hummer drivers for their contributions to the treasure chest every time I meet one at the pump.

[Runcible Spoon]

13. grrrrrr! I actually saw one that read: "15 MPG"

:grr: :mad:

[Jara sang]

16. Men that drive H2s have little penises.

Somebody should do research on that, I'm sure it is the case. ;-)

[aeolian]

17. oooohhh! Where, where?

tell me, tell me! :bounce:

[Jara sang]

18. Not really, i was just kidding

Somebody should do a study though.

[aeolian]

20. awww! That would be a glorious statistic to wield!

One could shine the Emasculating Light of Truth down upon them!

[BrklynLiberal]

26. You are not alone in that belief. I got this off the internet and carry

copies around to leave on parked Hummers.


Haiku by Tim
Hulking black Hummer
Purchased in rank atonement
small peckered driver

[aeolian]

19. A guy at work is thinking of trading in his Ford F250 for an H2

because "the H2 gets about 13 miles to the gallon, my truck only gets 12."

:banghead:

[SnohoDem]

22. Reminds me of a sig line I saw

maybe here on DU?

"Nothing says ASSHOLE like a Hummer"

[BrklynLiberal]

24. Follow him and when he parks use a magic marker to change the

R to a B so it says "MAKE BM"

[orleans]

33. LOL

[evlbstrd]

34. LOL!

:applause: