So, what do you do with *this* kid?

[dolo amber]

Me: "Ruby Juliet McAlister, sit your bum down in that tub this instant!"

Ruby: "Why?"

Me: "Because if you don't, you're going to slip and crack your skull open and die."

Ruby: "But I *WANT* to slip and crack my skull open and die so I can go be with Spiderman and Shark Boy and Lava Girl!!!"

:wtf: :eyes:

(ps - She did however sit down. ;))

[Beware the Beast Man]

1. Didn't you get the memo?

Tub-based skull fractures enable the brain's superpower mechanism. It's documented!

[Magrittes Pipe]

2. I'm a bad influence.

:cry:

[Mutley]

3. Ummm Uhhhh

I have no idea what I would say to that.

[ghostsofgiants]

4. Haha, how the hell did she get the impression that Spiderman, et al...

Live in some kind of afterlife netherworld?

[UncleSepp]

18. Maybe Heaven is where all fantasy creatures live?

[ghostsofgiants]

37. Makes sense

[Heidi]

5. Funny bathing-a-kid story.

A female colleague who is single and childless told me this true account of bathing her goddaughter, who was about 3-4 at the time, bathtub filled with a little menagerie of farm animals.

Adult woman: And what a duck say?

Kid: Quack, quack. Your turn. What a cow say?

Adult: Moo-moo. Your turn. What does a sheep say?

Kid: Baa-baa. Your turn. (Silence.) What does a vagina say?

Adult: A vagina doesn't say anything. It's a vagina, for heavensake.

[CanuckAmok]

9. So "The Vagina Monologues" doesn't mean what I think it means?

hen why the hell did I buy these front-row seats?

[Heidi]

10. This was a really precocious little girl . . .

and she's about 19 now. A real "pistol."

[sundog]

6. hahaha

:rofl:


well, it does make sense on a certain level :P

[Zuni]

7. Shark boy and lava girl are in heaven?!?!

:woohoo:
now I look forward to death! :bounce:

[TBreeze]

8. Buy a Spiderman watch

and pretend that you're receiving secret transmissions from Spiderman through the watch/communicator, and he's always telling you to tell the kids to be good, listen to their parents, eat their veggies, etc. I dunno, that might work for a little while. :think:
Or say, if you crack your skull open, you'll deplete all your spidey-senses. :)

[xmas74]

11. How old?

I hear crap like that nearly every single day from my nearly five year old.

"I want to have the power of a volcano!"

[Magrittes Pipe]

12. She's five.

Don't know if she's familiar with volcanoes yet, but she definitely spends a lot of time telling us all about her powers.

[xmas74]

13. I hear about that same movie day in and day out.

I notice that they are advertising it hot and heavy on all the kids channels. My kid wants to have the power of a volcano and the power of a shark.
Sorry you guys have to hear about it too.

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. Eh, it's fine.

Of course, today she asked her sister where babies come from.... :o

[xmas74]

21. Now that's a fun conversation!

Mine is still convinced about the tummy business (probably because I have a c-section scar). I just don't have the heart (or patience) to correct her right at this moment.

[Magrittes Pipe]

23. Apparently she asked "do babies come from food?"

So yeah.

[xmas74]

32. I wouldn't even know where to begin there.

At that age it's very hard to change their minds on the strangest ideas.

[sundog]

14. Ruby is code name for hedges

:P

[Magrittes Pipe]

16. sundog is code name for...

[sundog]

19. stop trying to drag my name through the mud

go sing some darling nikki lyrics & gyrate around in a frilly shirt or some shit

[Magrittes Pipe]

22. I knew a girl named Sarah Cracknell...

I guess you could say she was a sockpuppet.

[sundog]

24. perhaps she lip synced

:P

hey! how do YOU know so much about Saint Etienne? hmm? huh? :think:

[Magrittes Pipe]

25. allmusic.com

[sundog]

26. sure

:eyes:

[Magrittes Pipe]

27. Is that the phone? I think your boyfriend is calling.

[sundog]

28. bitch

:P

[Magrittes Pipe]

29. Hee.

:hi:

[xmas74]

35. Now that is funny!

How soon will that head get cracked in the tub?

[skygazer]

17. You sound like my mother

She could never tell us not to do something without some dire warning of the ensuing consequences if we didn't.

"Tie your shoe or you'll trip over the laces and break your neck."

"Stop running with those scissors or you'll trip and poke your eye out."

"Chew your food or you'll choke to death."

I still have a phobia about anyone (including myself) touching my belly button because she told me if I played with my belly button, it would come untied and my skin would fall off!

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. I think she picked it up from me.

Driving in the car: "Ruby, stop yelling, or I'll get distracted and crash the car, and we will all die."

[SOteric]

30. Tell her if she wants to be like Spiderman, Shark Boy & Lava Girl

you've got no problem with that.

Especially since they're not real people but rather rich actors.

She could buy you a really nice house. Or a car that costs as much as a really nice house.

But she'll never get to be a rich actor like Spiderman if she falls and breaks her butt, 'cause no one wants to pay money to see a twisted-up, ugly-ass broken butt swinging from a web between skyscrapers.

[Magrittes Pipe]

31. To which she will reply:

"Do you want me to kill your brain?"

[SOteric]

34. And you will respond,

"No need sweetheart, I'm already working on that one cell at a time."

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. My 5 yo is just like that! I have no clue what to do with mine either

[chemenger]

36. Laugh your ass off, maybe!

eom