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This afternoon, something really weird happened.
I'm taking a summer class and at our table of four there's a guy with a laptop, a woman to my left, a woman to my right, and me.
We had just conducted a read around where someone reads something they wrote and gets some constructive criticism. The woman to my right had written a rant about Viagra commercials and how much she hates them (that's important). It was kind of sexual. We gave her some criticism, moved on.
Then we ate lunch and I took out my Go-Gurt. It's yogurt in this long plastic tube. The woman to my right good-naturedly kidded me about it and I defended them as good stuff.
After that, a visiting professor was doing a special presentation. She had just started and I decided to open my Go-Gurt and have it (it's no big deal as long as you aren't busting out an entire picnic or something).
I opened it and pink yogurt splurted out all down my left hand and arm in a thick, long line. The girl to my right immediately went into such spasms of explosive laughter that she clamped one hand over her mouth and half-dove under the table.
At that SAME MOMENT, the woman to my left saw the yogurt sort of....splooge all over my arm and she was biting into a fresh cherry. The way she bit it, part of the cherry and a stream of juice went flying and hit the laptop of the guy at our table. He didn't see any of this happening and his expression in the next second (he had been looking at his laptop) was total WTF?
That made Cherry Woman start to laugh, but the rest of that cherry got SUCKED right into her windpipe when she did that. So she stands up so quickly, she knocks over her chair, starts grabbing frantically at her neck and her eyes are huge. Laptop Covered in Cherry Guy leaps up and does the weirdest Heimlich manuever I've ever seen, and after a few agonizing seconds, the cherry flies out of her mouth and lands on the Viagra commercial rant the woman to my right had written.
By the way, she is ALL the way under the table now, with tears rolling down her face (she wasn't aware of the choking until after).
The professor had obviously stopped, everyone was gathered around, concered and choking cherry woman actually started to laugh again, very weakly. We looked over and found the partially chewed cherry in a big dark stain on the Viagra rant. Girl on my Right decided the whole thing was pretty damn appropriate and started thinking of ways she could add it to her rant.
The professor looked shaken, we tried to regain order and things went on.
But WEIRD.
Moral: Be VERY careful about opening those Go-Gurts. They are dangerous.
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