Who here has never been "in love" as in both ways

[HEyHEY]

I've not experienced it. And quite frankly when I look at those who claim to "have been" in love. I feel alot better about the whole thing.

[jpgray]

1. Even when I'm told the feeling's mutual, I never quite believe it

Our love, of course, is the exception.

:beer:

[HEyHEY]

4. Well, yes

Natch, never believing it is what makes us stronger

[LastKnight]

2. thought i was.

but i was wrong. false alarm... i guess.

[HEyHEY]

7. Okay, what did the minx do? How old are ye?

[LastKnight]

11. she told me she was in love with me...

she actuially was the first one to start talkin like it... all of the 'gonna be together forever shit' and stuff like that... scared me at first, but i wound up liking it... and eventuially feeling the same.

she left me outta nowhere telling me to not blame myself or that she wanted some time alone. whatever the fuck that means.

youre gonna laugh when i say my age... but im 19...

[HEyHEY]

58. Dang, not even old enough to drown your sorrows legally

My heart goes out to you

[Maestro]

3. Both ways?

Totally confused. Is this a Canadian thang?

[HEyHEY]

5. See, now I bet you believe I'm drunk

[Maestro]

8. Absolutely!

No question!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. i have been in love and am in love

and i wouldnt trade it for anything...the good overwhelmingly outweighs the bad

[NoSheep]

10. Yes. I've been in mutual love twice.

Once 11 yrs. we grew up and apart. Now...I'm mutally in love again. it's heaven. Find someone you can respect AND lust after. Amazing stuff.

[friesianrider]

15. Just once.

Once it was me in love and it wasn't....umm...both ways ;) But, I was likely in love with who I *thought* he was. So does that qualify as real love? Who knows.

Mutually in love now. It's amazing. He is my best friend and my love.

[friesianrider]

18. definitely...

every relationship sucks at one time or another. It's all about whether the good times outnumber the bad.

[pdx_prog]

66. well said Lioness....

I agree 100%..

[BikeWriter]

9. Beware of love, my Friend. It has been the ruin of many a good man.

[HEyHEY]

12. No-one who's ever done anything I respect was ever in love!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. everyone who i respect has at somepoint been able and willing to love

[HEyHEY]

16. Willing has nothing to do with it..I'm willing to love

But not uncreative enough to go through with it

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. how is going through with it uncreative?

[HEyHEY]

22. Hey, I don't have adegree, how am I suposed to know that?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

19. Really? But don't you respect me, HEyHEY?

I thought you did...and I am in love with my husband, and he with me. So here we have a bit of a paradox, no?

:(

[HEyHEY]

20. Shhh, it's all part of my image

What are you trying to do to me?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

28. Ohhhhh, I'm so sorry, HEyHEY!

I didn't realize I was blowing your cover...I'll leave quietly now...

[BikeWriter]

21. So, call me a fool if you wish, but I have thought I knew true love...

It lasted for 15 years. When we first got together our Friends were betting which of us would kill the other. The standard bet was on her for a hundred bucks. None of our Friends could believe it when she left.

[tigereye]

54. what about me?

well, I guess I'd have to pm you with details of why I should be respected.

I have been, several times, before I met my husband. I think there is a difference between lust ( or sex and longing desires that seem like love) and real love that grows over time and just gets stronger and more complex. Getting blown away is part of love, but then there are other parts...


I am sure you will experience "love" at some point soon, HeyHey and you will know it when it finds you! :)

[Wapsie B]

14. I haven't been in a love relationship

where I love her and she loves me. It's been me giving my heart away confessing my love and the woman wants to be friends. And this is after we've known each other for some time. Never had a woman I loved love me.

[HEyHEY]

23. You and I need to have a beer then

[Wapsie B]

24. Amen to that bro!

I know there's love out there for us. Just don't know why it should be so hard to find.

:toast:

[HEyHEY]

27. There's where we differ

I'm not sure anymore I want love.
Adventures seem like such a better way to spend time. I mean, wha'ts better? Spending life holding hands? Or living a life of constant adventure.

EDIT: And not properly punctuating a damn thing!

[Wapsie B]

30. I want both.

I want to have adventure and someone I love to share that with. They say it comes when you least expect it. I dunno.

[HEyHEY]

31. The Deluxe model? yowza! n/t

[BikeWriter]

40. Spit out those sour grapes and look go the real thing!

I'm just saying...

[tigereye]

55. y'know

you can have both! ;)

[BikeWriter]

25. I'm sorry, Pard. There's no better feeling while it lasts.

[Wapsie B]

26. That's what they tell me.

But it shouldn't be so hard to find.

[LastKnight]

29. isnt that what makes it so unique?

if you could find it with just anyone, it wouldnt be worth finding, i suppose. its exactly why its great, and why it sucks... ironic, huh.

[Wapsie B]

32. good point.

but to think that there's only one true love out there for everyone just depresses me. out of all the people in the world only one. i don't know if i go for that idea.

[LastKnight]

36. i donno about the idea of 'one'

but maybe a few that would work, some better than others, granted. i think its more a spectrum of compatability rather than a black and white 'match'. who knows. if i did... i certianally wouldnt be up with heartbreak induced insomnia.

damn these mysteries of the universe... they suck.

-LK

[BikeWriter]

45. Each of my three marriages has averaged ten years. The shrinks...

tell me that's better than average for a vet with PTSD. Love is a more intense trip than any drug, or it has been for me.

[BikeWriter]

33. "Life's a bitch, then you die." My first wife, 1981

She was right.

[Wapsie B]

35. I'm sorry you had to lose her.

But at least you had that bond with each other.

[BikeWriter]

37. We still do. She tells me she'll always love me, unfortunately...

That won't keep you warm on a cold night. :(

[sakabatou]

34. I have only been in one-ways only

I think there may have been two or more that were more than one-way.

[BikeWriter]

38. You have my best wishes on finding the real thing, Pard.

[HEyHEY]

39. Had you KNOWN it was two-ways, would your art be any good?

Doubt it

[sakabatou]

41. Wait, what?

Would my heart/life be better? Possibly.

Out of the many girls that I know of, here's what happens
1. moves away
2. says they're in love with me the first day, and the second day they find someone better
3. says they're in love with me the first day, and then they call back later saying they hate me for not calling them back. (Well gee, I never got your phone number... :grr:)
4. I move away
5. Too late to say I love them
6. Very long time since met
6a. They now hate me
6b. Have forgotten me

Ain't that just dandy? :sarcasm:

[HEyHEY]

42. If it all went well, what's the point of living?

You may as well die, cause if that dumb smile people have on their face during "love' last 50 years..... you'd think the boredom would be enough to drive one to end it all.

[sakabatou]

44. Aren't you full of life...

It'd be nice, even if it didn't last long.

[tigereye]

56. uh it doesn't have to be boring....

[LastKnight]

43. dont feel bad...

i think they have a playbook written down somewhere, cause my list is pretty much the same... that or its instinct for them. who knows... but they all use the same tricks... i think.

[leftofthedial]

46. "I don't' believe in love anymore

Lately the whole thing is such a godawful bore"

I think "love" begins as a rationalization of something much more basic and relatively uncomplicated.

then, primates that we are, we build an increasingly elaborate set of "beliefs" and mutual agreements around this simple thing, making it ever more complex (and thus ever more prone to failure).

I think "love" is just a delusion.

[BikeWriter]

47. "Love" is not a delusion, but a biological necessity for survival...

of the species. The primal, or primary reason for "love" in nature is to keep the couple together long enough to successfully procreate and raise offspring. As society has evolved to artificially protect those children we see an increase in complications in those relationships.

[leftofthedial]

50. see what I mean?

[BikeWriter]

57. Defying Homo Sapien's nature will get you nowhere.

We're supposed to fall in love. :shrug:

[DIKB]

48. I'm beginning to think your way

It's disheartening having your heart stomped on time and again, thinking you've found love and only finding that the person who you make yourself most vulnerable to is lying. She talks of forever, of children and marriage, yet she lies with another.

Falling time and again for women who only want you as a friend, so they can complain about guys who never truly care for them, and tell you time and again how you deserve someone great. Do women realize how much of a mind-fuck this is ? Do they enjoy torturing us ?

Given that and the current state of politics, it's enough to think you're in hell. Literally. We are being tormented and tortured, hope is dangled before us, and dashed to the rocks the next moment. We are given paradise, and find it was all an illusion. Leaving us even emptier and more desolate than before.

It's enough to make one say, "Come. Embrace me. Death, Sweet Death."

[ET Awful]

49. I thought so, she said so, talked me into moving 3,000 miles for it

then decide she wasn't while the move was in progress.

I'm no longer convinced.

[BikeWriter]

67. She got cold feet, did she? That really sucks. :-(

[ET Awful]

72. It wasn't her feet that got cold, it was her heart. n/t

[BikeWriter]

73. Sorry to hear that, Pard. I've been there...

Nothing but heartaches to show for it.

[GOPisEvil]

51. I can't say that I have.

:shrug:

[Trigger Hippie]

52. I've never experienced it either.

And I agree, some people who claim to be in love like that are kinda f*ucked up.

:hi:

[SarahB]

53. Yes.

I loved one person before I was married who loved me back, but we were just too young to go anywhere. I had two others say they loved me, but I couldn't say it back (because I didn't feel it back I suppose). I did loved my ex-husband for many years. I know he loved me back. I thought I was in love with someone else, but his words never matched his actions, so I have had to slowly let go for my own self-protection. I am open to love again as long as I am treated well and can be independent and be myself in the process. It makes the world go round. :)

[Lavender Brown]

59. Never

And I'm ok with that, for now.

[last_texas_dem]

60. Maybe once

I know that I loved (in some ways, still do, two years later...) her and I was certain that she loved me. By the end I realized I knew her less than I thought I did right after we had started going out. She claimed she really had loved me, but the way I define love she couldn't have "stopped" so easily if she had truly loved me. We still discuss this every once in a while and can never agree on it...

And it probably doesn't matter anyway, because if love is only as strong as the "love" she felt for me than I'd rather not be a part of it anyway. Which is easy for me, because I've gotten so out of the loop now I'm not sure that I'll ever find someone else to help me get over having my heart broken the first time.

[supernova]

61. No, can't say that I have

been in love with someone who loved me back.

I understand it's a nice feeling. :shrug:

Mostly what I get are people who want to use others for their own selfish reasons.

Well, that and unfortunately only being able to admire someone from a distance. I get infatuated with people who aren't interested in me.

So, more recently, I've stopped the whole business altogether. I don't need the anxiety.

[billyskank]

62. What's the other way?

?

[SarahB]

64. That's how I see it.

If it's one sided, it's not really love, but just a crush. Love is reciprocal, mutual, and developed.

[sundog]

63. yes, once

ok... i'm getting sad now

[u4ic]

65. Yes

I don't know if I'll ever love anyone as much - we were together for 6 years, lived together for 5, but we couldn't work it out. We're still great friends, but it's...heartbreaking that we just couldn't be anymore. :cry:

However - I'm still glad for it. I changed, much for the better, from that relationship.

[tjwmason]

68. Not really.

It seems to be one of those things which is simultaneously horridly gut-wrenching and wonderfully fulfilling.

If the real thing is much stronger than a couple of the more extreme crushes I've had - then golly that's pretty damn strong.

[TK421]

69. I don't believe in it, and it seems highly overrated

[Left Is Write]

70. Sure.

I married the guy.

[peacebuzzard]

71. Don't think so. Not w/ a human being variety.

Maybe possessed, infatuated, misdirected, misinformed, ignorant but, "in love"? No.