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CATS! How much patience is one expected to have with them?

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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:43 PM
Original message
Poll question: CATS! How much patience is one expected to have with them?
Mama cat found her way into my home through a broken window in a bedroom I don't use. I found the three kittens a couple of weeks ago and trapped her.
No no-kill shelter nearby would accept them so against my better judgement I decided to try to keep them until I could find homes. I bought food, flea spray, kitty litter, and bombs for the fleas my home is now infested with.
I'd been reluctant to trust her though she seemed calm enough. Today I decided I had to find out sometime if I could handle her, if I could get a collar on her I could let her out of the cage to clean it more easily.
One bitten thumb and two clawed and bitten arms later... Yes, she kicked my bad ass! I wasn't using deadly force, but she was! Conclusion: Mama Cat only acts like a calm cat until she can reach meat. I'm sitting here bleeding and losing my patience with her. Your opinion?
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. she just dropped a litter
how would you feel

let her out of the cage and let her set up shop with the little ones

she'll come around
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:49 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. Hell, if I let her out she may kill me!
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'm having a drink of some painkiller. Ain't never a horse that couldn't..
Edited on Thu Jun-16-05 04:48 PM by BikeWriter
be rode, nor a cowboy that couldn't be throwed! I think I can collar that cat before she kills me!
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kerry-is-my-prez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
3. Let her come to you. I had a cat that was worse who now cuddles w/us.
This cat bit me AND was acting like something out of the exorcist. It took several months.

YOu have to let them come up to you in their own time.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:50 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. That's easy for you to say, I'm still bleeding.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
4. Don't try to put a collar on her
Can she get out of the cage?

Cats have to get used to a place, and have to adjust on their own terms. I've moved with cats before, and I had one that wouldn't come out of a corner of his new bathroom for two weeks, not even to eat. I put his food and litter in the bathroom. If this one is wild it will take longer.

Never try to go to a cat, let the cat come to you until he or she has become familiar. Sit in the same room with her, feed her, talk to her, but don't crowd her. Let her come to like you.

As for collars, i wouldn't be able to get a collar on my oldest cat with two medics and a straight jacket.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. A straight jacket? For me or her?
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. BW, Can I Tell You A Cat Secret? How To Befriend A Cat? Even A Feral One
sit at a distance and don't look directly at their face.

Occassionally blink at them.

You'll notice after a while they will give you the cat blink.

It's like a cat saying "i'm cool where i am and you're cool where you are".

Honestly, i am not making this up.
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. it took my little one nearly 6 months to be comfortable with me
and even now she's still a little skittish at times

she was feral and she was fostered for a few months before I adopted her

but she'll head butt me when she wants her nightly kitty massage and give me love bites

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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. This Mama Cat's "love bites" are damned vicious!
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:29 AM
Response to Reply #11
67. have you tried sitting down over coffee and trying to talk it out
maybe some nice biscotti

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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #67
70. Uh, I don't do coffee. I'm not sure if she does. :-)
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:53 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. She was cool hanging off my arm and my thumb, too!
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. In a book
I read a long time ago called "The Fur Person" by May Sarton, the blink was known as a cat kiss. It's the way they kiss you.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. She got me over here, and over there, and all over more than...
any place else... ;(
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:47 PM
Response to Reply #18
29. Aaaaah
Maybe try not being so forward. She's a wild cat and a female too. There are rules, you know. Get well soon. :D
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:00 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. I'm studying on whether I need a transfusion, and maybe...
a hundred or so stitches.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:18 PM
Response to Reply #32
35. Wow, you must have
pissed her off, royally.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #35
38. She didn't seem amused by my efforts, but I was smiling real friendly...
until she started chewing on my arm.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #38
42. Did you talk baby talk to her?
Sometimes they respond to that.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #42
43. The baby talk stopped once she began making hamburger...
of my forearms and fingers.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #43
47. LOL, Well,
maybe, try try again.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #47
49. Yes'm, I still have a few fingers left. I'll poke them in there and see...
if she wants leftovers.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #49
52. Hahaha
Edited on Thu Jun-16-05 07:10 PM by Jamastiene
LOL :rofl:

I hadn't thought of it that way. I don't know what else to recommend except wait and try again when you heal.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #52
55. If I go ahead and feed her the rest of them now my prosthetics...
may be fitted sooner. :(
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #55
57. Awww.
Yeah, I'd wait. So you can have the rest of your fingers in working condition.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #57
61. Do you think I'll be able to play the piano when they heal?
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #6
39. Yes. "The Squint" as we call it works wonders.
I have many "squint" conversations with my kitties.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #39
41. Is that anything like the horse whisperers? :-)
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #41
46. I told my husband the other day that I wanted to be a cat whisperer.
That's my life's ambition -- to be as one with the kitties. :D
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #46
50. It might work with cats. I don't think it works with horses.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #41
48. Yes.
It's THE best way to kiss a cat.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #48
51. Pardon me if I don't smooch them right now...
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #51
53. LOL
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:20 PM
Response to Reply #53
56. I'm getting tired. I wonder if it's blood loss?
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:24 PM
Response to Reply #56
60. Awww.
Edited on Thu Jun-16-05 07:27 PM by Jamastiene
Maybe, you need to rest. Drink some juice and eat a chocolate chip cookie. That's what the nurses give you when you give blood.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:34 PM
Response to Reply #60
62. Good idea. I'll drink some whisky.
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #6
54. I'll back you 100% on this, cryingshame...
Sharing a blink is an excellent thing to do in befriending a cat. Turning your head to the side slowly every now and then is cool, too: "I am not a threat to you - in fact, let's both just hang out together."

:thumbsup:
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:56 PM
Response to Original message
12. She is protecting her babies from a stranger. Let her come to you.
Edited on Thu Jun-16-05 04:59 PM by BrklynLiberal
Don't approach her again. Hold some food in your open hand and let her come to you. Be very gentle and slow in your movements. Let her initiate. I think the collr idea should be dropped. It is not necessary.

Let her just worry abou her kittens for now. Leave her water and food, and just hang out at a distance. Let her get used to your presence and decide when she wants to be your friend.

EDIT: You don't know what abuse she may have had to endure at the hands of a human in the past.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. You don't know the abuse I've endured, either. She is treading...
in dangerous waters here. She picked the wrong inn. :(
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 04:57 PM
Response to Original message
13. Wait a minute here.
You tried to put a collar on a feral cat???? Nah, not happening.

The best thing to do is slowly, yes, very slowly, tame her. You have to teach her that you are not going to try to harm her. She has no way of knowing. See, wild cats have probably had things thrown at them, been yelled at a lot, and been teased by mean people. You have to make friends first.

If you met a person and then tried to handle them not long afterwards, how do you think that would work? See, just have enough patience and think and you might end up with a great pet or something if you want to.

Feed her and sit down and talk to her when you take the food in to her for at least 2 weeks straight, maybe longer. Also, just go in the room and sit on the floor and talk to her. Let her decide when she wants to be friendly with you. Offer her treats by hand when she starts to calm down a bit. If she doesn't take them out of your hand or at least get close enough to smell them, just try for about 5 minutes and then lay the treat down close as you can get to her and sit beside it. Eventually you'll see her start to warm up to you, unless she just doesn't plan on being tamed, which is the case sometimes. Some cats never get completely tame, btw.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Well, uh, you see I didn't know how wild she was. A pint of blood later...
I do!
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #16
27. LOL
That's priceless. I guess you learned the hard way. Sorry to hear that. Maybe you'll find a way that won't hurt either of you.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:50 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. I used to tangle with most anything that looked at me funny, but...
the last few years I've been mellowing out. This critter hasn't been collared yet, but I'm not dead yet either.
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MadHound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
14. Two words friend, welder's gloves
If you're going to try handling a feral cat, welder's gloves are the ticket. They go halfway up your arm so that is protected, and allows free movement. This, combined with love, patience and food will go along way to taming a feral. Good luck, have fun.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #14
19. Oh, this has been the most fun I've had since I was up in a tree with...
a raccoon! I'm not as young and fast as I was then, either.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #19
28. LOL
Why, pray tell, were you up a tree with a raccoon??? I'm surprised you're still with us if this is a sort of pattern with you, that you find yourself face to face with wild animals a lot.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #28
33. Oh, you haven't heard about the wolverine, yet! I have led...
a wild and sometimes exciting life.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. Wolverine????
Are you serious??? What happened there?
:rofl:

Well, I have to take my hat of to you for courage. I wouldnt' even try that. I am worse than that kid from "Swiss Family Robinson" following along behind any animal I meet saying "Come here little fella, I won't hurt you." I'm pretty good at taming them too, but mostly have stuck to cats and dogs and a fox and a rabbit through the years.

BTW, you should be honored that she brought her kittens to you. You must have something she can sense that makes her basically trust you somewhat.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:20 PM
Response to Reply #34
36. The wolverine episode wasn't funny. Those things have been known...
to attack and kill grizzlies. This one copped an attitude and dove off a mountain after me and my dogs. The dogs immediately left town for a week's vacation. The wolverine lost.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. Wow.
Sounds like you won, I take it. The dogs took off though? For real?
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:28 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. The dogs didn't come back for almost a week. They were...
sled dogs out of Indian stock. They know about wolverines.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:40 PM
Response to Reply #40
44. Wow
I've never heard of dogs fleeing like that. Wolverines are really ferocious, huh?
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 06:45 PM
Response to Reply #44
45. Wolverines have beed described as the fiercest creature on earth...
I'd say they're almost as dangerous as a human Mama afraid for her child.
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Lauri16 Donating Member (509 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:17 PM
Response to Original message
20. We adopted a feral cat
from the local shelter. She's really a very loveable cat. It took them over 3 years to get her that way. We'll probably never be able to pick her up, but when we sit on the couch, she jumps right up and wants her belly rubbed. It takes time. The only interaction your Mama cat probably had with people was negative. Kudos to you for keeping her! :toast:
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Well, I haven't had her but two weeks. This reminds me of marriage...
...and I'm considering a divorce! :(
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man4allcats Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:21 PM
Response to Original message
21. I got my old black alley cat under similar circumstances.
I didn't have to go through the break-in period that you're experiencing because I got this formerly wild cat from my sister who had taken her in from the wild. The story in that rural neighborhood about this particular cat was that she was originally owned as a young cat by some mean people who mistreated her. Eventually she could take it no more and ran off into the countryside and lived wild. My sister first noticed her after this cat had given birth to a litter. She thought the cat looked hungry and worn down so she would leave food out for her. Of course the cat would never approach her, but she would take the food when she thought it was safe. After some months, my sister was finally able to adopt this cat. She kept her until she decided to move out of state and asked me if I would take her because she didn't want to bring her on the long trip. That is how I came to own this cat. She is getting old now and has lived with me for eight or nine years. The vet estimated she was about four when I got her, so now she is about twelve or thirteen. Though I have always treated her very well, to this day she is still a nervous animal and will run and hide if anyone other than myself enters the house. I lost my senior cat in January to a brain tumor. I think it was almost as hard for Myra (my surviving cat) as it was and, to some extent, still is for me. Now it is just the two of us and though she is and will always be a bit spooky, she is a good old cat. The point of all this is that if you have the patience to deal with her now, you may someday have a really good friend. Best of luck. :-)
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:30 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Well, you see that's a problem. I live alone because I have PTSD...
and depression. My family comes around to see how I am, but they don't try to push me into anything and they generally leave me alone. This cat was an intruder here, and I've already gone out of my way. I'm none too sure we're going to get along now. :(
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Lauri16 Donating Member (509 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. Sorry to hear that, BW
:hug:

You never know, in the end you could both help each other. :shrug:
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. That may be easier to imagine once these bites and scratches...
quit hurting.
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man4allcats Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #24
59. Well, that was how things worked out for me, but
each case is unique. Things may be different for you since as you say, you have other issues to consider. In any case, if you don't feel it will work you might want to check out a PetSmart store if there is one in your neighborhood and you haven't already tried them. In addition to selling pet care products, they also provide complete veterinary and adoption services. I'm not sure whether they would take a mother cat with kittens, but it might be worth a shot. I was very impressed with their professionalism and sensitivity not only toward my cat Widget during her treatment prior to her death but also toward me when there was no more to be done except to be humane and end it. You can check out their site by clicking PetSmart. Click StoreLocator to see if there is a location near you. I hope this helps. I don't even know, for those who may be wondering, whether they are a blue or a red business, but they did well by me and my pet. Take care.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #59
64. Okay, thanks for your suggestions.
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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:25 PM
Response to Original message
23. First of all this cat could have been tame once and become semi-feral
SHe was probably trying to protect her kittens, so give her a break, okay? Ferals can be tamed. I have done it. The kittens need to be handled so they get accustomed to humans and then they can be adopted out.

How small is the cage they are in? Usually a nice large cardboard box about a foot high and two feet wide and long should do nicely. Then momma can step away from her kittens when she wants. Why are they in a cage? I know I would try to knock someone's block off if they caged me. See where I am coming from?

Please get on a waiting list for the kittens and momma at the no-kill shelters. Start over and tTell them you found kitties without saying they are ferals. The kittens need to be worked with so they get to know humans.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. I've already called the no-kill shelter here. They said no way...
I've been getting the kittens out and petting them. I don't want to see them feral or to have them dead. I'll give them to Animal Control before conditions here get bad though. :(
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
58. This sounds ridiculous, but can you engage her in play?
You know, the usual -- drag a string along the floor, or whatever. Play is the ultimate stressbuster for cats, and it helps immensely in the socialization process.

If this is possible, try to engage her in this way for a 20-minute session. Run the string under some newspapers on the floor to make the game even more interesting for her. Let her catch the string every now and then, and chew on it, as boring as that is for you. Talk to her gently as you go through this process.

If you have the time, try this twice a day. I'd like to guarantee that you'll see a difference in her attitude and behavior, but you never know with ferals. However, bonding during play greatly increases your chances of getting her past her distrust and fear.

Thanks, BikeWriter, for taking her in, even though it's been a hassle for you. :thumbsup:
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 08:07 PM
Response to Reply #58
66. We've already engaged in a rousing game of tug of war...
My thumb and index finger amused her greatly, then we tried the same with my arms. I was juggling her quite handily by that time.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
63. Bikewriter, make sure you clean those wounds really well,
so you don't get any nasty infections. Some scratches can be pretty deep. I just read in the paper tonight about a woman having to be stitched up after rescuing her cat from a house fire. Luckily, the fireman saved her other cats...the poor woman would have been shredded completely if she'd attempted the others too.

I'd give your feral kitty more time. It takes quite a while for them to learn to trust. Just show her gentleness and love and soft talk.
After all, you have been honored..she chose your home to have her babies.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-16-05 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #63
65. I'm considering this more curse than honor right now...
But thanks for the suggestions.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
68. Good news. No infection in the cat bites and scratches as yet.
I'm not very worried about rabies. I've had them longer than the incubation period.
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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
69. I would leave her out of the cage
and see if you can build some trust with her.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #69
71. Hmm, I was afraid of her trying to escape by destroying sheetrock...
I've never contained a wild one. Hell, she may attack now. :(
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