Things to Say to Recruiters When They Call for Your Kids

[mondo joe]

"I'd be glad to get my son. I don't mind saying my period has been kind of weird ever since I gave birth to him. Sometimes it's heavy, sometimes it's light - and right now is really one of those heavy days. Sometimes..."

[clydefrand]

1. I'll wait until the president's daughters go into combat and then

I'll think about your having access to my children.

[mondo joe]

2. My son is in his bedroom listening to Barbra Streisand CDs and

ironing his jeans. Hold on - I'll get him."

[Blue-Jay]

7. *snarf*

[jmm]

3. Why waste your time with my child when

I'm sure you'd have better luck calling the local young Republican clubs and pro-war protesters. I'm sure they're dying (pun intended) to enlist.

[Deep13]

4. "You will have to wait a few minutes. ...

... it takes a while to get around in a wheelchair."

[ismnotwasm]

5. He's not home right now

Do you mind posting bail?

[Deep13]

6. brilliant

[Cannikin]

9. lol!

[Enraged_Ape]

8. He's upstairs with his boyfriend tripping on windowpane acid

Can you call back later?

[Cannikin]

10. I really would love to hear a response to that

[Deep13]

11. Just as soon as he is done praying to Allah.

[mondo joe]

13. "Ali, put down your prayer beads and come get the phone!"

[Shoeempress]

12. Why, have all the Republicans already enlisted?

[micrometer_50]

14. He's in prison right now,

can I have him call you back in 3 to 5 years?

[Deep13]

18. for murdering authority figures.

"He'll be fine in the army as long as no one tries to tell him what to do."

[micrometer_50]

20. actually,

he's in for armed burgulary.

:cry:

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

15. "I'll have him call you back after his date with Marcus"

nt

[Deep13]

16. "Why? Our mission has already been accomplished."

[radwriter0555]

"Hi, I'm Joey's home visitation physical therapist..."

*cough*

[Heidi]

17. "No thanks, I'm planning to kill him/her myself without

government assistance. But hey, thanks for the offer!"

[Midlodemocrat]

19. LOL. That is very funny!

[Heidi]

22. It's all kind of fuzzy now . . .

but I have what seems like a memory of my mother saying that very thing to a recruiter who called our house in 1980. :rofl:

[WeRQ4U]

21. "I'd rather help my son pay student loans than let you kill him." OR...

"The family is planning a trip overseas this summer anyway. And this way, we won't get shot at."

[Kraklen]

23. I'll have him give you a call as soon as he gets back from the

bathhouse. He loves men in uniform.

[Cannikin]

24. I'm loving these

[madinmaryland]

25. Uhh, he has other priorities for the next several years,

but he supports the war!
:evilgrin:

[Deep13]

26. You can talk to him when I am done changing the filter for his iron lung.

[Liberalynn]

27. It Will Take Him a few minutes

he just got a new pair of six inch heels and he's had trouble getting around in them.

or

"Now son put down that knife, Mommy didn't mean to eat the last Ding Dong."

[JohnKleeb]

28. sure heres a good one

Yeah I'll have him call you back but him and his boyfriends are looking for a place in Dupont Circle to live.

[Deep13]

29. "What are you wearing?"

[mondo joe]

30. "It might take him a minute - he's breaking in his new stilettos

and the phone is clear across the living room."

[Deep13]

31. He's returned to Saturn to report to our galactic commander.