Let's start our own religion: "DUology" What are the tenets we believe in

[LynneSin]

If L. Ron Hubbard can make up a religion and get thousands of suckers, I mean followers to ante up big bucks to join, then why can't we start our own religion and make money off of the stupid, I mean believers!

So if we create our own cult, I mean religion, what are the tenets of our belief system.

Personally, I think you need to get to DUIII until you learn the secret as to why sniffa types with all capital "L"s

[Hugin]

1. It's a must to have outrageous headgear!

The stuff of any self respecting religion.

[Hugin]

5. And a holiday... With gift exchanges and delicious dishes!

In the past I've suggested we take over Labor day.

Oh, what a day. The monkey themed ornaments draped
with care over the coconut palm. What is that I smell? Banana
cream pie on the window sill!

[LynneSin]

7. We've already picked out the hat - here's one

[Hugin]

10. I love it!

This is going to be such a cool religion!

Do the sun glasses mean anything?

[LynneSin]

11. He's one of the leaders of our religion

you don't get the cheesy sunglasses until you reach like DUVI

[Hugin]

15. What about cheesy mustaches?

Facial hair plays a large role in many belief systems.

I have a full cheesy beard.

I've also heard Tom Cruise has some kind of a beard...
Don't know what they're talking about.

[Jokerman]

2. Vote republican, go straight to hell.

Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

[WhollyHeretic]

3. I'm pretty new here but I'm sure there will have to be something about

cats and pictures of them in the belief system. :)

[nickinSTL]

4. the god of the religion should be portrayed as a cat

not that the god actually IS a cat, necessarily, just use a cat as a visual representation.

Worship cats! :evilgrin:

[Hugin]

6. It's been done... Pesky Egyptians!

However, any good religion borrows from others.

[LynneSin]

9. We believe that cats came from Aliens from far away...

..and that we all evolved from the cats. Somehow a volcano is involved with all of this. But think about it - we have opposable thumbs and therefore can do things that cats can't be bothered doing. Hence we were evolved in order to serve and worship cats from Xenu

Or shit like that

[Hugin]

12. Hump day is sacred to us.

Lots of built in symbolism there.

[nickinSTL]

13. ah, yes..not just worship cats..

but serve them...

won't be anything new for the cat 'owners' among us, eh?

[WhollyHeretic]

16. Sounds reasonable but

we need to keep that sort of stuff quiet so we can charge people for it.

[MissMillie]

8. Long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days....

oops... I think I saw that in a movie somewhere.

[WeRQ4U]

14. We'd have to outlaw Astroturf and the Designated Hitter then too...

LOL.

[In_The_Wind]

17. are those the making-up type of kisses

... whatever ... it should be part of the DU tenets ... yes hugs and kisses!

[JohnKleeb]

18. ha check your PM

or should I PM you again?

[LynneSin]

No, I got your PM

Be prepared to advance to the next tier. YOu'll need to bring $100k... I mean a sacrifice to the gods to advance to that level

[JohnKleeb]

26. Oh ok

Get back to me, this sounds great. Hey I dont have 100K.

[GOPisEvil]

19. Porta-potties are for everyone to use!

[Parche]

20. duology

"Let us spray"

Forgive us father, for we have "Lynnsinned"

Who is our DU spirtual leader?

[MissMillie]

22. Mr. Peebles, of course

[WhollyHeretic]

21. Thou shalt not follow false presidents

[fob]

23. DUIII? There's no way I'll ever get past DUI.

:toast:
:beer:
Upside is then DU can apply for some of that "faith-based" funding!

[KG]

24. naked initiation ceremonies!

:)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

25. That Crazy Guggenheim is God.

[Midlodemocrat]

27. We will need a theme song with lots and lots of cowbell.

[LynneSin]

28. That's easy: Don't Fear the Reaper

WE are all not afraid as DUologists!

[LastKnight]

34. but we MUST beware the beastman.

as per his instructions, even though hes a nice guy.

[Hugin]

29. Religious kick.

For the righteous!

[KamaAina]

30. We believe in the malevolent power of the Devil...

and his name is not called Satan, but Bush**.

[RedCloud]

31. let's give out chocolate dinosaurs during the springing of the year.

At the end of the year, say, six days before its end, we can bring back SATURNALIA!

And to scare the kinds into believing: the fear of falling into a black hole!

Ten Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not placeth flags before me!
2. Thou shalt not killeth, goeth to war, undeclared war or harmeth others in any way.
3. Thou shalt not coveteth thy neighbor's family member, regardless of how horny you are!
4. Thou shalt not starteth sex threads in the forum.
5. Thou shalt knoweth every day that I am your extremely liberal deity who thoroughly detests muddle headed conservatives.
6. Thou shalt enjoyeth as many times as possible thy body which I have provideth for thee.
7. Thou shalt not knoweth that these words are plagiarized from Hammurabi's Code.
8. Thou shalt loveth all life on this planet and planets yet to be known.
9. Thou shalt not helpeth the Klingon Empire.
10. Thou shalt worshipeth me only when thou feels thy need to, not when someone commandeth thee for I am extremely busy.

[SarahB]

32. We will all worship an idol that looks like this:

:P

[Shell Beau]

33. Can I be the Idol everyone worships?

:evilgrin:

[ZombieNixon]

35. Our sacred temple is known as "The Circular Firing Squad"

No one knows exactly where it is, save that it dwells somewhere in the hellish depths of GD. It is every DUologists sacred duty to try and locate The Circular Firing Squad. If you traverse the GD trials unscathed, you find yourself at the foot of the Cat-God's temple, as cat-headed men advance on you, pointing guns at each other and arguing unceasingly. At this point you advance immediately to DU-infinity.