Food TV: "Barefoot Contessa" Show Can/Should Teach Us ALL Something

[matcom]

first. taking her cue, i have renamed Mrs Matcom. she will now be known as "Barefoot Mrs Matcom"

second. on today's show, Barefoot made a brisket for her hubby, Jeffery, as well as an appetizer, salad and home made desert.

he came home and asked if he could do anything and Barefoot told him, "No, Jeffery, why don't you go and relax and i'll finish cooking. I'll let you know when its time to eat."

so, off Jeffery scampers, most likely to pour a nice scotch, and catch up on the sports scores.

this practice is OBVIOUSLY a healthy one and should be adopted, EVERY day, by ALL households.

i'm informing Mrs Matcom, errr sorry, Barefoot Mrs Matcom, that we are starting this practice on Monday.

thank you for your support :D

:hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Good luck with that.

Let us know which hospital you end up in so we can send flowers.

[matcom]

3. .

:rofl:

[China_cat]

15. I was going to ask which mortuary would handle the funeral.

[madrchsod]

2. good luck

and duck.....

[GOPisEvil]

4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nice try. :)

[matcom]

6. i suspect when i tell her, she will give me a footrub and...

then we will have "admiration" sex.

[GOPisEvil]

7. Yeah, I can picture the look of "admiration" you're going to get.

My advice: wear asbestos.

[BR_Parkway]

9. Admiration sex = "F*ck off'?

[Misunderestimator]

5. Mmm hmmm.... I bet you have an apron on right now!

:rofl:

[BR_Parkway]

8. LBN: Matcom chokes on brisket - Ms Matcom questioned, then

released. Tune in tonight at 5, 5:30, 6 & 7 for details. Don't miss our exlusive, in depth report at 8 on Why Choking on Brisket is God's Will hosted by Bill O'Reilly and special guest the Most Righteous Rev Pat Robinson.

Stay tuned later for our ultra, ultra, ultra special report with guest host Ann Coulter and the Radical Clerics Holy Blessed Theological Scholars Falwell & Dobson - "Brisket is NOT a family value and one more part of the agenda to make your children gay so they can't support you in your old age, requiring you to rely on Social Security that those damn Obstructionist Democrats are still obstructing. The Socialist plot behind the infamous Gay Agenda". For those of you unable to stay tuned to FAUX, we'll repeat this special every 2 hours until Nov 2006 beginning Monday morning at 8 am.

We now interupt with this breaking development that a WHITE WOMAN was abducted from her church bake sale.....stand by.....she what?....Brown woman?......

We now return you to the 874th consecutive showing of our Glorious God Appointed and Annointed Leaders Father the War Hero Pilot movie already in progress

[matcom]

10. LOL

:rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. It's the Biblical choice

[matcom]

12. that's what i'm sayin'!

[sasquatch]

13. Did you take away her shoes as well

:shrug:

[matcom]

14. no.

she'll need those when she has to take out the garbage

[graywarrior]

16. You'll need a special room for her on those "unclean" days

[matcom]

17. not a bad idea

when i tell her, i'll have to attribute that to you. thanks.

[graywarrior]

19. No problem. Mr. graywarrior always retreats to the silent room

during unclean days.

[skygazer]

18. We follow those precepts in my house

With a slight twist. When I get home from work after a hard day, hubby has my lounging attire laid out on the bed. The house is clean, the dishes done and dinner is bubbling on the stove. Hubby is always willing to mix me a lovely drink and I retire to the living room to sip and meditate on the goodness of life.

At six, we eat dinner, served by hubby while I prowl around sneaking bites. Afterwards, he clears the dishes, fetches my pipe and asks me if I need another drink. Since I go to bed early (I go to work at 4 am) he turns down the bed for me, makes sure I have my breakfast laid out so I don't have to fuss around in the morning, and tucks me in.

He also does all the shopping, takes out the garbage, does home repair, keeps my work clothes (and all other laundry) clean and does basic auto maintenance.

[matcom]

20. this is NOT what i had in mind!

x(

[Lex]

21. I can NOT figure out why that beautiful Barefoot Contessa

gushes and fawns over that shlub Jeffrey.

It's icky.

Everytime I watch that show, she's obsessing about her husband. Is she afraid he will leave her or something? :shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. And I bet she's never even heard of Chirizo

[matcom]

24. you mean Kilbassa?

mmmmmmmm THEMS Good Eats!

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Yeah, whatever. Same thing.

I call it Chorizo, you call it Kielbasa. Whatevah. I do what I want.

[matcom]

26. fucking French, cheese-eating, surrender-monkey

:grr:

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. whatevah

[Arugula Latte]

23. See, I think the Barefoot Contessa is actually trying to kill Jeffrey

Did you ever notice what kind of food she makes? My god, all the recipes start out like this: throw three sticks of butter and two bricks of cream cheese in a bowl, mix with a quart of heavy cream and add five cups of sugar.

Cloggin' the ol' arteries. It'll work, but it won't stand up in court. Ina's sneaky, see, and crazy like a fox.

Watch out, Matcom. Watch the hell out.

[Mrs.Matcom]

28. Snort!

What is so sad is that I am the one that comes home and sit my butt on the couch and asks "hey, beotch, what's for dinner?" so I guess he is a little disillusioned???? YO Martha????