Serious question... why do republicans hate trees??

[aquaman]

Bastards.

[Droopy]

1. They are phallic symbols and remind them of their inadequacy.

[WhollyHeretic]

2. Why do you hate freedom?

Though repugs really do hate trees for some bizarre reason. Years ago I was telling my republican uncle that I was going to study environmental science and he told me that they could cut down all the trees as far as he was concerned. I don't know what the jackass plans on breathing.

[aquaman]

4. No offense but,

Your uncle was/is satan!

[WhollyHeretic]

5. No offense taken

I see him twice a year and that is way to much for me.

[AntiCoup2K4]

8. That's not fair to Satan.

It's not his fault all the trees in Hell burned down the first year :evilfrown:

[billyskank]

18. Why, the need for oxygen would be a market opportunity

which would be exploited by some entrepreneur. That's the genius of capitalism! :evilgrin:

[Archae]

3. They hate trees...

Because they fell out of them on to their heads.

[Webster Green]

6. Their brains are wired up wrong...

When they look at trees, rather than seeing beautiful gifts of nature, they see dollar signs.

Their brains are fucked up.

LSD is a very effective cure for that mental condition, but its hard to get them to eat the stuff.

[Robeson]

7. There's much truth in your post.

[madeline_con]

9. Dunno. They do, though.

I heard it said that DUH's hobby at the "ranch" is deforestation.

He always seems to be on that damn tractor clearing brush. He probably just runs off into the weeds all the time.

[Robeson]

10. Or falls off his tricycle.

[madeline_con]

11. Benny Hill style

:dunce:

[Robeson]

12. LOL....

...:rofl:

[JVS]

13. Don't we hate trees too?

Fucking shithead trees!

[hfojvt]

14. they just prefer firewood, christmas trees, paper products, and lumber

to forests. See, if you don't clear-cut them, the tanj things just burn down anyway and take a bunch of homes with them. They passed the "healthy forests initiative" didn't they.
Plus, when Simon and Garfunkel sing "I would rather be a forest than a street" I think they are imagining some sort of ideal forests. Real forests are full of rotting leaves and dead trees with maggots roiling underneath. They are over-grown with hawthorne's and mosquitos which will devour you at all hours of the day. Among the nasty plants they contain are stinging nettles and poison ivy. Until white people came here and killed all the animals, they were also full of dangerous animals - wolverines, badgers, wolves, mountain lions, tigers, and bears - oh my.
A forest is best enjoyed from a distance or inside your car. It is better to pave paradise, put up a parking lot and a seven-eleven so some poor schlub can get a great service job selling cigarettes and big gulps in paper cups.

[togiak]

15. I don't think they do.

Other than those who make a living off of trees... I think that what they hate is evironmentalism and environmentalists so they want to cut down all of the trees to spite the evironmentalists.

[MazeRat7]

16. The maples want more sunlight and the oaks ignore their pleas....

Specifically....http://70.113.115.97/du/Rush%20-%20The%20Trees.mp3

There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees,
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.

The trouble with the maples,
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made.
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade.

There is trouble in the forest,
And the creatures all have fled,
As the maples scream "Oppression!"
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
"The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light."
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.

[Not_Giving_Up]

17. They hate trees because libruls hug them!

My rethug voting family members always refer to libruls as "tree huggers". Anything that a librul likes MUST be worth hating!

[dbt]

19. It's because the Trees see everything that happens and they

REMEMBER. A select few Pugs at the very top know very well that Trees are sentient beings who have great power. They fear this hugely because the power of the Trees cannot be used for anything other than the well-being of Mother Earth and all who dwell with Her.

If this power ever fell into the wrong hands, it would be the end of the world as the Pugs know it.