Horoscopes for Fundamental Christians

[Merrick]

Mine:

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) You'll realize that if only everyone took the initiative to read The Bible on their own, then everybody would know everything and we could all relax - Tonight: Its time to narrow the criteria for what qualifies as non-smut in your house


http://www.newsmutiny.com/pages/FundamentalHoroscopes.htm

[LynneSin]

1. I think Fred Phelps is a Taurus

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) After a natural disaster hits a part of the country with a high gay population you will become too preoccupied writing a violent screed to your local paper arguing your theory that God hates homosexuals to notice the huge tornado bearing down on your trailer park - Tonight: Pray like there's no tomorrow

[louis-t]

2. This is REALLY funny

"eternity in hell screaming in peoples' faces". Hee-hee, (snark), giggle-I better go eat, blood sugar getting low, starting to get punchy.

[Dr.Phool]

3. Holy shit!!!! I'm a Taurus too!