Do you have "daddy issues"?

[Taverner]

I know I do...my dad never made sense to me, and I doubt I ever will to him. I think he's proud of me, but who the fuck knows? That was never the question.

We've never really communicated - ever. He was, and is impossible to communicate with. About the only thing we can discuss is sports - and so all conversations we have are channeled through sports in some way.

I've always felt like he came from such a completely different world than I did. In many ways our lives paralelled - but irregardless, it's like we're from different planets. He was a cop, in the 60's, in San Francisco. His favorite assignment was riot control, because he got to "bash hippies with sticks." I served in the Peace Corps straight out of college, and then got a job in computers. Besides that, I've never felt like I had a problem communicating my feelings or discussing things. My dad, however, was a closed book. Never knew how he felt, except on surface things like politics or sports.

As he grows older, he still is a cop - working as a Marshall at the Federal Courthouse. When he's not doing that, he's drinking while watching Fox news at full blast, letting the hatred build and move his soul to its ebbs and flows.

Anyway...just thought I'd share.

[fudge stripe cookays]

1. Yes, I miss mine.

More than he could ever know. I was a serious daddy's girl. He died when I was 13, and I still miss him every day.

No matter how different you may seem, and how tough it might be sometimes, cherish your dad. He's the only one you have.

FSC

[TransitJohn]

5. Me too.

Mine's been gone since I was 8....been real rough, think I'm okay with it now....here's for you....:hug:

[Shredr]

2. My father is a retired Army colonel

He was always very supportive when I was growing up, but we didn't connect like he did with my brother (and like I did with my mom).

One of the things I'm most proud of, as I've moved into my 30s, is getting to know my father as a person, not as "my dad." He has flaws, fears, insecurities just like anyone else.

We have lunch now about once a month (when he's in town for business) and we just talk like two old friends. It's great. But it took a lot of work. I had to just get over any animosity I felt toward him for my childhood. Ultimately, there's no handbook on how to be a dad. He did the best he could. Now I look at him (kind of) as an old friend I see every once in a while.

[Taverner]

8. Well the funny thing is I get along with him best in the family

My brother can't seem to talk with him without him being outraged, my wife wants to beat the crap out of him, and mom (his ex-wife) can't stand to be around him more than an hour.

I probably "understand" him best, and even that's reaching...

[Shredr]

19. That makes it harder.

It seems like you've done your best. At least you're talking to him. You can be proud of your side of it.

[graywarrior]

3. My dad died 25 years ago.

He was a paratrooper in WWII, but he was ready to ship my brother to Canada during the Viet Nam war. He was also a drunk and we fought bitterly. But I miss him.

I never got him, either. He scared most of our neighbors, wouldn't take shit from anyone. Called my brother Jessica coz he wore his hair to his waist, but would stand up against anyone else who made a negative comment about him. Strange dude.

[Shoeempress]

4. You could say I have "Daddy issues" in that I hate that nasty wingnut

repuke and hope he dies soon if he hasn't already. Though I believe he will live forever as only the good die young. What a prick.

[Mr. McD]

6. I never really knew my dad. He died when I was 5 (1954)

I don't even remember him.

[Semi_subversive]

7. Nope! My dad's a great Ol' Fart!

Staunch Dem, too!

[redqueen]

9. Oh hell yes. n/t

[mike_c]

10. haven't spoken to the crusty old bastard for decades...

...and I'm not about to anytime soon. I don't think he'll last much longer-- I don't actually have any knowledge of his condition, but he was a sick old man the last time I heard anything about him and that was years ago. He's 80-ish, I think, but it's a badly used 80. He's a sour, dysfunctional man-- a lifelong alcoholic who treated everyone around himself with utter contempt. I used to fantasize about pissing on his grave one day-- now I'm older, and mellower, and wouldn't waste the airfare.

[bicentennial_baby]

11. not those kind

but I got something, that's for sure...ask MrS for more details, if needed. :P

[bertha katzenengel]

12. Oh, god, do I ever! See link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3191507

[Taverner]

13. What a CATastrophe!

I'm glad you CATalogued it all for us...(oh god I kills myself)

[bertha katzenengel]

16. LOL

Didn't mean to hijack or make light of your thread, Taverner. Just being my self-centered li'l ol' self.

[hyphenate]

14. My dad passed when I was 28.

We'd known for awhile, as he had lung cancer from smoking. He was only 59.

The only thing that bothered me about my dad was that he thought a lot of what I enjoyed doing was bunk, and I was forever dreaming. Perhaps I was, though.

He had suffered a lot of tragedy when he was young--his own dad passed away from tuberculosis when he was very young (we're talking the 1920s) and his mom left him with his aunt to raise as she separated all her kids (6 of them) and put them with other relatives and an orphanage, while she came to the US to try and get a life started. This was in 1932. Once she had things started, they all came to the US to live.

I don't think I have many "issues" with him, as often I can see where he was coming from, but I certainly didn't like him much when he was drinking heavily. He was often mean when he was drunk.

[donheld]

15. Yes i think i do

I had a father, we all did, but i never really had a daddy.

[dolo amber]

17. My dad and I are too much alike to get along

He had an emergency quadruple-bypass almost exactly 5 years ago today...the rest of my family was all hysterical and crying and freaking out...for some reason I couldn't...and didn't feel like...shedding a tear.

I do however freak out now, anytime my parent's number comes up at an unexpected time on my phone. I totally love my dad more than anyone in this world, but as I said, we're so much alike we seem to be constantly butting heads. :(

[Left Is Write]

18. My only "daddy issue" is that I live 1200 miles away from him.

I only see him twice a year, and that's incredibly rough on me.

[LeftyMom]

20. Well, my Dad has issues and I have issues with his issues

But I love him and am willing to look past most of his faults. Usually.

[Debi]

21. My dad is a good old Italian Catholic

He's got guilt down pat. We don't so much argue as just not get each other. So we keep conversation light and don't delve too deep. He loves me, I know and he REALLY loves the grandson I gave him. I just feel like he keeps thinking I could have done better but won't ever make it. Ahhh, who knows. It's nothing I'm gonna drive myself over the edge about. We hug when we see each other and then talk sports or my son's recent accomplishments. Good enough for me. :eyes:

[Taverner]

22. Ahhh It would be so nice if he liked his grandson, my son

But he usually ignores lil Nate when he comes over. Not sure why - I write it off to him just not liking babies or toddlers.

[Debi]

23. I'm just waiting for my older brother to have children.

You know, he's the one who will carry on the family name. He got the right job, married the right girl, goes to all the baseball, football, basketball games with Dad and plays golf with him. Thank God I like to cook and am handy around the house or we would have nothing to talk about.

My son is 16 1/2 - If my brother can hold out for another year or so my kid will be an adult before grandpa forgets he exists!