Matcom and GOPisEvil walk into a bar

[yvr girl]

and they drink. Were you expecting a joke?

[Blue-Jay]

1. So the bartender says to GOPisEvil,

"You can't bring that damned Matcom in here! This is a respectible joint."

GOPisEvil replies, "I promise that Matcom will behave himself. he's very well-trained and won't cause any trouble."

The bartender considers this, and finally says "Well...OK, but the moment he starts acting up, I'm tossing you BOTH out!"

Just then, Matcom strips off his clothes, jumps up onto the pool table and swallows the cueball whole.

"Get the hell out of here!" screams the bartender, "And take that fucking Matcom with you!"

The next day, GOPisEvil and Matcom return to the bar. "Listen" says GOPisEvil, "I'm sorry about yesterday. Here's your cueball back. I made sure clean it off very thoroughly, and I PROMISE that Matcom won't misbehave anymore. He's learned his lesson. Can we just sit and have a couple of beers?"

"OK. I'll give you ONE more chance....." begins the bartender.

At that moment, Matcom strips off his clothing again and jumps onto the bar. Seeing a basket of peanuts, he proceeds to grab one and stick it up his ass.

"What the hell is he doing now?!?!" yells the bartender.

"Oh, don't mind him" says GOPisEvil, " After yesterday, he likes to size his food up before he eats it."

.........................................................................

Thanks, I'm outta here! Try the veal!

[matcom]

3. LMAO

:rofl:

[BroadwayBrat]

5. OMG!

:spray:
I just about fell on the floor laughing! I swear if I had a drink it would have been all over the keyboard!

[GOPisEvil]

6. HAHAHA!!!

You can't take that damned matcom anywhere! :rofl:

[rbnyc]

8. OMG!

That was good.

[BikeWriter]

9. *Sounds of wild applause!*

[BlueJazz]

2. Actually....Matcom had a slab of Asphalt under his arm.

He told the Bartender:
"3 drinks please..one for me..one for my friend..and one for the road".

[mac56]

4. Actually...GOPisEvil is carrying a baby seal.

Bartender says, "What'll ya have?"

Seal says, "Anything but that damn Canadian Club."

[kmla]

7. In that same vein..... You know how a guy gets a witch pregnant?

Well?????

Do ya?



















He has sex with her.

Duh!

[trof]

10. And Matcom says:

"Ow! They need to raise that bar about 6 inches."
barumph bump

[Debi]

11. And the worm

stuck his head out and said 'Hey, where's my cookie'

That's when GOPisEvil hit it with the mallet!