Tomorrow being Canada Day... Let's bash the Not-So-Great White North!

[UrbScotty]

America has Howard Dean. Canada has Elvis Costello.

:evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin:

[AverageJoe]

1. Take off, eh?

Hoser! :-)

[davidinalameda]

2. but they gave us Celine Dion

they should be nuked for that alone

[yewberry]

3. I love Canada!

However, I have trouble with the national anthem. I start off fine, but for some reason, I always end up with this:

"Oh, Canada!
How lovely are thy branches..."

Not quite right.

[JVS]

4. Liberation for Quebec!

The sick Frankenstein monster that is Greater Ontario must die!

[Burma Jones]

5. With their flapping heads all full of lies.........

Sheila: Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Sharon: Should we blame the government?
Liane: Or blame society?
Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Sheila: No, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their beady little eyes
And flappin' heads so full of lies
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: We need to form a full assault
Everyone: It's Canada's fault!
Sharon: Don't blame me
For my son Stan
He saw the darn cartoon
And now he's off to join the Klan!
Liane: And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelf
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!
Sheila: Well, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Sheila: It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Copy Guy: They're not even a real country anyway
Ms. McCormick: My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer, it's a-true
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue
Everyone: Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?
Sheila: Heck no!
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their hockey hullabaloo
Liane: And that bitch Anne Murray too
Everyone: Blame Canada
Shame on Canada
Ohhh...
The smut we must stop
The trash we must bash
Laughter and fun
Must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus

[enigmatic]

6. My adopted home

So seductive is it's charms that it's managed to make me a Curling fanatic AND hopelessly addicted to Tim Hortons coffee and Timbits..

[JVS]

7. Ah Tim Horton's, the McDonalds of Ontario's cultural imperialism!

I wave my buttocks at these silly English pig-dogs.

[enigmatic]

9. Ha!

There's a pimple on those buttocks, my friend:)

[JVS]

10. Then you may suck the pus from it

:-)

[enigmatic]

13. I'll send Yakov Smirnoff right over!

[Gildor Inglorion]

8. I can forgive them anything! Hayden Christensen is da bomb!

He makes up for Peter Jennings and Lorne Greene. Almost.


:loveya:

[Deep13]

12. But he was seduced by the dark side of the force!

[Deep13]

11. A guy I knew grew up in Canada and I grew up in MA. ...

He said he used to be able to shoot his rifle in any direction and be sure of not hitting anyone. I told him I had a gun like that once.

[moof]

14. Canada leading the world

in being just north of America.

Canada is great because of Vancouver, B.C., Whistler/Blackcomb,

and a bunch of great DU posters, salute.

[Squeech]

15. Once upon a time

I took a driving vacation in Canada-- Nova Scotia, to be precise.

On Canada Day, 1989, I blundered into one of the most amazing experiences of my life: a Gathering of the Clans in Pugwash, NS, a little town that had a population of a couple thousand. I venture to guess that on that day it was at least half that again, and every one of the excess people was wearing a kilt.

Not only that, but a significant percentage of those were doing very strange things: Highland clog dancing, trying to throw telephone poles (a/k/a "turning the caber"), and playing bagpipes. Perhaps the saddest sight in the world was a piper looking for a quiet place to practice, lurking behind someone's garage.

The road signs in Pugwash were bilingual. The second language wasn't French, it was Gaelic.

So, happy Canada day to everyone north of Dumbfuckistan!

[Telly Savalas]

16. .

[Redstone]

17. Canadians seem like such peaceful types, but put a pair of

hockey skates on them, and it's "Fook, Marcel, I reepa you head off and merde down you neck, eh?"

Redstone

[UrbScotty]

18. How true

:evilgrin:

[barb162]

19. Oh no, Canadians are so nice and the country is so beautiful

We can't bash them (can we?)

[UrbScotty]

21. We MUST bash them!

We can find some dirt on them! :D

[Jara sang]

20. Canada has days?

I just thought they had seasons...