How To Spot A "Married Man/Woman" Who Pretends To Be Single

[corarose]

1. He pays for everything in CASH so that his wife can't trace anything back to him.

2. He has a pre-paid cell phone because she can't trace any phone calls or find out.

3. Drives a car that belongs or belonged to a relative so that you can't find out where he really lives because if you do you will find a wife and kids.

4. Takes a "business" trip and after he returns home he doesn't acknowledge that you exist anymore until his next "business" trip.

Why do married men cheat?

For the Ladies and Men who weren't born yesterday. Some of us may be dumb but not that DUMB!

Feel free to ad any comments about CHEATERS and how to recognize one.

[TrogL]

1. More obvious

tan line on his ring finger.

[corarose]

5. Oh Hell I forgot that one

Keeps checking his watch also and calls you by his wifes name by accident.

[izzie]

64. Mine took off ring as he said it got in way of his work.

Took me a while to under stand what that was all about, as I was young.Usually you can tell if men are married and I do not know how.I do not know how women get away with it.

[GOPisEvil]

2. A couple more to add...

5. Will not give a home phone number or allow visits to his home.

6. Only accepts calls at work (and/or restricts calling to certain hours).

Cheaters suck! I'm a guy, and I caught my then-girlfriend with another man, and it sucked. I know what kind of pain it can cause, and I'd never want to deliberately cause that kind of pain!

[corarose]

9. I dated a Bass Player one time and he said he was single

Paid my way to Paris, bought my dresses and I loved him and it wasn't because of his money.

Turned out he loved more then one of us and we all found each other and let his wife in on what he was doing.

[Cleita]

3. This is really obvious.

Why don't you just ask him outright. If he says no then ask him for his phone number and call it.

[corarose]

11. That's what the pre-paid cell phone is for

:kick:

[Cleita]

15. Honey, if you don't get his answering machine

stating who he is then he's suspect. I have no idea how pre-paid calls enter into this unless he's making them. A lot of married men will give you their office number but not their residence.

[corarose]

18. Ever heard of a pre-paid cell phone that has an answering machine

On it?

You can pre-pay your cell phone service and you don't have to show your ID to get one.

[Cleita]

26. No I'm not that technologically up to snuff.

But it seems like a lot of trouble to get laid. Most married men, anyway, are up front about being married. What they do is tell the girl that their marriage is over and that they are eventually going to get a divorce. Well, a smart girl will say, no thanks, and that they should look her up when they have the final divorce papers in his hand. Then she might consider dating him if she's still single.

[radwriter0555]

4. HIJACK ALERT: Stupid Things Married Men Do that tip you OFF to what

a liar, creep and jerk he is!

1. LEAVES THE %^@#%^%@#!)@*$ BABY SEAT in the back seat of HIS CAR when he takes you TO DINNER (for the first time).

What an idiot! I get in the car, see the baby seat, ask why he has it, THEN he "mentions' he's married... I just looked at him, and just got out of the car and walked back into the house... Didn't even get to dinner.

[corarose]

14. LOL

Damn I spit my Snapple out all over the computer screen.

Leaves the baby seat in the back HAHAHAHAHA!

[izzie]

67. I used to wear what I found in back seat,

It was not under things so I used to show them off to people when my husband was with me. See these earrings I found them in the car. Do you like them.I can not belive I did that. I really got a kick out of it.

[GOPisEvil]

17. What an ultra-maroon...

How stupid is THAT guy? Sheesh!

[brainshrub]

23. Good for you!

[Cleita]

47. What a creep.

It's a good thing for you that he was also stupid.

[Droopy]

6. Loses all sexual interest in his spouse.

Not necessarily a sign of cheating but it should be an alert that something is not right.

[PurpHaze69]

7. I'm married,

and I can say that I don't do any of the things listed, but I don't wear my wedding ring, ever. I don't wear a watch or any other jewlery. Just not about it. So am I a bad guy, or a guy out trying to look single, eventhough I'm married? Just curious on how far this stereotype goes.

[GOPisEvil]

12. As long as you are not actively trying to meet other women, it's fine.

And, if women approach you, and you are honest about being married, then it's fine too. It's not the behaviors in and of themselves, it's the behaviors combined with a person who is allegedly single that raise red flags.

[forgethell]

25. Me, too - Vanity post alert

I've been married 30 years, and although I have a wedding ring, I never wore it after the 2nd year. why? you may ask. Safety rules at the workplace. Moving machinery is very dangerous.

My wife trusts me anyway. Of course, I'm trustworthy.

[ForrestGump]

45. I'm married. But I'm getting divorced. No, really!

And I have rarely ever worn a wedding ring (and at some point, after I started wearing it, the stupid thing shrank and I barely got it off in time...now the pale indentation that it made on my hand has gone completely, like my matrimony) and don't wear a watch unless I need to time something. Never liked rings, really, though it's probably more a case of just not being used to the way they feel - same with glasses, because it took me many, many years before I started wearing sunlglasses.

[VelmaD]

8. I have an answer...

that I don't think people are gonna like. The guy I know who's cheating currently is doing it because he and his wife are not at all compatable sexually. There are things he wants to do that she isn't willing to try and rather than keep on fighting with her about it he went out and found someone on the side who was willing. He swears up and down that he's happy in his marriage otherwise.

[corarose]

16. But, at least he is honest right?

He told you that he was married and you accepted him that way.

Hell, there is a couple of married men that I might consider If I was given the chance like Johnny Depp and well several other people.

Honesty is the best policy.

[VelmaD]

27. I've known him for years...

and he's always been a horn dog. And he's always cheated on this woman (including with me back when they were dating in college).

And I agree, honesty is the best policy. But he's not being honest and that drives me nuts. He hasn't told her. He'd rather not have the fight that would ensue because she can get insanely jealous of him just talking to another woman. He's in a really untenable position - he can either fight with her about their sex life, fight with her about wanting to get it somewhere else, or keep his mouth shut and wait for the inevitable explosion when she finds out he's cheated on her. He's kind of a chicken shit so he's putting it off as long as he can.

[cally]

37. This guy's excuse is insane

Oh, she's insanely jealous when he talks to a woman. Duh! He cheats on her. Oh she doesn't give him what he wants sexually so he cheats on her because he can't talk about it. Oh, that explains it. How can they work out their sexual relationship without discussion? Relationships take work. Just talk about what you need and work it out. Going outside the relationship without your spouse's consent is a betrayal and shows your lack of character.

[VelmaD]

43. That's easy to say...

when you aren't involved.

Before I go off, maybe I didn't explain the situation very well. They have talked about what he wants. Repeatedly. She IS NOT interested in doing it and will not budge on this. What he wants isn't that far out there frankly but he's made to feel like there's something wrong with him for wanting to be a little more adventurous. It's the oldest story in the book - I know. But it's a cliche because sometimes it's true.

Is he handling it in the most appropriate way - no. But it's his situation to deal with in whatever way he thinks works for him. He's my friend and I'm not judging him on this one since I don't know what I would do in the same situation.

[radwriter0555]

50. LOL! he wants threesomes and butt sex and blow jobs!

Poor baby... I feel so bad for him.

Far better to invalidate his marriage, and lie and cheat on his wife than repress his animal instincts for a few moments of sexual gratification! Poor thing.

It's all her fault, you know. She drove him to it.

[VelmaD]

54. Oh good grief...

more like repressing his sex drive for the rest of his life. It's not her fault. She didn't "drive him to it". And I hope I didn't imply that I think that. Frankly I wish he'd tell her the truth and have it out. But it's his choice to make. He thinks things are better rocking along the way they are. If she's happy with the way things are right now and he's getting enough on the side to keep him happy then it's easy to see why he wouldn't want to rock the boat.

And since when are blowjobs in the same category as 3somes and butt sex? :eyes: (Not that I have anything against any of those things personally.)

[corarose]

60. LOL

I thought that BJ's were in a class by their own.

[JVS]

56. Why shouldn't he get to enjoy those things?

[wickerwoman]

57. Why shouldn't he get a divorce if he wants to enjoy these things?

He stood at an altar and made a legally binding promise to have sex with only one woman. If he didn't want to deal with the implications of that, he shouldn't have married her. And if he continues to be incapable of living without forms of sexual satisfaction he can't get from his wife, he should get a divorce.

[JVS]

59. Marraige vows are still legally binding?

I had no idea.

[wickerwoman]

63. In states without no-fault divorce, hell yes.

Last time I checked, cheating on your spouse was grounds for a greater than 50/50 split in divorce settlements. Sounds pretty legally binding to me.

[VelmaD]

61. Because otherwise...

he says he's happy with her. They've been together since high school and they're now both in their 30s.

He's not the only man I know with this same exact problem. I know women in this boat too (hell I was one of them with my evil-ex). Sometimes people love each other and everything else in a relationship is good except the sex.

[wickerwoman]

68. I'm sure it's a convenient arrangement for him...

but the point is that if he's not willing to live up to the terms of the arrangement he entered into, he needs to either get a divorce or live without. Sneaking around behind his wife's back and breaking the terms of their contract is not acceptable.
I don't believe in marriage and never plan to get married, but if I did- if I stood in front of that altar or that judge and swore to have sex with only one person, I would damn well do it. If I couldn't do it, I would get a divorce. Anything else is, in my opinion, contemptuous and dishonorable behavior no matter how much he "loves her otherwise". If he wants to discuss their sexual problems with her and she agrees that she can't satisfy him and that she doesn't mind if he finds what he needs elsewhere then fine- the contract has been renegotiated by both parties. But sneaking around and breaking a promise are bullshit and I'm pretty sure that on at least some level, you and your friend know this.

[VelmaD]

69. Actually, what you're talking about...

being honest and having permission would be convenient. Having an affair is inconvenient. And messy. And guaranteed to end badly.

[XNASA]

10. But you're forgetting an entire culture of married people who....

....fool around and don't attempt to cover up anything.

Some spouses accept it. Some singles will only date married people. that way, there's no strings attached.

What about swingers? What about open marriages?

Perhaps you might ask, "Why do married women cheat?" as well.

[radwriter0555]

51. I saw a documentary on swingers, and through the whole thing it appeared

that the women were making excuses and totally miserable.

In all cases the impetus was from the guy, and the wife goes along to make him happy, and worse, to make sure she doesn't lose him.

The women were NOT happy sharing or being shared.

[Cleita]

65. I think the key here is consenting adults.

What the poster was talking about was deceptive behavior and lies.

[PurpHaze69]

13. Here's a question,

if I have phone sex with a friend, that's a girl, but nothing else, ever, am I cheating on my wife????

[KeepItReal]

19. Not if the girl is in another state...Guy Code

;-)

[PurpHaze69]

22. Yeah, she's in another state

so I'm in the clear. Cool.

[wickerwoman]

21. Does your wife know about it?

Do you feel guilty?
The thing is- I think cheating is defined differently in every relationship.
Ideally, you would tell your wife everything you do. If there's anything you do that you wouldn't share with your life-partner then in a way you are "cheating" on the concept of life-partnership, hence the guilt.
I won't pretend that I'm in a position to give you advice, but I wouldn't want to live in a relationship where I couldn't tell my partner something and I wouldn't want my partner to feel like there were things he couldn't tell me.

[PurpHaze69]

29. Hell no, she doesn't know about it.

So I have to share everything? "Oh honey guess what, I had phone sex today with Amy, you know that old friend of mine that moved to LA." "Oh, and I had a water shit earlier, must have been the beans." Give me a break.

[wickerwoman]

31. Well, it's your life.

Have fun with it.

[JVS]

32. Keep a lid on it.

It isn't like finding out is going to make her happy.

[izzie]

70. Ever read the 'Hiti Report'?

All men think their wife does not know and all know. It is a very interesting book. We sure do live in different worlds.

[VelmaD]

71. Ok, well...

if the wives all "know" and they don't say anything about it then why should the guy?

[Droopy]

24. I think it's dishonest

It's hard to say whether it's cheating because you are just masturbating. I think your wife should know if you're having phone sex.

[PurpHaze69]

33. Why?

If I rubbed one out to a Hustler magazine, should she know about that as well? And if not, then why is it different because I'm talking to some chick half way across the country that I will never actually touch or come in "Real" contact with???

[felonious thunk]

35. Would your wife be angry about it?

Cheating is really in the eye of the one being cheated on. If she'd be pissed and feel like trust was broken, then it probably has been.

[JVS]

38. That sounds weak.

A lot of things can be construed as cheating by those rules.

[felonious thunk]

41. That's true

But really, does it matter? If the wife finds out, and says that it was cheating, what difference does it make what anyone has defined cheating as? If she thinks he cheated, then for all intents and purposes, he has.

[JVS]

42. It means that if she thinks he's cheating, she's wrong.

[felonious thunk]

46. There won't be anyone to argue about

right and wrong with when she's gone. That's all I'm saying. The definition of cheating varies by the relationship and the people involved, not by any strict definition we make here. What you consider not cheating might be considered a breach trust by someone else. Right or wrong to the rest of the world doesn't matter if one of the people in the relationship feels like he or she has been wronged.

[JVS]

48. It is likely that she won't be gone.

And building up her greivance to larger levels by calling it cheating isn't necessarily going to help her out.

[Misinformed01]

34. Hell yes it's cheating

And furthermore, it's tacky as hell-and not just on your part either. Your girl "friend" should be ashamed of herself for encouraging stupid behavior. I bet you a skinny assed nickle that she would have a damned melodramatic fit from hell if her husband was doing shit like that; and no, I don't care if she is single.

Christ, your wife can't even trust you on the phone; if she finds out I promise you she won't trust you every time you leave the damned house.

I feel sorry for your marriage.

Edited because I was going to try to change the bitchy tone, but decided not to.

[corarose]

53. Amen Honey!

I hate LIARS & CHEATERS.

[wickerwoman]

44. Here's another guideline:

Would you consider it cheating if you found out your wife was having phone sex with another man- even if he was in another state and she swore they would never meet?

[radwriter0555]

52. Yes.

It's cheating.

[4323Lopez]

55. If you orgasm, yes, its definitely cheating...

Horn dog!!!

[JVS]

20. #3 makes me wonder, are lots of women stalkers?

Tracking down where someone lives is really not cool.

[corarose]

36. How do you define stalkers? Someone that emails you?

Know what I mean?

Or

Some guy who hangs out around your house waiting for you to come out your door or parks in front of your house and watches you?

[JVS]

40. If someone tracked down where I lived they would be a stalker.

[amazona]

77. you shouldn't be sticking your you-know in someone...

...if you are unwilling for her to know where you live.

I have to go with corarose on this one. If the man won't tell you where he lives, there is something badly wrong with him. He's married or a paranoid schizophrenic or something is wrong you don't want to be involved with.

There is no shortage of horny men out there. If he's acting weird and keeping his home address a secret is definitely weird...on to the next!

[JVS]

79. Who said screwing, for a few dates I consider keeping the home secret..

to be proper form. She might be a headcase.

[Speck Tater]

28. I dated a lady in a church singles club...

... who turned out to be married. Her hubby was a trucker and when he was out of town she went to the singles club to pick up men. I was shocked. I thought only men were that sleezy.

[TXlib]

30. Was she cheating, or did her hubby know, and not mind?

[Speck Tater]

39. Her hubby didn't know...

... and I heard later he found out and beat the crap out of one of the guys she was dating. I'm glad I dumped her before anything happened between us!

[BiggJawn]

49. Your statement hold as much water as a Chinois...

You're a chef-in-training, so you know exactly what I mean.

I'm Single.
Used to pay cash for everything because I was just starting over again after being cheated on and DUMPED. Still carry cash with me.

I use a pre-paid cellie because it's cheaper than a "regular" one. Of course, I'm strange and don't have the damn thing growing into my ear, buut that's just me.

#3 is stupid. So, you track down his license plate (boy, talk about "trust"!) and you find his sister and HER kids...Maybe if he always drives a rental your theory might be sound, but otherwise...

I don't even understand #4...Are you speaking from the viewpoint of the cheated-on spouse, or the third party?

Corarose, instead of all this male-bashing posting, why don't you just GO OUT with one of those "kids" who's interested in you? Sheesh...Never know, you might enjoy yourself.

[alwynsw]

58. I'm Getting really Good Tips Here

But I don't want to cheat on m wife.

So I guess I'll just file this stuff in my personal "Usless Shit" folder.

Men and women who cheat deserve all the bad things that happen to them - and then some.

[corarose]

62. The movie "The Guide To A Married Man" might help you

Watch it!

[4323Lopez]

74. If you think they're "good tips"...

...5 to 1 you cheat within 5 yrs

[Bake]

66. The thread title says "Man/Woman"

But from that point on it's mostly bashing all the vile, sleazy men. How nice. Venting a bit, are we, corarose?

Bake

[JVS]

72. It had been edited to say "man/woman"

it said man earlier.

[corarose]

73. No, I meant to include both parties

My friends mother use to screw around on her husband. Women do it also and it's not nice unless there is some kind of an agreement.

Her son took his life after he got married and found out that his wife was cheating on him.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

75. This happened to me...

I was at a dance, and this very presentable man came up and asked me to dance and started flirting. The spell was broken when some people came up to him and said something I couldn't hear, and he replied, "Six pounds, seven ounces."

Turned out he was out trying to pick someone up while his wife was in the hospital having a baby.

[leftofthedial]

76. what about married men who don't pretend to be single?

and why do married women cheat?

survey says!

just as many women as men cheat, but women feel less guilty about it.

[amazona]

78. why should anyone feel guilty about it

We are primates. We were not meant to be monogamous. Some real creeps cheat, and some very nice people cheat. It is not a reflection of character. It is the way Mother Nature made us.

On Edit: I think it is much kinder to cheat than to put it in the person's face that you are going out with others. Would the GOP *really* have respected Bill Clinton more if he and Hillary had announced, "Oh yes, we have an open marriage." I think not. You can love someone and want to protect them and still have an animal body with normal desires. Just my opinion but I think that is why so many people sympathized with the Clintons. Cheating can be the best way for married people to deal with their needs for something different. Maybe not always the best way, but it can be the best way.

[KeepItReal]

81. I'm single and wanna pretend to be a married guy!

Women throw themselves at my married buddy. Little do they know he'll never take the bait.

Now would I be wrong for wearing a ring on that finger and taking it for a spin?

[ProudGerman]

80. Cheaters are the scum of the earth

The thing that really sucks is out of my circle of friends, I can think of 2 who haven't cheated. The sad thing is that the vast majority of my friends are female. I have one female friend who hasn't cheated, and I almost want to add a "yet" to that statement. I used to know 3 people who hadn't cheated, but one just recently cheated on her boyfriend. I actually haven't spoken to her in over a week.

Cheating sucks, and is just a symptom of a person's selfishness. It shows an utter lack of character or concern for someone you supposedly love.

[mac56]

82. Cheating isn't about the sex.

It's about the power trip. If it was about the sex, why doesn't this guy just negotiate an arrangement with his wife that they both can live with? Answer: he doesn't want to negotiate with her. He wants the power.