How do men and women meet these days?

[furrylitldevil]

Sorry for the pity party here, but after a long weekend of drinking, dressing up, and watching everyone else enjoy themselves with their spouses/significant others, I guess I just wanted to know what the deal is with courtship these days. It can be very confusing for a guy like myself (single, mid 20's) to understand the ediqute(sp?) involved. It seems like whatever I do (or don't do)it's always the wrong move. So I ask you, who do two people meet these days?

[short bus president]

1. DU Lounge

You just have to wait for the right one to stalk you. ;-)

[Vespasian]

2. Divine intervention?

:shrug:

[short bus president]

3. Welcome to DU, Vespasian!

:hi:

So, are you a fan of the Roman Emperor, or a fan of retro Italian scooters?

[Vespasian]

6. Thanks!

It's a little bit of both, SBP! :crazy:

[Maple]

4. On the net

wish it had been around when I was single!

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. keep creating new poll questions

And hope one day the girl of your dreams falls in love with one of them and responds back, asking for your phone number.

Or, you could just go to a bar.

:shrug:

either or.

[KeepItReal]

7. From Psychology 101....

"Why are we attracted to certain people and not others? And what causes us to decide on a mate? Many of these questions relate to social psychology in that society's influence and our own beliefs and traits play an important role. Research has found five reasons why we choose our friends.:

1. Proximity - The vast majority of our friends live close to where we live, or at least where we lived during the time period the friendship developed (Nahemow & Lawton, 1975). Obviously friendships develop after getting to know someone, and this closeness provides the easiest way to accomplish this goal. Having assigned seats in a class or group setting would result in more friends who's last name started with the same letter as yours (Segal, 1974).

2. Association - We tend to associate our opinions about other people with our current state. In other words, if you meet someone during a class you really enjoy, they may get more 'likeability points' then if you met them during that class you can't stand.

3. Similarity - On the other hand, imagine that person above agrees with you this particular class is the worse they have taken. The agreement or similarity between the two of you would likely result in more attractiveness (Neimeyer & Mitchell, 1988)

4. Reciprocal Liking - Simply put, we tend to like those better who also like us back. This may be a result of the feeling we get about ourselves knowing that we are likable. When we feel good when we are around somebody, we tend to report a higher level of attraction toward that person (Forgas, 1992; Zajonc & McIntosh, 1992)

5. Physical Attractiveness - Physical attraction plays a role in who we choose as friends, although not as much so as in who we choose as a mate. Nonetheless, we tend to choose people who we believe to be attractive and who are close to how we see our own physical attractiveness. "

http://allpsych.com/psychology101/attribution_attraction.html


on edit...
I got an 'A' in Psychology 1000, but I'm single. Maybe I missed something there.

[Droopy]

8. I know a guy who meets lots of single women on the internet

Some of the are a little bit of a drive to get to but others are from right around town. He uses yahoo message boards to meet women. He's around thirty and there is no shortage of women on there in his age group. He goes on there just to find one night stands or fuck buddies, but I wouldn't doubt that there are women on there who are seeking a serious relationship.

[VelmaD]

9. Right here on DU

The people I've met recently have been either here on DU or at DU gatherings. And the best part is I know they're Democrats right up front. One less potential nasty surprise down the road. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

11. Liberalism is VERY sexy...don't you think?

</Jack Palance>

[VelmaD]

15. Why yes...

yes it is. Nothing is sexier than someone with a passion for liberal politics. *drool*

[neuvocat]

10. There's plenty of sites out there

but also I don't know if you're in any college or not but if you are, then take some sort of PE class. I'm in a surfing class and after our midterm/potluck saturday-I met quite a few people in the process.

[TXlib]

12. Get an interesting hobby

Pick up some recreational astronomy, homebrewing, etc.

Pick a hobby that is not too expensive, not particularly dangerous, likely to appeal to both sexes, and interesting to you. Preferably, it will also be something not too common, and one for which you can find a large local club (There's homebrew clubs and astronomy clubs everywhere).

Learn all about it. That way, when you meet new people you have something interesting to talk about other than your job, or politics.

You also have built-in excuses for a first date (a brew-in, a star party, etc).

Even if you don't meet available members of the opposite sex directly, you will be making lots of friends, combatting boredom and loneliness, and these new friends might be able to fix you up with their own friends.

Don't knock blind dates... such introductions arranged by mutual friends can be very useful.

[furrylitldevil]

23. I'm in a band right now

I guess that would qualify as a hobby, but still I get nothing. And no, I'm not into furrys. I'm sure that I would be getting laid at least if I were though.

[BiggJawn]

25. Any hobby but Ham Radio! but, get a tandem bicycle!

Guaranteed "Babe Repellant"!
If I'm having problems with somebody "bothering" me, I just leave a copy of "QST" or a telegraph key laying out, and they run SCREAMING!

If you have a tandem, why, its just natural that you'll need a "stoker" to ride with you. Guy I work with swore by it in his single days. "Best $1200 I ever spent..." he says.

[TXlib]

13. BTW, you aren't into "furrys", are you?

[GregW]

14. Living, walking testament to match.com here ...

Yes, I know, your mileage may vary, but I'm in the best relationship of my life and I found it online.

[MUAD_DIB]

16. Try dance and or cooking class....

preferably not at the same time.

I think that both sexes like somebody that has the moves and knows how to cook.

[rucky]

17. Take the setup offers from your friends!

kinda awkward when they don't work (you need to preface that possibility with your friend before you take the setup)...then again, it's always awkward when it doesn't work out.

They have the best chance of success: at least in my experience.

the person is vouched for
you have something in common right away
there is a positive agent who wants it to work out

and that's how i met my wife.

[Kolesar]

18. Read some of those books about how to meet women

They are full of good ideas. You can learn how to interpret verbal and non-verbal cues that indicate interest. You will learn much more than that. I am sure they sell them at the bookstore, or you can order one on the net.

I like TXlib's post 13--develop a confident, energized lifestyle and have fun!

[TXlib]

19. Like these?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0970058705/qid=1067894143/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/102-8297420-4687366?v=glance&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0971135304/ref=pd_sim_books_1/102-8297420-4687366?v=glance&s=books

[Kolesar]

21. you have opened my eyes to a whole world I did not know existed

Well, the books I meant say things like get a hobby or how to dress.

[Jack The Tab]

20. Met two very beautiful, highly intelligent, sane women on the net...

I'm in my early 30's, and as any single 30 something will tell you, it's very difficult to meet other quality singles...but the net has really opened up a whole new world to singles our age.

I dated one woman for about 4 months, didn't work out, but met another woman, a Brazilian who moved here about 6 months ago, and have been having the greatest time with her so far.

There are some nutcases out there, but you can weed them out pretty quickly online without ever meeting them. Like I said, the two women I've met and dated from the net have been beautiful, intelligent, funny and LIBERAL.

[Kamika]

22. i met TWO guys through the internet

(not at the same time unfortunately)

It didnt develop into anything but they were both sane, goodlooking and i think no history of being schizofrenic.

Anyway the net is OK, but there are about 20 players for every 1 serious person.

Othervise i recommend nightclubs/meeting through friends or just asking someone out.

[BiggJawn]

24. Internet Personals.

They work. I met more women through the web than I did in the "traditional" methods. when you use personal ads, you're pretty much assured that the other party is "looking" as opposed to approaching someone in a bar, Dean meet-up, Earth Day rally, whatever....

[TrogL]

26. Street corners

I see all these women dressed up real perty wearing short dresses and high heels and men pull up in cars and they get in.

It looks like the girls get lots of dates because it's a different car every time.

On some streets it's guys. Maybe you should try that.

*ducks and runs for cover, giggling*

[4323Lopez]

27. Aww.. you make my heart melt!

I wish the best for you I really do! You sound like the perfect little husband-to-be...try bookstores, church(I know), sports bars, libraries, internet, mutual friends etc... Most girls are flattered if you approach them, if you don't do it in a "hey baby" kind of way, ask for a pen or dierections and to have coffee later etc. Plus they are more open if you stress 'friendship' as opposed to 'hook-up' in the first few conversations and make them laugh, that's always the Best!

[Dr Satan]

28. just get a hooker

they are the few women that are honest.

[alwynsw]

29. Honest!!!

Met my bride thru Yahoo personals.

It's true! 4 years married and loving every mminute of it!

[Cleita]

30. In all the wrong places...like we always have.

Get out and go around to different places, museums, stores, restaurants and yes bars. There will be a girl around you want to get to know better. Ask her for coffee when she gets off work or on Saturday afternoon or something like that.

Arrange a convenient place for the both of you to meet. No going to her door or phone numbers at this stage. I think bookstores or museums with coffee bars are ideal places. This way you can get to know each other before you go to the next stage. Be forwarned that she may say no or not show up. Not to worry, there are many girls out there. One in ten should be good odds.

Actually, being the feminist I was, this is how I used to pick up men. It also helped to sift out the willing married ones too before the romance went too far.

[leftofthedial]

31. the unemployment line

nt

[Cleita]

32. No lie.

That's where my best friend from high school met her husband. They have been married for forty years now.

[JVS]

33. Mail order brides

[corarose]

34. Guys can get a submissive wife like that

I can see it now.

Clean my clothes............Yes Sir

Wash the dishes.............Yes Sir

Cook........................Yes Sir

Don't ask questions.........Yes Sir

Bark Like A Dog.............Ruff Ruff

[grannylib]

35. met my hubby in a convenience store....

we were introduced by the guy I was kind of dating at the time.
How convenient!

[Stone Cold]

36. I feel your pain!

:( Maybe it's actually not our fault....maybe it's the women's fault? ;) :) jk