The dead baby joke thread

[TrogL]

I'm sorry, I couldn't hold off any longer [double entendre intended].

Q: Which is easier to unload from a truck? Dead babies or bottles.
A: Dead babies, 'cause you can use a pitchfork.

[JVS]

1. How do you get 5 dead babies in a bowl?

a blender

[JVS]

2. how do you get them out?

Doritos

[JVS]

3. What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

I'll leave this one a while to see who knows the joke.

Come on. Any guesses?

[Vespasian]

23. Lunch!

[JVS]

24. I guess that could work, but it isn't the answer I'm looking for

It is really bad. It either gets big laughs or disgusted looks. I've seen rooms split in reaction to the punchline.

[JVS]

29. OK the real answer is ( Timpani plays)...

An erection!

[TrogL]

30. I don't get it

or I hope I don't get it or it's just plain dadaist.

[JVS]

32. Between those who love it and hate it lies a small group known as...

Confused.

The joke is that the person telling it is such a sick fuck that they get sexually aroused by putting babies in blenders.

[TrogL]

34. I love it

You are sick :spank:

[jiacinto]

4. This is not cool

Abortion and miscarriages are nothing to laugh at or make jokes about.

[THUNDER HANDS]

6. you're such a party pooper jiacinto

C'mon, give me one dead baby joke...just one.

:)

[JVS]

8. But infanticide is funny!

[TrogL]

10. that's why it's funny

humour hurts

[DrWeird]

11. Were not talking about fetuses.

We're talking about babies.


Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken.

[qanda]

12. You are absolutely right!

I hope this thread will be closed, because it is not funny!

[CO Liberal]

5. How Do You Make a Dead Baby Float?

Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a dead baby.

[Name removed]

7. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[bicentennial_baby]

9. You stole my joke!

Except in mine it's dead babies or bowling balls...one of my faves!

[TXlib]

13. I got flamed for a dead kitty thread...

I fear for you.

:scared:

[proud patriot]

14. OMG eighties Memories

If my husband were here he's have about
20 of these jokes .

[JVS]

15. What's worse than being trapped under a pile of dead babies?

Eating your way out!

[DrWeird]

16. How many dead babies can fit in a VW beetle?

464.7

[RandomKoolzip]

17. What's the difference btween a sackful of onions and 7 dead babies?

I always cry when I slice up onions.

[short bus president]

18. Too friggin' funny!

Guess I don't have a joke to share in this thread, but I can take this opportunity to fill you all in my euphemism for a poorly-received thread (one that falls off the front page with zero replies almost instantaneously) - I call 'em "dumpster babies."

[BurtWorm]

19. What would dead babies say if they saw this sickening, heartless thread?

Nothing, silly! Dead babies can't talk!

[Vespasian]

20. We're all going to hell for this.

So why stop now?

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

[JVS]

21. Good jokes

You figure out #3 yet?

[TrogL]

22. What's white and red and white and red and thumps

Baby falling downstairs

[TrogL]

25. Dead baby joke story

I was at an open mike night and the host was trying to warm the audience up so he was circulating through the audience soliciting for jokes.

When he came to me, (note, I was blind drunk at the time) I got the microphone away from him and told a string of dead baby jokes, starting with the one opening this thread. Eventually he wrestled the microphone away from me and gave me a dirty look.

The audience was, of course, killing itself laughing.

[TrogL]

26. Mommy, mommy joke

Q: Mommy, mommy, I'm going round in circles.
A: Shut up, kid, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

(my first wife's favourite joke)

[JVS]

28. Why do they need hot water at a birth?

To make soup

[JVS]

27. How do you stop a baby from looking up at you with that cute little

baby face and gurgling happily with that little baby mouth and waving at you with those little baby fingers and little baby toes?







Gouge its eyes out.

[alwynsw]

31. Go Baby Go!

Love the jokes...and wouldn't ya just know it..I'm drawing a complete blank!

Shit!

[proud patriot]

33. I'm Locking this Thread

Moderators have discussed this and feel
it is not appropriate for DU .

proud patriot
DU Moderator