some Presidential candidates you may have missed

[Ficus]

Just for your amusement - Here are some candidates who have filed FEC papers to run for president. I think I counted 29 other Democratic candidates besides our 9 real ones, and 13 or so Republicans challenging W. Not to mention countless Ind. candidates.

Candidate Grimes is pretty funny -

excerpts from Politics1.com:

Louis J. "Louie" Rapuano Jr. (Connecticut) -R

Louis Rapuano is making his second run for President in 2004. In 2000, he briefly flirted with a White House run. This time, he's partially filed FEC paperwork four times to run -- four times, that is, because he's yet to file a completed form with the FEC. Usually, he takes the first page of the form, writes his name and address on it, and then attaches various handwritten notes about how his campaign is coming along. From his notes, he attended some college and "helps out" with his local town GOP organization. As for his net worth, he stated on questionnaire: "$25 in savings account." In case you were wondering, his political hero is Ronald Reagan and his favorite movie is Rambo.


Lowell J. "Jack" Fellure (West Virginia) -R

Rev. Jack Fellure previously registered with the FEC as a Presidential candidate in 1992, 1996 and 2000. Days after the 2000 election -- but before the winner was known -- Fellure filed FEC paperwork to run again in 2004. Fellure believes that President George H.W. Bush was responsible for fanning "the flames of international, Satanic, Marxist socialism to the exclusion of our national sovereignty." Further, Fellure said that President Clinton subsequently "shifted into overdrive the socialistic, Marxist New World Order agenda." He says our country is "being destroyed by atheists, Marxists, liberals, queers, liars, draft-dodgers, flag-burners, dope addicts, sex perverts and anti-Christians." Fellure, clearly, does not buy into the whole "Big Tent" concept of the GOP. In 1992, Fellure qualified for the NH primary ballot and finished in 24th place (36 votes).


Warren R. Ashe (Virginia) -D

From the information he filed with Project Vote Smart, Mr. Ashe appears to be one of the more ... umm ... eccentric candidates in the 2004 race. Ashe says he holds a doctorate degree from North Carolina State University. Then again, Ashe also claims to have been "President, United Nations, 1973-2003 ... Appointed President, United States White House, 1981-2003 ... Candidate, United States President, 2000 ... Vice President, West Wing - Carter Administration, 1977-1981 ... Vice President, West Wing - Ford Administration, 1973-1977." He also claims to be a Navy veteran, an Army veteran AND an Air Force veteran. And he writes he owns a $40 million corporation, too. Yeah, right.


Albert "Al" Hamburg (Wyoming) -D


Perennial candidate Al Hamburg has lost 14 consecutive bids for President and for Governor, US Senate and Congress. He proudly describes himself as the "Very Independent UNPOPULAR Candidate" -- unpopular, he explains, because the special interests and bureaucrats hate him (well, that ... and maybe also because of the Nazi helmet he's wearing in his photo). A house painter by trade, Hamburg spent nearly twenty years in the Army -- serving in the Korean and Vietnam Wars. He has run for state office repeatedly -- at various times -- as a Democrat, an Independent, and as a member of the now-defunct New Alliance Party. Claiming to be a homeless veteran, Hamburg suddenly popped-up in Nebraska in 2000 -- claimed that state as his new residency -- and filed as a candidate there for US Senator in the Democratic primary. Hamburg is now back in Wyoming and running for President in 2004. He filed FEC paperwork for the race in July 2001.

Randy Crow -D


Randy Crow -- a small businessman and former realtor -- was an unsuccessful candidate for the Wilmington City Council in 1997. Then he ran for Congress in the 1998 primary (spending $200 and losing by a lopsided vote of 94% to 6%) ... then he ran for President in the 2000 primaries (he got on the ballot in New Hampshire and Louisiana) ... then he ran another losing primary for Congress later in 2000 (losing by a 93% to 7% vote) .. then he lost for Council again ... and most recently finished last place (9th - 1%) in the 2002 US Senate primary. Undaunted, he's running for President again in 2004. In an email to Politics1 in 2000, Crow explained his motives: "I am involved in politics to get rid of filthy communists and lots of others." He also believes the FBI blew up TWA Flight 800 with a laser and shot down Missouri Governor Mel Carnahan's 2000 campaign plane. On his website, Crow repeatedly expresses open hatred towards Jews (Example: "Vietnam was a zioni$t manipulated War designed to kill our Christian kids and install na$i communi$t zioni$m in the Vietnam region"). Most of the contents of Crow's site, however, appear to be rambling conspiracy tirades against various envisioned enemies: "It has been 13 years since the FBI fessed up to the fact they were investigating me. All my files are classified ... In 1994 the Federal Force manipulated a bunch of mess which questioned my sanity ... I think the Force had some weird blood work done on me or possibly put a computer chip in me." Crow was upset that we quoted these various passages so he printed a rather long, rambling screed on the site denouncing Politics1 as a "zioni$t" tool out to destroy him (he even attacked us for referring to him above as -- gasp -- a "former realtor" because, he notes, he only dabbled in real estate in the past).

Muadin (Massachusetts) - E-Democratic Party


Muadin -- yup, he just uses one name -- is an announced write-in candidate for President. His slogan is a New Age-sounding mantra of "One People, One Planet, One Awareness." Muadin writes he is the candidate of the "E-Democratic Party" -- an unknown entity which he apparently created. What does he stand for? Here are his own words: "The people of earth must use the Internet to network and organize at the grassroots level, outside of the corporate global power structure, in a leaderless revolution of awareness and ideas, a second enlightenment, aimed at establishing e-democracy at every level of human government and in every aspect of human society and affairs. The e-democratic spirit of this leaderless cyber-revolution must culminate in a planetary e-democratic federal government through which all executive, legislative, judicial, and economic power ultimately rests directly in the hands of the people of earth." This focus includes is a requirement that Congressmen and US Senators must vote based upon e-votes on each issue cast by their constitutuents -- and that the federal government be changed from three branches into five branches (don't ask!). Other positions in his platform include a 10% flat tax, abolition of the death penalty, a constitutional ban on political parties (so all candidates must run as Independents), federal term limits, separate national election of the Vice President, repeal of the Second Amendment (gun rights) ... in fact, when we last checked, Muadin was proposing 18 constitutional amendments. If you dig through Muadin's off-beat campaign site, you can also find pix of Muadin badly cropped into poses in the White House ... and a picture of "future First Lady" Jessica Muadin (who, unlike her husband, has a full name). Muadin describes himself as a motivational speaker and President of the Planet Pilgrims Center for E-Democracy and Planetary Awareness.

Jack Grimes (Pennsylvania) -United Fascist Union


Jack Grimes -- who previously ran for President as a write-in candidate in 2000 -- bills himself as the "Leader and Director of the United Fascist Union." As for his use of the word "Fascist," Grimes explains he wants to restore a New World Order based upon the governmental style of Imperial Rome "to institute a military dictatorship form of government over the Earth." Grimes believes that "the psychic is the next great step in the evolution of humankind on this planet." And it gets more weird: Grimes wants to address "the dilemmas now facing America and the whole of Western civilization: Democracy, Christianity, International Capitalism, Earth Changes, U.F.O.'s, government cover-ups, and others." Citing to Cayce and Nostradamus, Grimes predicts that "the United States will be reduced from its present size to a small triangular-shaped land mass through the loss of many of its coastal states." While those quotes come from his old 2000 campaign site, his 2004 is equally entertaining. Be sure to visit the "Pictures" page to view Grimes and his girlfriend (presumably) posing in their homemade black uniforms ... and to view pictures of them eating at different local restaurants. Or visit the "Speeches" page to read Grimes' 1998 remarks delivered to the "Flying Saucer Society of Dover, DE." Best of all is the Discussion Boards section of his site, in which Grimes exalts his followers to worship Satan -- plus you can read about the problem he was having getting to a campaign event in another state (because Mom's car was broken, etc.). While Grimes failed to achieve ballot status in any states in 2000, he falsely boasts on his site that he was on the ballot in 45 states and placed 6th in the race.


There are many many more out there - mostly people like this. Politics1.com is a great site, and they keep track of all of these people. To check them out for a good laugh: http://www.politics1.com/p2004.htm

[Renew Deal]

1. See, Bush isn't running unopposed.

That explains why he needs the cash. It would be funny if we could get one of these guys to beat Bush in some state.

[Ficus]

2. Turnout will be low

so perhaps someone could. I doubt it of course. But it reminds me of a short movie that Michael Moore did where he ran a ficus tree against Rodney Freylinghousen R-NJ who was running unopposed. The turnout was low, and not many people voted, and this tree won as a write in candidate. (they refused to certify the votes however) It's called "The Choice" or "Ficus for Congress" if anyone ever can find a clip or copy of it.

:dem: :dem:

[spindoctor]

4. Hence your name?

The documentary about the Ficus Campaign is on the DVD of the second season of TV-Nation. If I ever get around to it, I'll put it on DIVX for you, but don't hold your breath.

I enjoyed this post.

:kick:

[Ficus]

5. I got it

It's called The Awful Truth - and yes, hence my name. I just wasn't sure where anyone else could find it on the net. Thanks, though.

:dem: :dem:

[Philostopher]

3. I think Muadin

Has read about as much Philip K. Dick and William Gibson as I have. Thirty years from now, all politicians may sound like him -- he's the man to watch. Maybe not in 2004, maybe not even in 2012, but ... in 2024, he's my man. </sarcasm>

[Ficus]

6. I disagree

I think Herr Jack Grimes is the wave of the future. I mean come on, with this platform:

Grimes explains he wants to restore a New World Order based upon the governmental style of Imperial Rome..

I mean, who wouldn't want that?
:dem: :dem: