A question for the WOMEN on this board?

[4323Lopez]

If a man couldn't have kids, thru no fault of his own, because of a surgery procedure that him had screwed him up?
Or what if he had had a surgery willingly like getting "clipped(spermy tubes cut)"?
Or if he had an STD that you knew would adversely affect your fertility?

Would you still want him as a HUSBAND?

[Demobrat]

1. If I wanted a husband, which I don't,

infertility would be a REQUIREMENT.

[4323Lopez]

2. Why, are you old?

[onebigbadwulf]

3. Because

the smarter and more rational you are, the less you want to bear children

[DrGonzoLives]

38. That's nice

So if you want to have children, you are stupid and irrational?

I love people who feel the need to belittle others to make their own choices in life seem superior. If you're that insecure, seek help.

[Demobrat]

4. Not old enough

to not have to worry about pregnancy.

[4323Lopez]

12. dang, oookkkk, high school.....

[mike_c]

5. you silver tongued devil, you....

That line never works for me, however.

[WindRavenX]

6. The ability to have children is not a concern for me

Too many children are brought into this world without having a loving home.
If the man I loved wanted to marry and he couldn't have children, damn straight I'd still want him as my husband. We'd adopt. Quite frankly, I think later in life if I want kids, I'm going to adopt even if we CAN have kids...
There are just too many children in need of a loving home...I don't know if I can morally justify bringing in a new life when there are others needing love :(

[hlthe2b]

7. I think that wouldn't matter to lots of women...

and not only those who don't want children.... I'd like to think most women (and men) despite the stupid Fox 'reality' shows, look at the whole "package" and not just looks, finances, or any other single aspect when judging a potential SO or mate.

The important question: do you have a sense of humor? .......

[Maddy McCall]

8. Not all women marry just to be incubators...

They marry for other reasons. Society tells women they must have children or they are somehow defective.

I have a child--one--and he is the only one I would ever have. I am in awe of women who have more than one...don't see how they do it all!

Some women want no children, so the answer to your question is yes, at least for the first two questions, some women would marry that man.

Bringing an STD into the mix is a whole different issue that has to do with trust, honesty, and exactly what kind of STD it is. Are you saying that he has an STD that would affect the WOMAN'S fertility? Seems to me if it would affect fertility it would affect other areas of health, and that is a different topic altogether.

[Cleita]

9. Well, since I don't believe that marriage is a requirement

to having children, I probably would marry a man years after having a child or two, so it wouldn't make any difference. Don't ask me to go into detail about this because I came to these conclusions after a lot of thought and they would take up a lot of spac to explain.

[4323Lopez]

15. Excellent point! A for the day!

So if you would marry him years AFTER having kids with him, does that mean he would have had to have passed the "test run"?

[Cleita]

17. You're assuming he's the father.

:evilgrin:

[SOteric]

10. If I loved a man enough to consider marrying him

It would not much matter to me whether we could physically produce children.

If we reached a place in our marriage where we both really wanted to experience being a parent but one or both couldn't bring that desire to fruition, - there are a host of options for bringing children into one's life. Perhaps we'd consider adopting, fostering, or even entering the Big-Brothers/Big Sisters programs.

And if we never get the urge to parent, then we'll have more bucks to squander on senseless, selfish things and more time to boink to exhaustion without interruption.

[populistmom]

11. No!

I already have children and I'm content to be done having them. My husband is snipped. If something ever happened with us, I could consider having more children with someone else (I really like being a mommy), but only after I have done some others things in my life first. However, if I was to be involved with someone, who, for whatever reasons, couldn't have children, it most certainly wouldn't make a difference in how I felt.

[bicentennial_baby]

13. No babies for me!

Infertility is a plus in my book! But I'll pass on STDs, thanks.

[caledesi]

14. I want and I do. My husband and I do not have children. n/t

[Nikia]

16. It might disuade me from marrying him

I am married to a fertile male. If he died though, before we had children, I probably would want to marry a man capable of impregnating me. I think that I would be more likely to marry him anyway if it was through no fault of his own. I want to have children, but I am young and childless. If I already had children, I would probably prefer a man who was unable to have children. I've seen and experienced what I'd call "Cinderella" syndrome too often to let that happen to my children. I wouldn't want to marry a man with an STD and hopefully wouldn't have gotten it before the secret was revealed. Call me selfish and judgemental, but there are many men out there that I wouldn't have to worry about in that way.

[4323Lopez]

18. Totally, that's kind of my opinion

on this subject too.

[Blaukraut]

19. Infertility - no problem, but

If there had been a prior STD ( possibly untreated to cause infertility), it would depend on what type of STD it was.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

27. Hey, LevensonK, I haven't seen you around for months!

:hi:

[corarose]

20. I could care less about it but,

What kind of an STD are you talking about?

[Ladyhawk]

21. Of course, if he matched the other requirements and I was looking. eom

.

[ikojo]

22. yes, never wanted kids.

A guy with a vasectomy would be ideal!

[lizerdbits]

23. Infertility gets bonus points!

(So do carpentry, plumbing, and automotive repair skills but that's not what you asked. :) ) I'm not interested in kids and I've had lots of hormone problems so probably couldn't get pregnant if I tried, which I see as a good thing.
I assume you are talking about non curable STDs like Herpes. I think syphylis and other bacterial stuff can cause infertility but he better have those antibiotics finished long before I'm fooling around with him. I don't know if genital herpes causes infertility in women (too lazy to go look at my microbiology book) but if there's other detrimental medical conditions that can result from infection from something non curable, then that will be a problem.

[Kamika]

24. NEVER

He must be totally masculine for me to even think about him.

If he after his tiger trial (where he has to wrestle 2 tigers at once just for me to consider him) not be able to procreate id have to kill him

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. Love your attitude!

Make 'em run the gauntlet and prove their worth before you waste your time with any man.

Speaking as a man, a lot of us (not me, though, and probably not most of us on DU) are just pigs and not worth your time. :-)

I assume you will make them do the "paint my entire apartment" test, the "run to the store and buy me tampons" test, and the ubiquitous "Tell me the proper name of every item at home depot" tour/test.

[Kamika]

29. Hah!

I dont know if im in a good mood today or what but i just laughed so much at that answer (and at alot of posts this morning), half my cookie is on the keyboard now :)

Theres also the "beat down whoever looks at me to see you really care" test, and the "remember every little anniversery day nomatter how small or stupid it is(like 1 month anniversery of the first time we drank tea together)"

:D


aaah im just playin'

See for some reason i think alot of you guys take me so serious so when i write really crazy things meant as a joke you think im dead on serious so if you for some reason didnt get that my first post was just a joke.. It was a joke

[Kat45]

25. Not able to have kids is a plus in my book.

I've never wanted kids, and I'm getting to an age where although I could still have them, I don't think it would be very smart to do so. It would be great to not have to use condoms. But an STD brings up other health issues besides fertility.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

28. At this point, I'm too old to deal with infants

and since I'm not dating anyone right now, if I were to get around to marrying someone, I'd be even older!

I would have liked to have had children, but frankly, I don't like babies much. They're more interesting after they learn to talk.

[Kamika]

30. omg youre wrong

Babies are the cute cudly ones you love.

Its when they begin to talk you just want to kick their ass.

When i was a waitress here one of those "monsters" threw his whole plate full of food at me and the godamm parents behaved like hed done nothing wrong.

[foxy]

35. That's definitely the parents fault

They need to learn how to discipline their children. I have three and I still take an occasional parenting class just to see if they can give me any advice. I do learn something new every time though.

Children are great but you are definitely right about the talking part. We tell the babies all the time that we will love it when they can finally start talking and then constantly tell them to be quiet when they actually start. Hypocrites that we are. :)

[NicoleM]

36. Could not agree more.

Even though I'm having a baby, I'm not really excited about babies. They're far more interesting when they get to be 3 or so and you can have conversations with them and teach them stuff.

[LWolf]

31. I don't want a husband.

I haven't been thrilled with the experience.

As for fertility:

I escorted my first husband to the doctor when he was...let's see. 27. I held his hand while they "snipped." A great gift to the world, I tell ya.

When that marriage, after a decade, disintegrated, I promptly went in and had the same. I didn't want any false assumptions on any man's part when I dated again. I thought it was a good thing to be very upfront and honest about the situation. Men looking to start another family could look elsewhere.

[radwriter0555]

32. WELL.... aside from the STD, a 'fixed' fella isn't detrimental to

my situation.

[bleedingheart]

33. I married the man...not his sperm count

all men and women take the risk of having a spouse who may or may not be able to have kids. Personally I think that if the person knows they have a fertility issue it is best to talk about it early on so that there are no later problems.

My sister-in-law was dumped by a guy because she was sterilized by choice because of her diabetic condition. It hurt her terribly but at least the did not marry and have it become an issue.

I was told at a young age that I might have fertility problems. When I met my husband I told him that I might not be able to bear children. It didn't matter either way to him. We married and lo and behold I ended up being fertile myrtle... he got snipped after the second baby.

[GOPisEvil]

34. I had a similar discussion with a woman once.

After repeatedly telling her that I was unconcerned about her lack of ability to reproduce, I finally blurted out, "I would be marrying YOU, not your ovaries!" She got the message, finally. Too bad she's rabidly conservative...:-(

[GinaMaria]

37. Depends

on how badly,you want kids. I've known a couple of marriages that broke up because one spouse didn't want to have kids. You have to decide if it's what you want. If it is, then don't compromise on something you want.

As far as the STD goes, it would depend specifically what we're talking about. HIV? I'd say no. Something that can be treated with antibiotics or antivirals, maybe. It would really depend on my feelings and my connection to him. If I had any doubts about him, this information would probably put him in the 'no' column and I would move on. If he was someone that totally 'got' me and we developed an amazing relationship and he had everything else I was looking for? I could see marrying him.

If we're talking about something like Clamidia (sp?) that would effect your fertility then that brings me back to the beginning of this post. It depends. Don't surrender what you want from a mate, or from life. If you know what you want and he doesn't fit the description then the answer is 'no'.

Best,
Gina