Man commits suicide after learning Harry Potter spoiler

[Goldmund]

A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."

Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live."

Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston's house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter — and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate.

"When Jude got that vanity license plate that said 'Hogwarts,' that seemed harmless enough," said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. "But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help."

More: http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0705/borowitz070805.php3


:shrug:

Edit: this IS satire.

[Sannum]

1. Something tells me he had other problems.....

:crazy:

[ghostsofgiants]

2. Please tell me that is satire

If not, it's sad on way too many levels.

[CBGLuthier]

4. It is satire

At least according to google news. Plus the guy is a humor writer and that last line screams satire.

[Torgo Johnson]

7. Andy Horowitz is a satirical writer.

So the article is not true.

[Shell Beau]

8. Makes sense!

[ghostsofgiants]

13. Haha, well that's a relief

[Shell Beau]

3. I think he had some other issues, maybe?

:shrug: That is just bizarre.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

5. Here's the link on the author's own site:

www.borowitzreport.com/

And I have a high suspicion this is satire. Read the last line: Elsewhere, President Bush called the jailing of a New York Times reporter “a positive step,” but warned that many other reporters were still at large.

[Politicub]

6. Hmmm

I feel sorry for this guy. He must not have had a lot to live for or something.

[Not_Giving_Up]

9. Ah, the evil Harry Potter!

My fundie folks HATE that my children read the books and own the movies. How dare I expose my children to witchcraft and wizardry!

Of course this guy had problems that went way beyond Harry Potter, but the fundies will say that HP made this guy nutso.

[Obamarama]

10. They want federal intervention to prevent similar tragedies????

"Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston's death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place."

Sounds like they're all walking, talking freaks out of an X-Files episode.


ON EDIT: Thank the GODS this is satire. I thought it must be, but you just never know these days.

[ET Awful]

11. Maybe Hermione dies . . . the dude just had the hots for her and

couldn't live without her :) :) :)

[CJCRANE]

12. Got my wizard's hat on right now...

thought that was normal..?!

[Dervill Crow]

14. Oh man, this is so sad.

I cannot believe how gullible I am.

:banghead: