Does your cat have a dangerous job?

[Rabrrrrrr]

My cat does.

He flies the helicopter for our county's rescue team - you know, the guys who go looking for lost hikers, or help pull people out of forest fires, or go to the top of the mountains to help people, and such.

Every time he goes out in that damn I die a little inside from worry.

I wish he'd stop, but he's so committed to helping others, how could I ever ask him not to do this?

How do you deal with your cat's dangerous occupations?

[HysteryDiagnosis]

1. I use catnip... and he just flies around without his helicopter... lol....

[havocmom]

3. ever wanna sneak into a zoo at night with a couple bales of the stuff

and test it on BIG kitties? :evilgrin:

edited cuz I am a dope

[HysteryDiagnosis]

5. You are bad... you really are... now stand in the corner until those

thoughts are out of your head!!!

[havocmom]

8. That particular thought has been in my head for DECADES!

There is not a corner big enough to chase it out.

Wanna see pictures of my garden patch... where I grow BIG catnip crops?
Seriously, I can keep every cat within 4 miles stoned... All part of my research.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

10. Why yes, yes, I'd like that very much.....

[havocmom]

14. I have been pulling up catnip plants for years

but the patch keeps getting bigger. Do you know how many seeds one catnip plant produces? Gads, it would take a nuk-lar blast to kill them off.

[Patchuli]

2. My cats' most dangerous occupation

includes rolling off the top of the pillow they sleep on on the top of my couch to the couch cushions! Sleeping...it's a dangerous job but someone has to keep the back of the couch covered in fur!

Please elaborate more on Rescue-Cat!

[havocmom]

4. Spike Kitty wants to work for the Red Cross blood drives

She is very good at drawing blood.

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. That is very noble, indeed!

Cats are so selfless. Always out helping others.

Just be sure to tell kitty that she needs to be careful with other people's blood, not get any on her, in case they have infections or AIDS or something transmittable.

[havocmom]

11. She also strives to make the world safe from attack

shoe laces and red fruits & vegetables.

Wanna see her collection of small tomatoes, chilis, strawberries and beets?

[two gun sid]

6. My cat 'claims' he's involved with Homeland Security...

and he's hardly ever home at night. Personally, I think he's a liar.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

12. My "other cat" is a panther. He does whatever the hell he wants.

[Fiona]

9. My guy is

part of a special-ops team that clandestinely roams the neighborhood at night, beheading terrorist gophers.

[graywarrior]

13. My cat wears his DU t-shirt and sits on SUV's & pick up trucks with

Bush/Cheney stickers on them and pee's on the windshields. He does in in broad daylight.

[purr]

15. Mine begs for food.

Will sit there and beg for food. Wont get a job and no one will hire them - they cant write and only speak cat.

[The Great Escape]

16. My Cat Is A Food Tester For P Diddy....

he tests anyones food for that matter.

[skooooo]

17. My cat Grumpy (RIP) was a submarine driver..

...in WW2. Got a little water logged a time or two, but damn it, he fought for our freedom. Came home with only two or three teeth in his mouth.

[hickman1937]

18. My cat has a burning ambition to free the world from evil birds.

Unfortunately, he's not allowed outside. He's hell on spiders that manage to penetrate the outer perimeter(the door wall).
edit for crappy english.

[Zuni]

19. My cat unfortunately sells dope in Baltimore

and she is a junkie :cry:

She makes me suffer to no end

[skooooo]

20. Tough love...

...is the only thing you can do sometimes.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. Those damn cats.

Maybe if you were edgier, the cat would stop being a junkie.

[LynneSin]

21. My cats job is to protect me from creatures both real and invisible..

well, that's Evita's job. Abbott is a typical male who sits around on his furry fat ass all day making Evita do all the work while he just licks himself.

[WCGreen]

22. Yes, but I can't tell you about it....

[tjdee]

23. She's a muck about clown, quick change comedian, tightrope walker

and acrobat.

She has no regular occupation, she makes her home in Victoria Grove.
That's merely her center of operation, as she is incurably given to rove.

[skygazer]

24. My cat hunts terrorists

Usually diguised as rodents or avians, sometimes cleverly posing as lizards or snakes. We do a body count regularly - he has personally saved the nation from some 1000+ dangerous terrorists in his illustrious ten year career.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

28. My cat can beat up your cat..... pic....

[Jamastiene]

25. Yes.

My cats comfort my wimpy ass while there is a thunderstorm. I am such a wuss that storms scare me to death. I am not one of those people who freaks out over seeing snakes in the yard or even wild animals in a forest, but let that rolling thunder start and my knees get weak. My cat, Domino, got on the couch and actually used her paw and petted *ME* the other night during that bad storm the other night here in NC that spawned all those tornadoes. She instinctively knew I was nervous and scared. I'm normally sort of neurotic, but she was able to distinguish between my normal neuroses and my fear of the storm...I love my cats. They love me like no human ever would, unfortunately.

[SOteric]

26. Yer darn right he does!

It's his job to get me out of bed at 3:00 a.m., and if that's not dangerous, I don't know what is.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. I wouldn't want that job!

Well, actually, yes I would, now that I think about it.

But not the danger part.

[CatWoman]

30. My cat's job is to wake me up in the morning

which qualifies her for triple hazardous duty pay :D

[ornotna]

31. He sure does

Here he's guarding my wifes lap.




Dangerous work I tell ya.

[evlbstrd]

32. My cat's job is defending me from the attic fan.

Unfortunately, he lost. But he's doing quite well now. He's back on dry food.

[Not_Giving_Up]

33. All three of my cats have jobs

Dora protects us (through windows) from bluejays and geckos. It is also her job to bring me undergarments that I might have forgotten. She generally thinks that I forgot a thong, but sometimes she brings me a bra. Right out into the living room.

Bear protects us from tree roaches (those big, flying roaches). We live near woods, and they tend to get in. He catches them, and then plays with them until we kill them.

Scribbles tests the water that comes out of the bathroom sink. I cannot brush my teeth until she has made sure that the water is safe. she also makes sure that I don't drown by pawing open the shower door when I'm in there.

[tonekat]

34. He makes sure the bombs disguised as chipmunks

have no fuses, which are cleverly disguised as tails.

[Heidi]

35. We're not allowed to discuss Ginger's work. (nt)