This COURT is now in session: the people vs MATCOM

[yvr girl]

Matcom has made a fraudulent claim to be the BEST husband EVER.

This hurts his wife who had to buy her own washing machine AND suffer the disappointment of being denied a greyhound.

It is an affront to wives everywhere who are forced into drudgery by their no good husbands.

And it defrauds actual good husbands of their special standing.

As evidence, I present this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3627522

[xultar]

1. GUILTY!

[yvr girl]

4. We can't be hasty *wink* he gets to defend himself

we must be fair.

[xultar]

6. This is the lounge. Let's pronounce guilt so we can get to happy hour

early.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

2. BURN HIM!!!

[Wetzelbill]

3. oh good lord and butter

:popcorn:

[matcom]

5. fraudulent?

i think NOT!

what is missing from this story is the following:

- *I* bought the washing machine using our JOINT account
- *I* am the one who had to take off work to meet the delivery guys

as an aside....

- *I* do 100% of the grocery shopping
- *I* do 95% of ALL the cooking

case dismissed :P

[Texasgal]

7. Guilty still!

She never got the greyhound!!! :P

[matcom]

9. i now provide exhibit A

she doesn't NEED to greyhound!

[Texasgal]

31. Exhibit A

Is very cute, sir... but the no greyhound was a smash-up!!

Cruel and unusual punishment!

I hereby request the court to order no lovemaking for 3 months!!!

[blondeatlast]

65. Looks like the little charmer needs a sweet, svelte doggie pal.

As a greyhound lover myself, I refuse to recuse myself.

Get her the greyhound!

[yvr girl]

8. I'm sorry, you're out of order

Get yourself a lawyer, bud.

[matcom]

10. got it

case dismissed

[yvr girl]

13. You bring a dead lawyer into my courtroom

I'm charging you with contempt.

[matcom]

15. who the hell do you think you are?

?

[yvr girl]

20. I am speaking for this group

[GOPisEvil]

55. If the King-Size comforter don't fit, you must acquit.

[blondeatlast]

66. He matches the dancing hippo, too! Impressive... nt

[Misunderestimator]

11. What's the 5% of the cooking that MrsMatcom does?

That's what I'm curious about.

[matcom]

12. lasagna

and chicken fried steak

[Misunderestimator]

Ah... in that case... I do about 1% of the cooking...

occassionally cutting and washing vegetables. :D It's GOOD to be married to a cook. :thumbsup:

[NightNurse]

16. Sounds like OUR House, Matcom !

:pals: Innocent!:pals:

[matcom]

18. YYYYYAAAAAYYYYY

:hug:

[LynneSin]

14. I found this evidence in a local London paper

It has to be matcom, I just know it!!

[yvr girl]

17. Your evidence seem irrefutable to me

It is Exhibit B

[LynneSin]

19. I also had a sign from God that told me of Matcom's sins....

[yvr girl]

21. I had no idea you and the big guy were so tight

Cool.

[LynneSin]

27. Yeah, well I think this sign might explain your thread!!

[yvr girl]

40. Well she is a good kisser

But Matcom has a fine ass. I'm so torn.

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. Another piece of evidence....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3629079&mesg_id=3629079

What kind of husband would subject his wife to that, I ask?

[xultar]

45. He wouldn't let Mrs Matcom get a GREYHOUND. He mus go under the jail

now!

[hyphenate]

23. I can't say "guilty" without some reasonable doubt

I say we wait until later in the summer when we have another meetup and get Mrs. Matcom's side of the story for additional evidence. As long as it's not on the SECOND hottest day of the freaking year!!!

I still think the pug needs a greyhound playmate. :D

[yvr girl]

26. Did you not see Mrs.Matcom testimony in the linked thread

It seems pretty strong to me.

[hyphenate]

44. Yes, it does

but it needs to be recorded into the court transcripts to look official. We can't use conversations that were imparted to someone else--it would be considered hearsay.

But what the hell....Matcom will do quite well in jail. We'll have to bribe one of the big guys to be his protector though, and to keep him around for.....well, you know. ;)

[WilliamPitt]

24. Do you deny that your dog is ugly as sin? Don't wait for the translation!

Answer me now!

[matcom]

28. again. exhibit A

[yvr girl]

32. You make a good point, but how does that make him a bad husband?

I need you to connect the dots Mr. Pitt.

[JimmyJazz]

25. I say he's GUILTY:

[LynneSin]

33. I think you're guilty for posting that damn picture

and causing everyone an earworm!

[JimmyJazz]

39. My job here is finished.

[Midlodemocrat]

29. If it pleases the court, I would like to submit the following into

evidence that totally supports yvrgirl's claim.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3518831

[matcom]

34. LOW BLOW!!

that cannot be entered into evidence! MISTRIAL!! MISTRIAL!!

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

35. I do not recall you saying that when you posted this.

I think this totally sums up the case and we should force you to buy mrs. matcom a new dryer as well.

[yvr girl]

36. *gasps of shock an horror*

Reporters run from the courtroom to do a live feed.

[matcom]

37. MISTRIAL!! MISTRIAL!!

double jepordy or somthing like that :think:

[yvr girl]

46. Mr. Matcom, do you have NO character witnesses?

None?

[matcom]

57. DS1 will vouch for me

:D

[Misunderestimator]

42. *mutter mutter mutter*

Order in the court...

[yvr girl]

43. delete

[xultar]

47. Order in the court! ORDER IN THE COURT! GUILTY!!! GUILTY!!!

[no name no slogan]

30. Hang Him First!

and if he's innocent, well....

[LynneSin]

38. Yes, but it seems that God is on Matcom's side

[Midlodemocrat]

41. That is an absolute hoot.

[no name no slogan]

49. Damn, that's wikked-kewl!

Gonna get me a life-size one of those!

[xultar]

51. It appears that God has changed her mind.

[madinmaryland]

48. Nancy Grace weighs in:

GUILTY

That is, Nancy Grace is guilty

[yvr girl]

50. Mrs. Matcom did your husband order the washing machine?

While it is true that Matcom did actually sit down and fill out the order online, he failed to mention that I researched the front end washers for weeks. The only reason the defendant ordered it, was because it was the last day of the sale or I would have gone to the store the next day and purchased it on my own.
It is also true that Matcom does 100% of the grocery shopping and 95% of the cooking, but what he fails to mention is that I do 100% of the dishes. He doesn’t even put his dirty dishes into the dish washer for crying out loud!!
He also fails to mention that I clean the two bathrooms, and wash and change the sheets and towels, and clean the cat box, and take care of paying all the bills.

[matcom]

58. LIAR!!

i DEMAND a polygraph!

i cleaned the cat box

























































once :hide:

[Beer Snob-50]

52. if it pleases the court....

i submit that the gentlemen in question did his wife a favor by ordered a new washer. what could she do?? go to the public laudermat? there is always the chance of being accosted! bang the clothes on a rock in a stream? what is this, the 1800's?

while mr matcom does dinner, she can wash a couple of loads of clothes and spend "quality" time with the man of her dreams.

i rest my case.

[matcom]

59. I'm FREE!!

iii'''''''''''mmmmmmmmm FFFFFFRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[SOteric]

53. No, no, this entirely hinges on one question only.

Did Mrs.Matcom marry him to obtain a washing machine and a greyhound, or did Mrs.Matcom marry him to obtain unrestricted access to his pert, nekkid backside?

If the former, matcom sucks. If the latter, matcom could well be the excellent husband he claims to be.

[matcom]

60. she married me for my money

my ASS is a 'perk' :D

[DS1]

54. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNNN

his weed

[kick-ass-bob]

56. NOOOO!!! MATCOM must have the best defense... to the rescue:

Matcom: Matlock.
Matlock: Matcom.

Serve him well.

[matcom]

61. bless you Bob

*sniff*

bless you

[RPM]

62. DISMISSED - for failure to state a claim, this court dismisses the action.

make a better case for fraud.

[matcom]

63. kicking so Mrs Matcom can read

:bounce:

[yvr girl]

64. But did she kick you?

That's the question.

Also, did you get your 'present?'

[matcom]

67. do a search

in fact, i started a thread THANKING YOU :P

[sendero]

68. I'm for any conviction...

.... that will ban the use of that walking happy ass in his signature :)