Singles: Ever think that you're destined to be alone?

[hyphenate]

I do sometimes. I don't yearn for anyone, for one thing. And sometimes I see marrieds with their secret little language or public display of affection, and I just can't see myself in that role. It's not hatred or envy or jealousy or anything, just an observation on my part that perhaps the world is divided into those who want and/or need to be together with someone else, and those who have decided that other things in their life are a priority to having a companion.

I remember when I graduated from school--an all girls school--and some people didn't even bother going to college--they went out right off the bat and got married or engaged. And there were those who went to college strictly on the thought that they would find a husband.

I tended to roll my eyes at women who would do just about anything to get a husband, and it made me ill to see the shameful behavior women did to secure that.

I had "boyfriends" at various points, but there was no urgent "need" for them to be more than just very good friends. I still have several male friends, but none of them are the type I would marry or spend my life with.

Perhaps I'm a true oddball, but perhaps, again, I am not. How about other singles out there? Feel the same way?

[LastKnight]

1. sometimes, quite frankly... yes.

and whats the point of looking for it anyway - it just exudes an air of desperation. ive always found that letting it find me is the best way to do things. and it may never find me, who knows. or it may walk into my life tomorrow and decide it wants to make a home. thats why i hate it. i dont like unpredictible things in that respect.

so- do i think im meant to be alone? i donno. do i mind if i am? not really.

[tjdee]

6. ITA--looking kind of smacks of desperation, even if you're not desperate.

It feels like you're putting on a show or something, which seems kind of wrong.

:shrug:

[no name no slogan]

9. The trick is to "stop looking"

When I did that, I met my (ex-)wife. We were together ten years.

Waitaminute,... nevermind :dunce:

[cdsilv]

2. ...well I'm single (divorced), and I've experienced both....

....and I'll tell you that being married to the 'right' person is heaven on earth. The problem is the makeup of the 'right' person changes over the years for both people and that's what causes so many divorces.

All in all, I prefer being married, but I'm not actively pursuing a relationship right now.

Maybe later....

[tridim]

3. I don't believe in destiny per se

But I prefer living alone, at least for now. I like to have full control of my life. That said, I'm sure if I ever meet the right girl I'll change my tune. I'd be happy to share my life with the right person, just not give up half of it.

We're all oddballs in the eyes of tradition. Nothing wrong with that IMO.

[mcscajun]

4. I don't know about "destined", but at this point in my life,

I figure I'm bound to be alone for the rest of it.

I could be wrong.

I've been married twice, been on my own for the past 16 years, and I'm not actively looking. Someone will have to batter the door down to get into my life.

[tjdee]

5. Yeah, and frankly it pisses me off--but what's worse is the thought that

I will find 'the one'/'a guy who wants to marry me' when I'm like, 80 in a wheelchair. Which would be sweet, blah blah blah, but I mean, damn.

But the thought of dating is kind of repulsive. No way to meet someone without dating, though.

[smirkymonkey]

7. I feel the same way.

I am not terribly opposed to it, should someone wonderful come along who feels the same way about me as I do about them, but I don't have a great need to be coupled.

It seems like so many people really NEED somebody else, whereas I really NEED my space and alone time. I am much more interested in finding some kind of work, project or cause that I feel passionately about than in finding a mate. I think what makes me feel so out of sync is that I just don't get the desperation so many people feel in their search for a partner.

Also, I have never found anybody I like enough or feel compatible enough with to commit to a lifetime together, or even to live with. I am socially skilled, but by nature an introvert, and I have know of no greater hell than to be stuck with someone I can't stand. At least on my own, I know what to expect.

[DIKB]

8. I've accepted

that I may very well die alone.

[Karenina]

10. I prefer being alone

to being in bad company.

[Wcross]

23. Everybody dies alone (unless you do a murder/suicide).....

I have heard that bit, "you don't want to die alone"! What the hell does it matter? Dead is dead.

[xultar]

11. MEEE!

[ET Awful]

12. Yup, I'm fairly convinced of it by now.

The one person I was ever involved with that I thought might change that ended up screwing me over royally.

Anymore, I feel like . . . hey, it'd be nice, but I don't count on it happening and I'm sure not actively seeking it.

[Kathleen04]

13. Well,

I'm convinced that I have an uncanny ability to fly under the radar..I'd like to think that I have a good personality and decent looks..haven't gottten any takers.. :shrug:

But I have more male friends than I have had before, I may be the type that you "have to get to know" first before I can be seen to have any appeal, I don't know.

I'm young so I'd like to not think that I'm "destined to be alone", there's a part of me that enjoys my space but another that would really enjoy spending my time with the right person.

[Pharlo]

14. Not destined. Not resigned.

I like being alone and I enjoy living by myself.

(Alone as you can be with 3 dogs and a cat.)

[caty]

15. People who get married just

for the sake of getting married is what makes the divorce rate at about 52%. You'll know if you meet someone you could marry. Everything will just fall into place. And, if you don't get married--that's alright. Think of how many people get married young, get divorced or widowed, and spend the next 20 or 30 years alone. Just about all of us spend years alone at certain points in our lives. And we prosper, we have fun, we have friends, and we keep learning. We're great.

[Wapsie B]

24. Yeah, I'm guilty of what you talk about

in your first sentence. Things don't fall into place just because you're married. Quite the contrary.

[BooScout]

16. I used to.......

I loved living alone. I dated sure, but no one was ever "the one".....I just could not see myself being with someone else the rest of my life. I was perfectly happy and not looking for anyone when Bam!..... at the age of 41 I met "someone" on-line (and I was the first person to tell you that the weirdest people are on the www, lol) through a mutual friend and just knew...........he moved over 4000 miles to be with me and now we are moving over 4000 miles back to his home. I can't imagine being alone now.

Don't sweat it though.......just be happy.......either alone or with someone.

[Tallison]

17. WAAAYYYY better to be alone than to wish you were... n/t

[Trigger Hippie]

18. I don't know about destined,

but I think I will be single the rest of my life. It's just too damn hard for me to find and maintain a good relationship. Hell, I've never done it before, don't really want to. I like being alone as long as I have friends and family. :)

[KG]

19. single life rocks so hard!

not sure i even care about hooking up anymore.

and always remember, self love is where it's at!

[johnnie]

20. I like being single 95% of the time

If there is one thing I don't want ot do, it's to settle. I have seen that and it doesn't work. It is worse than being alone when you settled and it's catching up to you.
If I were to meet a woman that I clicked with a lot, then I would think about it more, but I haven't met anyone that I would feel right "spending my life with".
I think marriage and all that stuff is fine, but I have seen too many good people go down and it is always sad to watch happen.

[MissMillie]

21. Very often I think this

and any time it looks like I have a chance to prove it wrong, that chance usually ends up being all for naught. I can't seem to find one that wants to stick around. They all want to have one foot out the door.

[hippiechick]

22. Yes, and the concept is becoming groovier as I get older .

No in-law drama
No sharing of the tv/computer/bed
No smelly socks/undies to wash
No snoring/farting/belching

And a healthy roster of single younger men to pass the time with.

:)

[Trigger Hippie]

25. Yes!

Good ideas all!

[Wcross]

26. I will never marry.

I have no interest in that kind of lifestyle. It seems to me that married couples have to have a committee meating about every little thing in life. Me, I just do what I want, when I want.
When I learned the dirtist little secret about marriage I was convinced married life wasn't for me. Apparently you DON'T get to have sex anytime you feel like it! I can not have sex anytime I feel like it being single, why put up with all the associated bullshit?

[In_The_Wind]

27. it sorta looks that way

I've been single, married, lived together without being married :shrug: they all have their plus and minus aspects. I know I'll never get married again somehow getting married ruined a wonderful friendship. I've grown to enjoy having my own space ~ if something is missing ... it's because I misplaced it (unless the dog took it but they're not as mischievous my cats were in that way). If I want to grab a bite to eat while I'm out I can. Unfortunately when you live in the suburbs as I do meeting people to date isn't all that easy. I'm 50 miles from the nearest city so on-line dating sites truly are a waste of money. I have friends but I haven't found anyone that I've wanted to date in a long time. If someone interesting shows in my life I'm open to dating again but I'm not looking for a full time roommate.

No, I don't think you're an oddball.