Roast the Boss?

[HEFFA]

I'm presenting at a roast for the departing vice principal of the high school that I work at. Does anyone have any good one-liners to contribute?

He's a great guy with a great sense of humor, and I want to put together a brief speech about him that will cover some of his life and his work experiences.

He's originally from a rural area (redneck jokes?).

He's been married for many years and has five children.

He's known (quietly) for being "frugal" with his money.

He's moving on to another job in a smaller, more rural community.

Of course, any less than flattering jokes about his job performance would be perfect.

Thanks in advance for anything that you might have to contribute!

[meegbear]

1. A toast!

Here's to <name>, a hell of a pal
Every girl's guy and every guy's gal
He's the topper, he's the most, he can sing, he can dance
And he frightens the horses when he lowers his pants

[HEFFA]

2. Thanks :o)

[Rhiannon12866]

3. Well, he's obviously not old enough for this one, but it made me laugh.

You can make adjustments and decide if he'd take it well.

There was a couple who had been married for 50 years and they had nine children. One day they were sitting across the table from each other and the husband turned to his wife and said, "Helen, we've been married for 50 years and we have nine children. And there's something that's always bothered me. Why is it that the youngest one doesn't look at all like the others?" His wife hesitated, then she answered. "Well," she said, "he has a different father than the others..." "What?!" exclaimed her husband. "Who is it?!! I have to know!!!" So his wife answered, "you."

Sorry that this isn't a one-liner, but I thought it was funny. It's the long marriage and five kids that made me think of it. Too racy for the schoolyard?:shrug:

[HEFFA]

4. It can be modified

Definitely not too racy. He's got a great sense of humor (which is why we decided to roast him), and I've already got some biting remarks about his marriage, wife, and kids in there. This is a nice addition. Thanks!

[Rhiannon12866]

5. Here's a couple more...

"Come on, you have to go to school!"

"Okay, give me two good reasons WHY I should go to
school."

"One, you are fifty-two years old. Two, you are the principal!"



Principals deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn't need it! (followed by a drum riff!)

Good luck with this!:hi: