Delicate issue: How would you handle it...

[Darth_Kitten]

Someone at work has bad body odour. It's been a long term thing. :(

:scared: I'm working beside this guy right now (summer coverage) but the gals who work next to this guy on a regular basis came up to me today and asked how I could stand it! (and plus they sprayed air freshener around)

Seems they've gone to management, but the supervisor always passes the buck. "Why don't you say something to him?"
Well, they aren't comfortable doing that, they have to work with him all year round, me, I get to go back to my regular desk.

It's really quite bad apparently, and maybe it's good that at work my sinuses act up and I really cannot breathe it all in. :scared: But it is pretty bad.

What do we do? Or rather, what can they do, besides leave an anonymous stick of deoderant on his desk? :scared:

help! ;)

[merwin]

1. Talk with your supervisor first.

If the supervisor refuses to do anything, talk with human resources.

Contrary to popular belief, bad BO is definately something you can make a stink out of.

[Darth_Kitten]

4. according to the gals...

the supervisor will say something if they say something first and it gets nowhere. (this supervisor is known for doing this, trust me)

this makes them very uncomfortable. :(

Maybe human resources is the next step.

[merwin]

11. That is the wrong way for a supervisor to handle it.

There's a reason that they're called the supervisor. I would politely talk with your supervisor, who will most likely say the same thing... then go to human resources and talk with them. I guarantee that HR will take care of it :-)

[Darth_Kitten]

15. We all have the same sup....

:(

[bluestateguy]

2. Scented candle

Air freshner, etc. Eventually he will get the message. He is either inconsiderate of others and does not care what people think, or he has no ability to smell odors and doesn't know there is a problem.

[AlienGirl]

10. ...or possibly he has a metabolic disorder

There are some metabolic disorders that make people smell icky.

Tucker

[Spinzonner]

3. Just say it in a non-accusatory, non-judgmental way

Most guys are not that sensitive about such comments. Of course, they're also not that senitive to the issue in the first place.

If you don't have the courage for that, leave an anonymous note with the same tone to it when no one will see you leave it.

[Lannes]

5. Ask him nicely if he just came from the gym

If he asks why say "no reason" he should get the hint.

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. I have an awful story to share.

Back when I was in the video business about 15 years ago, I hired a nice woman who was nice, attractive and friendly, but she smelled really, really bad. My boss, the owner of the company, made me sit down and have a conversation about it with this woman. Well, how can you possibly be tactful about something like that? I said something like, "I think you're doing a great job, but some people have complained about an odor..." With that, she stormed out crying, and I never saw her again.

Her boyfriend called me later to yell at me.

I say leave it alone. It's not worth it. I've never felt so low.

[Darth_Kitten]

18. The gals are finding it very offensive though....

they raced into my section the second he was gone and started spraying the Febreeze everywhere and asking if I was okay.

I told them, yeah, I was still okay. :(

[punpirate]

7. Does he have any friends at work?

People that get along well with him, that he trusts? If he does, talk to one of them and explain that you're sure the guy isn't aware of it, but that he's working around some really sensitive noses and it's distracting people from their work, etc., and could this friend talk to him about.

That's the least invasive way I can think of to do it.

Cheers.

[Darth_Kitten]

13. His friends are people that hate me....

and he and I have had words because of things they've fed him, so I'm the last one to say anything to them.

Besides, the last time I saw the supervisor about some work related blowout, she wanted me to "talk" things over with him.

But I could advise the gals who are near him all the time to get together and see the supervisor, then maybe she'll be forced to do something.

[SmokingJacket]

8. What's so wrong with the anonymous stick of deodorant?

Face to face confrontation is hard to do and will certainly hurt the guy's feelings. Put some deodorant on his desk and a nice little note. That way he'll get the message but won't attach it to any particular person in the office.

If I was the stinker, I'd be much more willing to take advice from an anonymous source than someone specific -- it's like a matter of pride.

"Why should I listen to that bitch Debbie? She's just jealous because I get the good assigments, God, I hate her."

vs.

"What's with the deodorant? Oh, shit. Do I really smell that bad? Maybe that Tom's of Maine crap is no good, or maybe I've been forgetting it some mornings. Shit, how embarassing. Who was it? Maybe that bitch Debbie. I don't know. Fuck. Oh, well, better clean up."

[Darth_Kitten]

14. The girls are planning to do that....

and I said NO, he'll think it was me. :( He doesn't care for me I think. Long story.

:(

[Straight Shooter]

16. Bwahaha, I was going to recommend putting a T of Maine on the desk.

Leave it there, and wait for the "offender" to make a remark about it. IOW, don't put it on his desk, put it on your own.

And then you can say, "Wow, have you ever tried this stuff? It's great. It has a really wonderful scent. Here, take a whiff."

If he says, "Yeah, that smells good," then say, "Why don't you take it with you, I've got plenty at home."

________________________

Or maybe buy a whole bunch of Tom's of Maine deodorant sticks and give them as a gift to everyone in the office to celebrate, oh, I don't know, some kind of holiday or occasion that everyone could relate to. Always best not to put the offender on the spot or in the spotlight, let them save face.

edit to add: include the deodorant in a little gift basket so it's not so obvious :)

[ret5hd]

9. ok ok...i'm sorry...

I GET THE HINT! I WILL SHOWER TONITE! I PROMISE!

you don't have to post it on an internationally read board, ya know.

[LaurenG]

12. it is the job of his supervisor

to let him know that the dress code includes good hygiene. No more passing the buck, tell the boss we said it's their job to help him out.

[caty]

17. Sometimes you have to just step up

and do what needs to be done as tackfully as possible.

[wellstone dem]

19. A couple of suggestions

This happened at our office a number of years ago, someone just took the guy aside and talked to him and the problem was taken care of. I think he was grateful. It happened with a woman too, and someone sat down and talked with her about whether something was wrong (she hadn't smelled before) because it seemed like she wasn't taking good care of herself. It turned out she was suffering from severe depression and was relieved someone asked.

But given your relationship that might not work.

How about handing sample size deodorant out to everyone, with maybe an email that you asked on a discussion board how to handle working with someone with body oder and a brilliant woman suggested giving a sample size deodorant to everyone and sending out an email to everyone so that no one is embarassed.