Valuable lessons learned by Wally and the Beaver. (humor)

[Deep13]

At the end of every episode of Leave it to Beaver, Wally and the Beaver always learned a valuable lesson. What lessons did they learn?

A little Vaseline prevents hula-hoop chafing.

We must like Ike or the communists have already won.

Secret to Ward’s even temper: that ain’t tobacco in his pipe.

Jesus: white, not Jewish, drives a DeSoto.

Don’t let Eddie Haskell gouge you on the wholesale price of heroin.

Don’t ask about Ward’s Korean war bride.

Always stab up into the abdomen, never down into the ribcage.

When hustling after school, get the money up front.

The Russians put that dog in space just to bark at our satellites.

If June works outside the home, the communists have already won.

Yo-yos come in many different colors. It is important to draw distinctions and preconceptions based on those colors.

Never get into a car with Lumpy’s father. Just don’t. Because I’m your father and I say so, goddammit!

Buckshot cannot be traced to a specific firearm.

A Studebaker trunk holds three men or four women.

Make sure you have a “safe word.”

Don’t ask June why she needs duct tape in the bathroom.

When raiding Ward’s liquor cabinet, remember that he keeps his single-malts in the back.

Atomic-powered cars should be available any day now.

Next time, wear a mask.

Never watch another Frank Cappra film. Ever.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat and it is important to try them all.

If we make cars safe, the communists have already won.

Always obey the rules of the road. Otherwise, the cops might pull you over and search the trunk.

Vegetables are only for decoration.

A small amount of quick lime will keep the bodies from smelling.

Always use a pseudonym when fencing merchandise.

A street gang is a serious commitment because when you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet from your first cigarette to your last dying breath.

Before going to sleep, check under the bed for communists and Lumpy’s dad.

[Smarmie Doofus]

1. Repect Fred Rutherford... or else. N/T

[Coventina]

2. I realize this is tongue-in-cheek....but I have to defend

Leave It To Beaver whenever I have the opportunity.

LITB was actually a PROGRESSIVE show for its time.

It was the first TV show to show a toilet (yes, people actually have bodily functions).

It tackled "tough" issues (for the time) such as divorce, child abuse and animal rights. And it always came out in favor of the "liberal" opinion.

Yes, June was a stay-at-home-mom. But she was no doormat. She never hesitated to call Ward on the carpet when he was making mistakes. And what's more important, Ward listened to and respected her and always took her warnings and advice and used them. They had a playful, relaxed relationship, not a formal master-servant one.

Yeah, there is a lot of what we consider "corny" now. But overall, I think the show deserves a lot more respect than it gets.

[Deep13]

3. kick

:kick:

[Deep13]

6. encore

:kick: :yoiks:

:think: :hi:

[Deep13]

7. one last time

:kick:

[cleofus1]

4. when you comb your hair into a "duck tail"

a saxaphone jazz riff will play for comic effect...(wally)

[Deep13]

5. Wally should quit the swim team, ...

... so his jelly-roll doesn't get messed up in the water.