It's an awfully strange social dynamic

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

I'm thinking back to last week's "Pull-toy" contest where 20 men or so were nominated as desirable in some way. And the guy who won felt all embarrassed and a little humiliated by it.

Then I'm looking at the front page today, and I see this one post where a bunch of guys all piled on to gush about one (that's just one, folks) admittedly lovely lady.

I looked through that pictures thread and I have to ask, that's it? You've got all those (profanity here) gorgeous women posting to this place and folks are only able to make a fuss about one of them? No wonder you've got all these "Am I cute?" threads popping up. I don't doubt a few of them are feeling taken for granted.

And looks aren't even the half of it. I've only been reading and posting a little bit for a month or so, but you've got some bright, funny, kind and sassy women (and men too) posting here.


Ladies of DU, -all umpteen thousand of you: :loveya: :yourock:

[Richardo]

1. Very astute observation for a newbie, Laszlo...welcome to DU

you've got some bright, funny, kind and sassy women (and men too) posting here.

...and a :toast: to ALL the witty, smart, politically astute, smartass women at DU!

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

4. I've actually been here since September

so I've had a little while to read and get used to folks.

:hi:

[TrogL]

2. You have to remember

There's a fairly heavy (OK, hefty in some cases) gay contingent on here.

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

7. As true as that is..

The 20 guys were singled out for attention by two women, - and the 1 woman was singled out for attention by 20 guys. :shrug:

[youngred]

3. THE WHO'S CUTER THREADS ARE A JOKE

its not a serious competition or seeking validation or anything like that.

Looks matter for shit, especially here. and yeah...all DUers rock!

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

6. Well, that's a relief, but it doesn't change the social dynamic

Think about it.

20 guys got singled out for attention, - but only one woman...

[VelmaD]

10. Well, actually, it was 1 guy...

poor JohnKleeb who got most of the attention. Hee. He may never recover.

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

11. Tell that to Mattcom, Will Pitt and Forest Gump

I seem to remember a spirited competition for a while, and quite a lot of folks popping up to wonder why Some Moron got more votes than they did, or why they'd been left off the vote entirely.

I'm just saying all lot more ladies deserve attention here, for a lot more than just the great way they look.

(Yours was a pretty nice picture, too, by the way).

[VelmaD]

27. Thank you kind sir

I suppose I just figured Forrest and Matcom and Will were having fun playing with each other. They're big boys...their egos can take it. If we inadvertantly hurt anyone's feelings I'm really sorry. I love all our DU guys. Liberal guys ROCK!

[youngred]

12. well go back through the records of the lounge

and you will see many many many threads devoted to the gorgeousness of DU women in general, not as many about they guys, but some. One thread about pull toys and one expression of finding another member attractive does not consititute an accurate representation of the Lounge social dynamic.

think about it :-)

edit: spelling

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

16. You misunderstand the point I'm making

I'm not talking about the entirety of what makes up the social arrangements in the Lounge. I'm only talking about the the cognative disonance in seeing 20 guys held up as desirable in two separate posts, as well as several ancillary posts on that subject the same evening vs. only one woman singled out.

If the history of the Lounge is to periodically break out in praise over one woman or another, I haven't seen it in the time I've been here, and I haven't heard about it from the folks that encouraged me to look into this community.

What I did see, that same night was a post asking which DU woman folks wanted to see topless, handing out candy, and all but a two guys declined to make any statement about that at all. (Which, considering, was wise).

I don't have the resources to go back farther than I have in making my observations. I'm newish, I can't do searches or start polls, and I have more going on in my life that would be required for going back a fair ways to read the available history of the Lounge.

I'm saying what I see: Lots of guys/only one girl. I can't fathom that. You guys have a lot of great women here.

[youngred]

21. We know we do!

I'm still not certain i follow though. There are many many extremely attractive DU women. There in the past have been some that objected to the objectification of women by posting threads like that.

Start a DU women appreciation thread. i'm sure it would go over quite well

[supernova]

5. Why thank you, Lazlo

The Women of DU are always in a mood to be adored, worshipped and sexed until we collapse with exhaustion.

:bounce: :evilgrin: :bounce: :evilgrin:

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

8. I'll just be writing that down

for future reference. :evilgrin:

[Kamika]

9. great post

Altough i dont get why anyone should care whether or not some anon user on a internet forum cares how you look.

Its nice to know how others look, but when ppl starts saying he/she looks better then he/she things are getting ugly

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

13. Agreed.

If it turns into a beauty pagent, someone's going to feel hurt, left out or marginalized.

But really, so many women of substance here I wonder why it's even an issue that there's some new pretty young thing. :shrug:

[JohnKleeb]

14. Am I the guy who was embarassed lol

Yeah I was kinda, I am just really weird.

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

19. I think I might have been too

- And I'm a lot older than you. ;-)

[JohnKleeb]

20. Yeah I just screw around

Its my nature. I am only acting like I am pissed.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

15. ZACK AND I WERE JOKING

We're friends and thought it would be funny. I don't think people take the women for granted at all. I didn't start the thread because I felt insecure, I started it because it was a joke! sheesh. lighten up this is the DU lounge, don't read into ANYTHING posted here.

Maggie

[toddzilla]

17. i'm just bummed that none of them live here.

:mad:

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

18. It's really not about the 'cuter' threads

It's about the Pull-toy threads of last week vs. the thread of today saying something like 'Raise your hand if you think <this one person> is gorgeos."

There are a lot of gorgeous, smart, funny women here. I thinkt he girl in the thread is very pretty. But I think a lot of women here are very pretty, -even as pretty and I don't understand why there isn't more about them.

I promise to try not to read into anything here, if you'll try to actually read what I'm saying and respond to that. It's not about you.

And I didn't complain about the hundreds of cuter threads, I said they didn't surprise me. Honestly, you only know why you started yours...you can't know why everyone else started theirs.

[toddzilla]

22. it's like listening to a DJ for a while

then you see a picture of them and you're always suprised by what they look like. at least i think that's part of it.

[Stone Cold]

23. all the ladies (guys, if you swing that way) on the DU are sexy as hell...

....besides, these polls are all fun and games anyways. No need to take them seriously. :)

[alwynsw]

24. Fun or not, I'M PISSED!

I have yet to see even ONE glamorous chicken post. It's unfair I tell ya!

[Stone Cold]

25. sorry....

...I ate the glamorous chicken. Tasted like chicken. :evilgrin:

[SOteric]

26. Thanks, Laszlo.

I think men of DU are a bit sensitive about holding the ladies up as examples of beauty, owing to some smack-downs for lewd or boorish behaviour earlier this year.

[Rhiannon12866]

28. I agree with SOteric

Plus, this is only one of numerous fads that come and go, like posts about yaks or "ask me anything" threads. When someone starts one, copycat or threads parodying it pop up like toadstools. I've been here for quite awhile, though have been off for a few days, and this is a new one on me.:shrug:

I understand your point, but it is just the latest fad. Next week we'll be back to yaks again. Welcome to DU, Laszlo_Hollyfeld! Glad to have you with us!:toast:

[populistmom]

29. Hmm... not sure what to make of this thread

I think people are just having fun. I don't really worry about it. But on the other hand for me, I don't think I'd post "I am cute" either. Cuteness is very subjective. I think I'm attractive. I probably fit a sort of quasi-ideal American WASPy standard even, but I'm a size 12 and some men like skinny chicks with long legs (don't have that). Some men like dark hair or short hair or curly hair(don't have that). Some men like a handful and I'm more than a handful. Some men like lots of things that I'm not and that's okay. I don't need to make myself feel good or bad based on someone else's opinions.

[Rhiannon12866]

30. This is the forum for silliness and there has been a lot, lately

As for my opinion, I think attraction is somewhat of a chemical thing. Someone who I think is very attractive might do nothing for you and vice versa. I think we're made that way for a reason. It would be the end of life as we know it if we all fell for the same guy/girl!:-)