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101 Reasons Why He's David Bowie......

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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:54 PM
Original message
101 Reasons Why He's David Bowie......
......And You're Not



--David uses his spare time
For dreaming up new styles
He never spends his Mondays
In the bathroom, grouting tiles

David shaved both eyebrows
And the net effect was arty
He never had just one done
While unconcious at a party

David in his sixth decade
Still has a head of hair on
And not some strands resembling
A barcode printed thereon

David orders goodies
From an oriental teashop
He doesn't trawl for bargains
In the pound & 50p shop

David put on make-up
And a dress, in search of glamour
And unlike you, he wasn't chased
By skinheads with a hammer

David says "Good evening.
Here's a song of mine from Low ."
And never: "Orright, Dog's Head?
This is one by Status Quo..."

Another thing with David
Is he keeps himself in trim
But the single biggest difference
Is: your wife still fancies him.--- Martin Newell

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Kikosexy2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Ziggy...
played guitar!....with God given ass...well-hung snow white tan...
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Should we crush his sweet hands?
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Kikosexy2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:20 PM
Response to Reply #2
12. Ooooohhh...
nnnnnoooooo! never my love!
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jedicord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. Reality
His latest album and it rocks. Unlike other old rockers, he's still putting out new and great music.

Went to his Reality tour last year with my 24-year old niece. She was hooked.

When asked the question: "Who would you most like to talk to?" my answer is always Bowie.

OK, he's my fave.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
3. People were all wrong about Eric Clapton
David Bowie was god for shits sake!
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Agreed!
...still is, actually.

david
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Although he took that step from godhood to craphood in the 80's
With "Lets Dance" and "Blue Jean"...of course he could get away with it because he IS Bowie, and selling out was just another suit he tried on...
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jedicord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Stevie Ray Vaughn was the guitarist on Let's Dance
Edited on Thu Jul-14-05 01:13 PM by jedicord
Bowie's friggin' brilliant - especially with his choice of guitarists.

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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. You won't get any argument from me.
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Dhalgren Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. If Bowie isn't diety, then I don't care to worship.
Always love Bowie
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #3
15. yes!
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SouthoftheBorderPaul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:08 PM
Response to Original message
9. God, I wish I'd written that poem.
That's Bwilliant. Tah-wiffic! :toast:
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. I think you'd enjoy Newell a lot.
http://idiot-dog.com/jangly/

He's a great songwriter too.
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
13. Bowie is...well, Bowie
His best song though is this one:

I was walking down the High Street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (Hello)
In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (laughter)
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (Oaah..)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day (laughter)

Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office
(Gnome Office)
Yes
(Hahahahaha)

CHORUS
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Said the laughing Gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (Burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
(Haven't you got a light boy?)
"Here, where do you come from?"
(Gnome-man's land, hahihihi)
"Oh, really?"

In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He'd bought him along to sing me a song

Right, let's hear it
Here, what's that clicking noise?
(That's Fred, he's a "metrognome", haha)

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"

(Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha)
"Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?"
(No, we're gnomads)
"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school?
you look like a rolling gnome."
(No, not at the London School of Ecognomics)

Now they're staying up the chimney
And we're living on caviar and honey (hooray!)
Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
It's the-er (what?)
It's the Gnome service of course

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha ha ha, oh, dear me

(Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee
"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me")

(One more time, yeah)
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4_Legs_Good Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. My favorite is probably "Cygnet Committee"
Though all of Ziggy Stardust is close, especially "Five Years"...

Cygnet Committee (off "Man of Words, Man of Music" aka "Space Oddity"

I bless you madly, sadly as I tie my shoes
I love you badly, just in time, at times, I guess
Because of you I need to rest
Because it's you that sets the test

So much has gone and little is new
And as the sparrow sings
Dawn chorus for
Someone else to hear
The Thinker sits alone growing older
And so bitter

"I gave Them life
I gave Them all
They drained my very soul...dry
I crushed my heart to ease Their pains
No thought for me remains there
Nothing can They spare
What of me?
Who praised Their efforts to be free?
Words of strength and care and sympathy
I opened doors that would have blocked Their way
I braved Their cause to guide, for little pay
I ravaged at my finance just for Those
Those whose claims were steeped in peace, tranquility
Those who said a new world, new ways ever free
Those whose promises stretched in hope and grace for me"

I bless you madly, sadly as I tie my shoes
I love you badly, just in time, at times, I guess
Because of you I need to rest, oh yes
Because it's you that sets the test

So much has gone and little is new
And as the sunrise stream
Flickers on me,
My friends talk
Of glory, untold dream, where all is God and God is just a word

"We had a friend, a talking man
Who spoke of many powers that he had
Not of the best of men, but Ours
We used him
We let him use his powers
We let him fill Our needs
Now We are strong

And the road is coming to its end
Now the damned have no time to make amends
No purse of token fortune stands in Our way
The silent guns of love will blast the sky

We broke the ruptured structure built of age
Our weapons were the tongues of crying rage
Where money stood
We planted seeds of rebirth
And stabbed the backs of fathers
Sons of dirt

Infiltrated business cesspools
Hating through Our sleeves
Yea, and We slit the Catholic throat
Stoned the poor on slogans such as

'Wish You Could Hear'
'Love Is All We Need'
'Kick Out The Jams'
'Kick Out Your Mother'
'Cut Up Your Friend'
'Screw Up Your Brother or He'll Get You In the End'

And We Know the Flag of Love is from Above
And We Can Force You to Be Free
And We Can Force You to Believe"

And I close my eyes and tighten up my brain
For I once read a book in which the lovers were slain
For they knew not the words of the Free States' refrain
It said:

"I believe in the Power of Good
I Believe in the State of Love
I Will Fight For the Right to be Right
I Will Kill for the Good of the Fight for the Right to be Right"

And I open my eyes to look around
And I see a child laid slain on the ground
As a love machine lumbers through desolation rows
Ploughing down man, woman, listening to its command
But not hearing anymore -
Not hearing anymore
Just the shrieks from the old rich

And I Want to Believe
In the madness that calls 'Now'
And I want to Believe
That a light's shining through
Somehow

And I Want to Believe
And You Want to Believe
And We Want to Believe
And We Want to Live
Oh, We Want to Live

We Want to Live
We Want to Live
We Want to Live
We Want to Live
We Want to Live

I Want to Live
I Want to Live
I Want to Live
I Want to Live
I Want to Live
I Want to Live

Live
Live
Live

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jedicord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-14-05 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. For me it's a cross between Kooks and Young Americans
"Will you live in our lovers story?
If you do you won't be sorry.
'cause we believe in you.
So take a chance on a couple of kooks
we're up for romancing."

Love this line:

"And if your homework gets you down
we'll throw it in the fire and take the car downtown."

Funny, I've called my 11 year old son Kook forever, then dug up Hunky Dory (which I hadn't listened to since he was born) and nearly fell out. And, admittedly, have chunked his homework a few times...
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