I feel like I'm going to hurl

[Not_Giving_Up]

I know it's because I'm a bundle of nerves right now. Man, I hate this!

[redqueen]

1. What's the matter?

Hope it's the good nerves... e.g. the kind you get before you give a speech or sing in public.

:hi:

[Not_Giving_Up]

2. Not good nerves, not at all

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3653663&mesg_id=3653663

[redqueen]

3. DON'T DO IT!

Keep them with you this time unless she agrees to pay, PERIOD!

:scared:

[Not_Giving_Up]

7. Hence the feeling of nausea

GRRR!

[Maddy McCall]

4. No offense, but you need a new therapist.

:shrug:

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. Really, I don't

We started using her for the kids, to help my Aspie kiddo, and my daughter as well. She realizes that the dynamics between LOC and I have an effect on the kids, so she started working with us. She's really good, I have no complaints.

[Missy M]

5. The only way I would let the children go is if the MIL signed a...

document that read, the children will be returned on a specific date, no ifs, ands or buts. Have the document notarized (your bank will do it for free). If she doesn't agree to sign DO NOT let them go. They are your children, not hers. It seems like it is time for you to break from LOC and his mother.

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking

IF I left them go, she can have her medical form when I get my paper stating that she'll return them. Of course, that won't make her return them if she doesn't want to.

[Missy M]

9. But the law will make her return them and if she doesn't then have her...

ass thrown in jail.

[Not_Giving_Up]

10. True

What a fuggin mess!

[Debi]

11. I wouldn't worry about

The form Mother in Law wants - thanks to HIPAA just a typed up form won't work for consent - it has to be a HIPAA approved form.

I think requesting a schedule of where they'll be and when, contact #'s and written notification that the children will be back in your home on specified date will do.

If she tries to keep them remember that preference is with the biological parent (and the LOC who would consent to removal of the children from your home under shady circumstances is not going to look like the Virgin Mary in court).

After reading so many of your posts here, you could do for some time just for yourself.

[Bunny]

12. You seem like a nice person, and you need a lot of support right

now. I hope that you can get that from somewhere.

But I'm going to tell you this much: your children need you to step up and be their mother! You are so concerned about coming across as a "bad mother" that you'll risk letting them go halfway across the country, with a woman who is giving a LOT of creepy signals to you. Because she can afford to take them to nice places? And you can't? Boo hoo hoo.

BULLSHIT!!! Stand up and be their mother! Tell the witch NO, then keep them home with you. Let your husband go with his mommy, maybe he'll hook up with the old flame, and your problems will be solved.

Honestly, protect your children. Keep them from her. I don't care how many "nice" places she can afford to take them to. YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER!! Anyone who treats you, the mother of these children, as badly as she does - does not deserve to take them away. What kind of example is she setting for them? That it's okay for grandma to be rude to mommy, to not take her with us, not give her a place to sleep and food to eat??? Do you see how bizarre this is? She is repeating the same mistakes she made when she raised her own worthless son. Now she's poisoning your babies.

Woman, get a spine! Defend yourself and protect your children! The answer to this is really very clear.

There, I've said my piece. I apologize if this is not very supportive. I can't be all cuddly about stuff like this. Good luck.

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

13. Wow....

Hey, when is the trip supposed to commence?

[Not_Giving_Up]

14. Next week

The plan is for the kids (and I guess now the LOC) to spend the night at her house Wednesday, leave early Thursday morning. If hurricane Emily looks to come here, they may leave earlier.

[Not_Giving_Up]

15. Protecting my children is my number one priority

I just know that instincts have been wrong before, and that I may be blowing this way out of proportion because of the state of the relationship.

[Bunny]

16. From what you've written about your MIL, your instincts are spot

on. Look at what she did - she made room for everyone EXCEPT you. There is no reason to question your instincts - she's made it perfectly clear how she views you.

I sincerely wish you the best, and I'm sorry for being so harsh.

[Not_Giving_Up]

17. No need to apologize

Nothing was said that I didn't need to hear.

I'm going to tell the LOC tonight that either I go, or the kids don't.

[Bunny]

18. That's the ticket! Good for you!

I wish you luck - you are in a tough spot.

[Not_Giving_Up]

21. Yes it is a tough spot

I simply HATE this.

[Karenina]

22. Sometimes ya gotta be the "bad guy."

Letting someone take your children is a matter of SUPREME TRUST. I simply ditto Bunny's response as I would have spent an hour trying to be diplomatic. Your mil has a prior history, has undermined your already troubled marriage and you are under NO obligation to trust her AT ALL.

Even if you go there's little doubt she will make every effort to make the trip a nightmare for you. WHY do you need to subject yourself to such abuse?

Tell her to take HER KID with her. At least you'll get some respite from HIS presence!

[cally]

19. Good

FWIW, I agree with Bunny. Don't let the MIL and LOC take your kids without you. She should pay for you. Why does she need this form if LOC is going? That doesn't make sense. Good luck.

[Not_Giving_Up]

20. She asked for the form before he decided that he was going

(Or at least, before he verbalized the decision to me)

[youthere]

23. NGU-honey I'm sorry

I totally agree with Bunny on this. You gotta' step up. You go with or the kids don't go.
You're letting yourself worry too much about what happens if you're wrong and how you'll look.
Well, I think you'll look like a mom who is protecting her children-and I bet there are more than a few DU'ers who would agree.
How will you look if you let them go and LOC and MIL take off with your kids and you just let them go, despite your reservations?

I would also contact your local police department and fill them in on the situation. They might have some more options for you and personally I would get an emergency custody order just so LOC can't say "fuck you" and take them anyway.