I'm bored - please insult me

[RPM]

hit me with your best shot.

[Sugarcoated]

1. You

cantakerous ulceration you

[RPM]

3. feh?

is that the best you can do?

[Floogeldy]

2. Shame on you!

Shame on you for not pursuing items of interest and allowing yourself to get bored.

Come on! Get into life and enjoy it.

B-)

[RPM]

4. shame on the lounge

pretty slow night

[Sugarcoated]

7. You know what "they" say

People that are bored are usually, you guessed it, boring people

My mom used to say that to me when I would say that as a kid.

[RPM]

9. actually - i am half studying half reading DU

so yes - i am boring

i need you peeps to kick it up a notch, for me - please!

[madeline_con]

15. You asked for it, wanted an insult.....

Republican!

(I'm sorry, but you set yourself up)

[RPM]

18. yeah - but it was worth it to get another look at that fine woman

you have the greatest sig - but you should make the pic bigger.

I really think that pic / scene explains a lot of my preferences as an adult.

[madeline_con]

25. load time...

Some posters have mucho kb's of pics, and one has to be patient just to read their posts.

I could have so much stuff, my posts would take half a page.

[nickgutierrez]

5. Your mother was a hamster...

...and your father smelled of elderberries.

Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time. :)

[RPM]

6. how original

yawn

[Skittles]

8. you want I should kick your ass, RPM?

I'm pretty bored myself

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

10. You.....You....

Dentist!

[RPM]

12. bring it on

[WhollyHeretic]

11. You're only slightly more intelligent than Bush

[RPM]

13. whoa - that hurts

that was over the top :cry:

[punpirate]

19. Hey, could have said you were even less...

... intelligent than Bush. That would have been enough to give anyone the bitter uglies. :P

[CaliforniaPeggy]

14. Good grief, RPM!

How can I possibly insult you when you've disabled your userprofile? Only losers do that!

:yoiks:

[RPM]

17. you did manage to call me loser...

thats a good start.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

21. Thank you, RPM!

I'm not used to insulting people...so it's hard for me! I'd much rather be nice...

I try to live by my sig line...

[RPM]

22. i prefer my 7th grade algebra teacher's line

"it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice"

[norml]

16. Your words are empty hollow bleatings of a mental crutch.

They're open festered indigestion
With a velvet touch
An ether eating Eskimo
Would gag upon your sight,
Convulsed into oblivion
from laughter or from fright.

A coma with a sweet aroma
Is your only dream,
Malignant with the
misconception
That a grunt can gleam.
Your lichen covered corpuscles
Are filthy as a fist.
Infection is your finest flower
Mildewed in the mist.

[RPM]

20. thank you

i prefer to be insulted in verse - how did you know?

[RPM]

23. is that all?

c'mon!

[Crazy Guggenheim]

24. Go back over ot Freeper. Jackass.

[RPM]

27. nice!

thats soem good insulting!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

28. You can't even pass the Turks & Caicos bar exam, much less Pennsylvania

:evilgrin:

(goes for me in Texas, most definitely!)

[RPM]

29. speaking of - here's a hypo to practice on

If the officer in the fact pattern below was cleared of wrongdoping, what would be the reason:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3669635

[Lucky Luciano]

26. Why would I even consider wasting my time

seriously responding to a jackass like this???

sheesh...

[Pryderi]

30. An old usenet flame

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are
pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't
pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A
sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with
you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are
degenerate,noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I
despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit
protohominid chromosomally aberrent caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic
pond scum, and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little
worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad,
a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared
richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth
into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody,
abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and
then killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same
species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very
thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You
are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the
dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating
one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to
impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop
will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it
more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive
its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to
fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink
shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea
of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are
unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important
statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do
you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have
more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a
circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a
disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper.
You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of
all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard
stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond
the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You
are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far
that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no
intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on
Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire
galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a
troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is
some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure
essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond
the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is
an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me
again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your
ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

the only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped
away most of your of whay you wrote, because, well... it didn't really
say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was
pitiful.
I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of
babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have
learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people
take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we
sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find
these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I
would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right".
Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck
in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a
demand on you. "

[RPM]

32. brevity, my dear

brevity

[ghostsofgiants]

31. I mock your value system.

You also appear foolish to the eyes of others. Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other.

[RPM]

34. extra starch

very stiff

[DS1]

33. Users with 3 digit monikers are so incredibly lame

:eyes:

[RPM]

35. hello, my name is kettle

you must be pot! Did you notice that we are both black!
:hi:

[DS1]

37. I live in a world without prejudice, my Kettle

:-)

[Mizmoon]

36. The Jerk Store called and they're running out of you!

:)

[RPM]

38. a true classic insult!

:toast:

[ghostsofgiants]

44. Yeah...

Well you're their all-time best seller!

[RPM]

46. oh yeah

well, i slept with your wife!

[ghostsofgiants]

49. Uh...

My wife is in a coma.

[Champ]

39. I'd love to ask you how old you are

but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

[RPM]

42. i am this many years old

(holding up my middle finger) :evilgrin:

[Champ]

48. Y'know if I told you that I had a piece of dirt in my eye

would you move?

[dhinojosa]

40. You, REPUBLICAN! nt

[RPM]

43. thats just harsh

please stop :cry:

[RedCloud]

41. If we could switch places, you would know what a drag it is to see you..

Stolen from Robert Zimmerman.

[RPM]

45. Robert Zimmerman

hmmmm - didnt he run a dry goods store in Duluth?

[RPM]

47. NOTE TO ALL - I am no longer bored - Need for insults has diminished

thanks you - please move along...

[In_The_Wind]

50. good ~ cause I really have a difficult time offering insults

I really never mean to hurt or insult anyone at DU.

[donheld]

51. smegma lover

You know you are.