My submission for the Darwin Award

[Writer]

Mr. Writer and I snuggled on the back porch, feeling the breeze of an oncoming thunderstorm. The wind blew heavily. Trees bent in submission. We shut our eyes and enjoyed the ambience.

A sliding glass door opened. Our peace disturbed, our eyelids fluttered open to spot our neighbor crossing his yard, a can of spray in his hand.

He approached a rickety shed in his backyard. Curious, our eyes followed his motion, wondering and waiting.

And still the wind blew.

Our neighbor grabbed the shed door, and with a jerk, threw it open, stepping back immediately. The wind caught the door and compounded his pull, thrashing against one side of the shed. He seemed bothered by something. We assumed wasps.

Grabbing his can of spray, he held it upright and squirted. The wind captured the liquid and delivered it away from our neighbor's intended destination, away from the shed, carrying it instead into his EYE.

The fool stepped back, grabbing his face. He winced and his balance faltered. Staggering he ambled back toward the sliding glass door.

Mr. Writer sat, worrying for a few moments about the general state of humanity. We then closed our eyes as the water fell from the clouds above.

The End.

[progressoid]

1. Snrxx.

Gotta love a summer rain! :)

[nickgutierrez]

2. Not quite Darwin-worthy

But still... :rofl:

(To be Darwin Award-worthy, he has to either die or lose the physical ability to reproduce, neither of which seems to have happened here. But I'm sure you knew that. :) )

[Writer]

3. But how is he going to attract the babes with a mangled eye?

Wasp spray isn't child's play, you know? I'm sure it's stifled his mate-hunting ability somewhat... I'm sure! ;) ;) ;)

[nickgutierrez]

4. If Michael Jackson can have kids...

...well, I'm sure you can finish that.

[Writer]

5. The problem with Michael Jackson is that he opened his mouth

and INGESTED an entire can of wasp spray. Hence the skin color change, odd addiction to plastic surgery, and fascination with young male flesh.