Thanks for the reminder of why I stay single

[johnnie]

After all these "nice guy" threads, I am reminded why I remain single and don't "search for love". There are just too many damn rules in the romance department.
I'm confused through life as it is, let alone adding the need to find me that special someone. I remember when two people were attracted to each other because each person was who they were. I am seeing that now there are certain ways to be before anyone will even talk to you, let alone like you.
Single life is so much easier.
:)

[Susang]

1. Don't take it so seriously

There are no rules in the "romance department". I met my husband by doing everything you're not supposed to. I met him in a bar. I gave him a ride home. He was one of my customers (I worked there). We've been together over ten years. Fuck rules, they don't exist.

[johnnie]

5. That's what I say "fuck rules"

I have so many people telling me that I need to do this and do that if I want to ever "hook up" with someone. I guess they don't understand that I am who I am and have been for 40 years. My friends are much more concerned about my "relationships" than I am. Maybe to some it's a case of "misery loves company"..lol.

[Susang]

7. You gotta block their voices out

I've noticed that the only time people seem to find great relationships is when they stop looking and just live their lives the way they want to. For some reason, that seems to be the hardest thing in the world to do. It was definitely hard for me to master.

[jobycom]

2. It's still that way--all these people playing these games

will wind up single again soon. The only real rule to romance is being yourself, and letting your partner be herself/himself. Those who base relationships on complex expectations will always be disappointed.

Romance means discovering the person you are with, not turning them into someone you wish they were.

[johnnie]

6. Yeah, I agree

The best part of finding someone new is the time spent discovering who your new special person is and what's inside. I have seen too many people force a relationship based on what they expect in someone, and most of them are paying for it now in a lot of ways.

[Trigger Hippie]

3. Rules, no rules...

It's all too damned confusing for me. I don't look for romance at all either. It's been so long for me, I don't even remember what I like in a man. :silly:

[johnnie]

14. You'll remember what you like

When you meet him.

[southlandshari]

4. It's been too long

since I gave you one of these:

:hug:

And listen to jobycom, he gives excellent advice above!

[johnnie]

8. Well thank you

Was that hug for me? That was nice.
I hope I didn't come off as sad, I'm fine really.

[southlandshari]

9. Yes, it was for you

And not because I thought you were sad - but because I wanted to sneak it in before some smart single DUer finally claims you for their own and might not like you hugging others so much!

Anyone who likes true crime stories and who shows interest in my long posts about my grandaddy and Hank Williams, Sr., can have a hug from me any day of the week!

Have another, I'm in a hugging mood today!

:hug:

[johnnie]

12. Oh, well thank you again :)

And here is one for you.
:hug:

[Lady Effingbroke]

10. Hi, johnnie.

I feel the same as you do. I have reached a point in my life where I am content being single. If I "find that special guy", then, terrific, but if I don't, oh well, life is good as it is already.

I just live my life and don't worry about it.

[johnnie]

13. Hi back

Too many people worry too much about "finding love". It can be depressing and take up a lot of time and energy that they won't ever get back.
I guess we are sort of programmed to think that if you don't have a special person in your life, you aren't "normal". It's sad to see someone spending so much time on obsessing over relationships. I say "just let it ride" and it will land somewhere.

[Catfight]

11. I like this thread. I've just reserved myself this last week to be

single and just go with it. I've always relied on someone else to make me feel good, now I rely on me to do that. That way they can't make me feel bad either. It's a much better thing for me, I've just allowed myself to be involved with people that I just don't mesh with but try to make it fit. Relationships just haven't been that fun for me, they've been more miserable than fun.

[johnnie]

16. That's the thing

I know it is a cliche', but no one will make a person happy if they aren't happy with who they are in the first place.

[tigereye]

29. exactly!

Someone else can help you to enjoy what you already are.

:thumbsup: :hi:

[leftofthedial]

15. Uh oh.

you just broke the first rule: never tell "them" what your agenda is.

Now none of "them" will be nice to you.

Rules are there for a reason citizen.

[johnnie]

23. "They" already know

"They" put wires in my brain. :tinfoilhat:

[leftofthedial]

26. at least you have "us"

to rely on.

[cheeseit]

17. Aint that the truth...

:thumbsup:

[kick-ass-bob]

18. Being yourself has nothing to do with staying single

Just be yourself, and maybe someone else will be themselves around you and something may happen.

Or it may not. Whichever it is, doesn't matter. But as long as you stay who you are and true to yourself and your feelings, then you will be happy.

That is something many people get wrong - they say "I need this" or "I need that" to be happy.

WRONG.

You have to be happy from within, not when something external happens to you.

[johnnie]

25. Yup

You got it all right. "I need this" or "I need that"... I don't know how many of those I have heard.

[RPM]

19. That's what I did

and then a kind wonderful woman founde me and we are now married.

that's what i get for playing darts and drinking 4 nights a week at a bar in hells kitchen.

[johnnie]

22. That's cool

Maybe I should take up darts again.

[giant_robot]

20. Careful!

About I year ago I told myself, "Fuck it. I'm sick of enduring awkward dates to 'see how things go' or 'see how we hit it off'. The next person I go on a date with will be somebody whom I genuinely like and want to spend time with. Until then, I'll be the happiest single person I can be."

One year later, and I'm six months into a serious relationship. Watch out! Cupid's a sneaky little bastard!

[johnnie]

21. Ehhh

I said "fuck it" about 5 years ago...lol. I have gone out, but that's been about it.

[I Know How To Do it]

24. If someone decides to relegate themselves to being, "just who they are"

and still nothing happens in the relationship department, maybe it's time for an out of the body experience to look at, "just who you are."

This isn't directed specifically at you, but to people in general.

[johnnie]

27. Good point

Especially if the person is out there trying to find it.

[realms]

28. Lost love

You'll like this: imagine hearing a phone call. From the one who died with you in your eyes. (love at first sight)

And my proposal thusly: "If you get me, I'll try to make it easy for you" Woman don't like that. Tell them I'm sure...I'm sure...I'm sure...I'm sure...I'm sure...I'm sure...

[CanuckAmok]

30. It that why?

I stay single because I prefer porn, and drinking alone.

[Democracy White]

31. Isn't being single so wonderful?

No psychodrama to deal with.

Dee