If I can find romantic partners, anyone can!

[AlienGirl]

Let me start by saying, I am a very strange person. I am not good-looking, I am moderately socially impaired, I'm a depressive, I have health problems, I have kids, I have unusual interests and obsessions that I like to talk about while paying no attention to ordinary interests like sports and celebrities, and certain other of my needs are, um, not quite mainstream.

Yet, I have been able to find romantic partners. If I can do it, anyone can. Here's how:

Find something that really interests you. Computers or politics or comic books or entomology or whatever. Get involved with a group that does stuff in that field. Make friends with a bunch of people with the same interest. Eventually, someone of the gender that interests you will become a close friend, and based on that friendship, with respect for each other as people (rather than simply viewing each other as "someone I want to bang), you will become emotionally and then physically intimate.

If it worked for me, it can work for anybody.

Tucker

[mdmc]

1. your female right?

I think that you offer good advise regarding finding someone. If it (doing the things that you love to do) doesn't lead to romance, at least you were involved with activities that you enjoy.

Peace!

[AlienGirl]

2. Yes, I'm female

But I think this advice applies to anyone regardless of sex and gender. The best way to find a relationship is by finding a person you can love based on who they are.

And it's just as hard for an unattractive woman to get dates as it is for a man.

Tucker

[mdmc]

7. really?

And it's just as hard for an unattractive woman to get dates as it is for a man.

[SmokingJacket]

3. You sound like me...

I was such a weirdo growing up (and still am), I thought I'd be alone my whole life. I never worried about finding romantic partners, because I thought it would never happen. So I just went about my life. Lo and behold, maybe because of my lack of desperation and not trying, relationships are one thing in my life that's never been a problem.

But you're right: finding a group of people who share your interests and outlook is the key.

[sui generis]

4. You don't stomp baby ducks or anything do you?

hmmmmmmm . . . other needs, mild social impairment. Belongs to baby duck stomping club.

I dunno, could be an interesting relationship. . .

:evilgrin:

just funnin' - :hi:

I have some wonderful friends who are eccentric even by "out of the mainstream" standards and proud of it, and I love them dearly. Not impaired baby duck stompers }( but you're right - what you do matters a lot. If you're doing what you like, it's a pretty good chance you'll be around people you like (if it involves social stuff).

Here's a great test: what if you were blind? what would you think of the people around you in your every day path? All of a sudden, surface things matter a whole lot less when you stop looking at people with your eyes.

But just dropping out of the world doesn't do a lot for your date book. Everybody got some strange going on whether they believe it or not. What's your superpower?

[AlienGirl]

6. LOL--no, I don't do anything kinky with animals!

Everything I like is safe, sane (well, maybe a little nutty), and consensual...

Tucker

[UncleSepp]

5. Good advice!

Be who you are and do what you do. Make friends. One may be that friend that becomes a girlfriend or boyfriend, and maybe eventually a partner. Take the risk of letting people know who you are. Take the risk of saying how you feel, even when it means you are taking the risk of being rejected. It's pretty simple, but that's what works.