Here's something I've learned about the whole "problem with men" deal...

[WindRavenX]

...Most men who complain about about not finding a girl because the girls, apparently inherently, like 'bad boys' over 'nice boys', are not men at all; but are boys.
Conversely, most women who complain about not finding a boy because the boys, apparently inherently, like 'dumb girls' over 'smart boys', are not women at all; but are girls.

Real women like real men.
Real men like real women.

It's not a gender thing, but a MATURITY THING.

For example, the guys that have problems with me being a loud, fiesty feminist are BOYS (like one of my ex boyfriends)- they are NOT men.

Now back to your flame wars =)

[Hobarticus]

1. Your words carry thunder, and you fly a Yankee flag...

You are wise.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

2. I do agree with you. Some of it is a maturity problem.

[satireV]

3. Wow the misandrists are out in full force today

:sarcasm:

[progmom]

9. hi

is this funny to anyone but you?

[satireV]

27. About 20 years ago,

My family was killed by a drunk driver. I let the perp control my emotions and gave into anger. After about a year, I figured out he didn't even know me or care about me or how a felt. And I was relinguishing all my power to him. I then forgave him, and didn't tell him. I became at peace.

I learned how to not let others control my emotions and thus give up all my power.

Perhaps when you understand the poster who posted a silly poll doesn't know or care about your feelings, your anger will dissipate.

My sarcastic misandrist post was meant as an object lesson to illustrate this. But apparently it also made you angry even though I don't know you or care about your feelings. If that is so, I apologize.

Warmth,

[progmom]

29. no anger here - just looking for clarification on your meaning

your post didn't upset me. just confused me.

i am sorry for your loss.

[Misunderestimator]

26. Is that the word of the day on your little desk calendar?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3695383#3695784

[Telly Savalas]

4. But I have the emotional maturity of an 8 year old...

and I somehow found a real woman who decided to spend the rest of her life with me. :shrug:

[WindRavenX]

5. by my definition

If you do not have a prob with your wife, then you are not a boy :hi:

[LaurenG]

6. Some very nice men are mature and shy

some very nice woman have been burned, crispy. They just need to find each other.

[GOPisEvil]

10. Your title is very true.

Sometimes being an introvert makes dating difficult.

[RedSpartan]

16. My wife and I did.

And life is beautiful.

[pdx_prog]

7. Basically....

We are all like tuning forks....we put out a certain frequency, and that is what we attract....it's universal law....we get back what we put out...

Look at your current partner, then look at your past partners....aren't they all pretty much the same persons?

Face it...it's as good as it gets...lol

[skygazer]

11. Mine aren't anywhere near the same people

My first husband was the epitome of a "nice guy." Really the only reason our marriage didn't work was because we got married so darn young - it wasn't because he was too nice or because I don't like nice guys. As a matter of fact, he and his second wife are two of my best friends.

My second husband was the epitome of the "bad boy." That didn't work either.

I spend 2 year with a guy who was a college grad businessman, serious and rather driven - nothing like hubby #1 who was a high school grad retail drone or #2 who was a low life drug dealer.

Current man of 4 years is a hardworking tradesman (carpenter). He's a great guy but he's not like hubby #1 and he's certainly not a bit like either of the others.

I look at my choices and I've never been locked into any particular type.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

8. doesn't matter anymore

The last one to fry every fiber in me, has such issues that her brother and the father of her child come to the conclusion that her child would be in better custody at foster parents or an orphanage and will do such. Sadly they're right. Not any feeling i can muster will change that reality. so is clamping down on emotions with reason a real painful process but after all freeing.

the point i try to make is that emotions do not allways fall on a reasonable/good choice.

finding a woman (or man) that shares your core values, is emotional stable and you feel you learn something new everyday (even if it "just how much you love him/her and are interested are rare.

those i want(ed) don't want me. that simple. nothing one can do, if the spark doesn't ignite. I'm indifferent to relationships now... too much of a hassle for only beeing ridiculed at the end. Shy love and little nice things with symbolics, a little flirting etc isn't just as in as it was it seems to me. As long deceivers and trophy hunters of either gender are on the strife there will be frustrations.

Friends are the key - whether male or female. No "need" to impress anyone...just beeing reasonable and getting along and help out when someone needs. i miss the hugs and kisses, bathing in each others aura doing plain nothing than just that apart from soft stroking. but hey fulfilled love is something for the others.

to women and men i say it's try and error anyway...good luck. I was outlucked so there should be a chunk out there for someone. don't mess it up.

good night all. may the curse of amourousness never hit me again.


:hurts:

[hickman1937]

12. With respect, you sound young.

Life aint over till the fat lady sings you into the grave.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

20. 26

depending on how long i can contain the tides (next would be 5th) of cancer that day might be nearer than you might think.

Falling in love in a way its so unconditional that you don't feel you have to bond or fuck that person...you just want to see them happy and possibly be part of that in some way averages at once in 3 years (the emotional ignition extremely important to me).

A cancer tide averages at once every 2 years. Make your math.

#1 I'd like to share what i consider to be my last decade and the little stuff one learns to notice and appreciate.

#2 Loneliness leads to depressions...and depressions aren't actually useful in combatting cancer. Has to do with lifewill. It erodes...even if slow it erodes to a point where you ask what purpose it serves still getting radiated and surgered every second year to remove the metastases, considering surrendering to the disease.

#3 Yes i'm young, won't change while i'm alive i guess/feel/fear/hope/don't give a rats ass about anymore.

On the other hand it might just be better saving someone the pain. Dunno. Love or death i'd welcome both. At least death is certain. There lies the salvation from the self-perceived undesirability. In the time between the faint hope to overcome it. No future isn't attractive however you turn it. Not having much to lose means having not much to share. Tough luck.

[hickman1937]

21. Damn. I'm too old to have any wisdom for you.

I just wish that you lived a little closer to me. I hope you have a mom and dad there with you. And friends.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

22. don't getting me wrong

what would it change? family and friends are here in abundance but they can't help me more than to distract from what concerns me. They give me roots but no hope to grow leafs or blossoms.

At the end of the day i'm are alone in the dark feeling like the most dispensable subhuman walking this globe, without anything of interest to anyone to offer.

:cry:

[hickman1937]

24. Then volunteer at a day care center or a soup kitchen.

At the end of the day all we are worth is what we can give. Sorry, my catholic upbringing is showing. But that's it. If you're bed ridden, then try to make the people around you glad to be alive. If you're mobile, help someone. Romantic love isn't the end all and be all of life. Giving is. Try it please, then tell me I'm wrong.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

34. indeed giving is

but i lost love to anything atm. I'll just remain the spectator in the shadow. I'll have to pass my own challenges, quests and tests. If i can muster some sympathy for myself i might project such on others. Way to go til then.

Thanks for the tipp

[Kraklen]

13. Sour grapes.

She won't go out with me? She must be stupid and attracted to the wrong kind of guy.

[redqueen]

14. Well put!

I so love this place. :D

[SOteric]

15. Some real women like real women.

And some real men like real men.

And people everywhere just ought to be more sensitive to one another.

[Skittles]

17. something I've learned

people who say they don't date because they've been "hurt too many times" inevitably date the same kind of assholes over and over - yes, that's true for both women and men. The advice I give those folk is try saying YES to someone to whom you'd normally say NO.

[warrens]

18. That does it

I think, though, that we have a crippled system. Not that they're perfect, but the women I have gone out with lately tend to be Euro. American women my age tend to be kinda, um, suspicious. Or whatever.

I saw the most horrid story today. It was on Nexis, so I forget the paper it was from. A 54 year old nurse met a guy online who was a banker her age and was single, had no kids, etc. So they meet for coffee and he seems cool. And he has a reservation for a really nice restaurant. So they are talking about neither of them have children, art and all this stuff and he gets a cell call. He says something about, well, tell him to get to bed or else. Then he says, well, yeah, I'm married but we got on so well online. Then he says, I have to go to the bathroom, be right back. And disappears. She had to call her brother to pay the bill.

People like that fuck it up for all of us.

[khashka]

19. Agreed

As Tori Amos said : Things are getting desperate when all the boys can't be men.

A strong man needs a strong woman.

Khash.

[DS1]

23. Can I interject for a moment please?

Quote

"Most men who complain about about not finding a girl because the girls, apparently inherently, like 'bad boys' over 'nice boys', are not men at all; but are boys."

Unquote

should be added - are complaining about not finding women. They are complainging about this at home, in front of their computers, typing on the internet, as yet another evening of opportunity of actual social contact slips away.

Case closed.

[WindRavenX]

30. that too

There's a lot of good stuff in the world- but you got to be IN the world to find it, yo :D

[Misunderestimator]

25. Ahem.... I'm a real woman.

:cry:

Edited to clarify...

Real women like real men.
Real men like real women.

AND

Real women like real women.
Real men like real men.

[WindRavenX]

31. yeah, I should've clarified that

However, the bulk of discussion (I say 'discussion' lightly) that has gone on regarding the whole 'men/women are fucked up' topic has dealt with the male/female binary system of sexuality- of course it extends to the GLBTQ community :D
I thought that was implied...but I guess not. My bad!

[Misunderestimator]

33. That is quite true...

we "homos" have evolved beyond blaming an entire gender for our own inadequacies. :D :hi:

(I was attempting to be funny... I didn't really think you were leaving anyone out :blush:)

[leftofthedial]

28. Boy

you know all about men

[WCGreen]

32. That's about it....

I became a lot more sure of myself and could handle rejection the older I got..........

[SarahB]

35. Humans are not simple creatures.

I don't flame. There have been some wonderful men in my life- just not all who could meet my needs. I love my sons. Life is not so simple and easy as "All men are this" and "all women want that". There are layers and individual experiences that play into things. The best thing to do is really get to know yourself and what you want. Then when someone comes into your life that complements you and your needs, you see that, recognize it, and can celebrate that fact together.

[sir_captain]

36. Hey there!

Long time no see :hi:

Nicely put, as a note.