My boyfriend's brother was in a serious accident.

[bigwillq]

It happened late evening last night. He works in construction and him and a co-worker were trying to take down metal pipes/tubes off a truck when the pipes slipped and a few landed on the brother, crushing his legs.

He was taken to a local hospital with serious injuries. He had surgery but one of his legs could not be saved. B/f called me in tears, he was working, I was working. B/f wasn't called until much later in the night but was at his side the whole night after he learned.

Today, brother is improving. He wasn't breathing on his own when he was rushed to the hospital and after the surgery but today his breathing is better.

A few things---Just looking for some advice/info on injuries where a limb must be taken. I know there are tons of people who lose a limb and go on to live healthy, productive lives. I admire those people. Maybe if you could swing me in the direction of a good program to deal with the emotional and physical issues after an accident like this. Also, any recommendations for getting a prosthetic based on maybe your experience or that of a family member.

On a side night, please forgive me when I say this, but this is what I thought about after I learned--but the brother spent almost 2 years in jail for lewd sexual acts against minor girls and all I could think of was this was his payback for harming those girls.

Also, brother is the only family my b/f has here in CT, the rest are in Puerto Rico. I know some may find it difficult to keep a sex offender in their thoughts but if you can, please keep brother in your thoughts. If not, at least send some good vibes my b/f's way-he needs all the strength he can get right now. Needless to say, b/f is devastated.

Thank you.

[flamingyouth]

1. I'm very sorry to hear this.

Sending good vibes to you and your b/f. :hug:

[bigwillq]

6. Thank you!

:hug:

[JohnKleeb]

2. Hope hes ok

Cant offer any advice on lost limbs but hope all is well.

[bigwillq]

7. Thanks Kleeb!

:hi:

[JohnKleeb]

9. NP

anytime.

[knowbody0]

3. what horrible news

his life is changed forever. supporting you b/f is all that you can do. they have come a long way with fake legs etc, and since this happened on the job, chances are he will get state of the art care. peace and love

[bigwillq]

Thanks.

Not sure who is really at fault. B/f really didn't go into much details other than the pipes fell off the truck and his brother was injured.

At the time I talked to my b/f I wasn't really too concerned with how it happened, I just knew it happened and felt I needed to offer support, not just ask questions.:hi:

[HEyHEY]

4. Sorry to hear that Bigwill.

[bertha katzenengel]

5. best wishes for your b/f and his brother

and you. You will be offering a lot of emotional support, so hear me when I say this: you can't give what you don't have. Picture a cup of water. You had a cup of water and someone wants a drink. But the cup is empty. And you keep saying "here, drink some of mine" but you don't have any.

So remember to REPLENISH YOURSELF. Take extra special care of yourself, too, during this time. Do whatever you need to to make sure you're okay emotionally and actually have what you want to give.

/soapbox

(learned from experience)

[bigwillq]

8. Thanks for the advice, Bertha.

Thank you for your support. It means alot.:hug:

[Allenberg]

10. Here's to a speedy and complete recovery.

:hi:

[bigwillq]

13. Thanks!

:hi:

[LeftyMom]

11. I don't have a great deal of advice

but I have a friend who lost his arm in a accident. He's not real talkative, but his girlfriend might be willing to let me pass along her advice or email. She remembers a lot more of his convalescence than he does anyhow, he was in a coma and then medicated to the gills for a long time afterward.

If nothing else, she's a wound care pro anymore and could give some great tips on caring for a healing stump.

BTW, while he's not a complete success story in that he's still on meds and in pain, he's working and that's done a lot to imporve his self-image and attitude. The hardest part was finding an employer that would give him a chance to go back to work, that took forever.

[bigwillq]

15. Any advice/info is appreciated.

I know I could Google but I'm tired and cranky and told me like doing that right now. Looking for personal experience type advice.
Thanks!

I wish your friend the best.

:hi:

[LeftyMom]

27. I'll PM you what I remember offhand (practical advice, some gross)

I was going to post, but I don't want to violate his privacy and there's too high a risk of doing that if I post.

-LM

[bigwillq]

31. Send me a PM when you can

Thanks!:hi:

[LeftyMom]

32. sent nt

[bigwillq]

34. Thanks!

:hug:

[Floogeldy]

12. Of all the horrible things that could happen.

Bless him and your family.

[bigwillq]

16. Thank you.

:hi:

[GOPisEvil]

14. Good luck to your bf's brother as well as his family.

Check into whether the hospital has a social worker(s). They should. They can help with dealing things. Prosthetics have come a long way recently.

[bigwillq]

17. Thanks for the advice.

:hi:

[Benhurst]

18. Sorry I don't have any suggestions to make; but you and yours

are in my thoughts. :grouphug:

[bigwillq]

19. Thanks a bunch!

:hi:

[Ariana Celeste]

20. Thoughts like that can't be helped, hun.

Regardless of his past, he has just gone through something that will change his life forever. He's going to have to learn to live in an entirely new way. My thoughts go out to all three of you.
I hope for a quick recovery, and if you ever need some support, feel free to PM anytime.

[bigwillq]

22. Thanks sweetie!

I really like you and glad we get to chat from time to time!:hug:

[Ariana Celeste]

24. No problem. :)

And same here- seems we are usually on around the same times- ok so I'm on a *lot* but post a lot more at evening/night. :P

:hug: You're so nice. Hope we get to keep chatting often :)

[bigwillq]

25. I usually post late afternoon throught the evening

mostly when I'm at work.:) I love getting paid to DU!

[Wetzelbill]

21. oh man, my condolences

I definitely will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Definitely. I bear no ill will against him for his past. Right now, he's a human being in need, so you all have my prayers for sure.

I have had two friends lose limbs. One was going to go in the military with me and he was messing around on a pump jack and his foot got caught and was ground up into mush. He wears a prosthetic and you would never know from the way he walks or anything. He's fine.

Another friend had a way more serious accident. He was thrown through the windshield of a braking vehicle and hit by a train. He lost both of his legs below the knee. Not even a year later he was placing at the state wrestling tournament and riding bulls on a regular basis. He's lives a full life now.


Ok, I know that both men had a lot of pain for the first month or so, but they adjusted and worked hard to overcome it. The important thing is that you give your BF's brother a lot of love and support. Keep him encouraged and keep him strong. He'll get through therapy fine and live a good life. Sure, it will hurt him physically, he won't be able to do certain things athletically and so forth or work a really physically demanding job, but he can adjust and find other things.

As for your BF, he's hurt and saddened of course. Just love him and treat him well. Support him, and be there for this tough time. Let him know that you may need so support too. It's mutual.

I hope that helps. For the other stuff, it's best to consult with the doctors. I blew my knee out and had to get braces and everything. I was a serious athlete, so I consulted to get something that would help me in that regard. If he's a physical person, consult with the doctor on programs and prosthetics that would allow him to be as physical possible. At any rate, you are all in my thoughts.

[bigwillq]

23. Thanks so much for your advice

and support.

How long where your two friends in therapu for? I'm sure it varies based on the person and the severity of the injury but just looking for a ball-park figure.

:hi:

[Wetzelbill]

26. The one with the two legs lost was maybe

7 months? If that. He was competing at a high athletic level not even 7 months or so after his accident.

He'll be able to adjust physically. It'll take some work, but that shouldn't be a problem. The tough part is mental. He'll need lots of support on that.

[bigwillq]

29. Mental, no doubt, will be tougher

for b/f brother. He has way too much pride and is a mack daddy (that's what gets him in trouble). I hope he surprises me but I think he's going to have a lot of trouble adapting to the mental aspect of this situation.

[no name no slogan]

28. OMG

best wishes and thoughts/prayers for a speedy recovery for your b/f's bro. And extra special thoughts for your b/f to have the strength to be there for his bro.

:pals: :hug:

[bigwillq]

30. Thank you!

:hug:

[bigwillq]

33. Thanks all!

You guys and gals are the best. Leaving work now and going for a drink!
Not too much though cause I need to be up early in the A.M., I have to go to a funeral!:(
A family friend's hubby died.
What a week!:hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

35. A neurologist friend of mine, Dr VJ Ramachandran created a therapy

for amputees having phantom pain wherein they place their good limb in a box with a mirror which reflects showing the opposite (now amputated) limb...it retrains the brain and can help enormously with the phantom pain.

There are now prosthetics that actually mimic foot and leg function that will get him up and walking again sooner.

The KEY to it is to make sure the stump is properly fitted.

If there is anything I can do informationally, let me know.
Also, if the pipes were not properly stacked, he may have rights BEYOND workers' comp rights. DON'T hesitate in getting him (or having him get) a lawyer.