THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Nov-06-03 09:48 AM
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Poll question: Which Sex Is Really Nastier, Men or Women? |
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About three months into my last relationship I'm sitting in my girlfriends bedroom watching tv with her. She was on her bed, I was on a big, comfy chair next to her bed.
I'm watching attently at what's on tv when all of a sudden this giant "FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP" sound bursts through the room like the opening drum solo of Led Zeppelin's "Rock n' Roll."
I look over at my girlfriend, shocked, and she just smiles at me like a mongoloid baby who just pooped his diapers.
I didn't know what to say, so I just went: "Did you just...fart?"
'Uh....yeah.'
"What the hell, I've been holding it in for three months and you just let one rip without consulting me first?"
'I didn't know I my gas required a consultation.'
"Yeah, well, I guess it doesn't, but you could have told me that you fart, then I would have farted earlier."
'You didn't realize I could fart?'
"Well, I kinda knew you could, but you never did before."
'There's a lot I've never done with you around before.'
Then over the course of the next several months she proceeded to demonstrate to me exactly how crude and disgusting women can really be when they've really gotten to know a guy.
There were belches that seemed to span time zones. There were farts that burned holes in the bed covers. And don't even get me started on the smell that came out of the bathroom after she was done. Her favorite expression upon exiting the camode was "Ahhh, I feel 10 lbs lighter."
Of course, I didn't mind this behavior because I'm just as sick as she is. But it kinda totally destroyed my notion that women were these delicate little things that floated on air and acted dainty and girly at all times.
So now that we know that women are just as nasty as men, the final question is - which is the nastier sex? Men or Women.
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grannylib
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Thu Nov-06-03 09:53 AM
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1. It's a compliment, MagicRat...she is comfortable with you... |
THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Nov-06-03 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
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she was comfortable with me. And I was comfortable with her. Unfortunately, like most relationships, it didn't last more than two years.
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grannylib
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:29 AM
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9. oops sorry, missed that.... |
PDittie
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:04 AM
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3. Are you sure she was a woman? |
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I mean, not like the, you know, obvious differences.
In other words, could she have been born a man?
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THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
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She was all woman. 100% - she even had one boob bigger than the other, so I know she was legit.
:)
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nannygoat
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:15 AM
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5. First off, I want to know if this was the blonde repuke |
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that had you all hot and bothered. If so, that would explain a lot...
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THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
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This was my blonde-haired, blue-eyes, 6'1" German goddess of an ex-girlfriend. Who was also very liberal and kept a Hillary Clinton bumpersticker on the outside of her dorm room.
:)
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hussar
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:19 AM
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7. I actually think women fart more than men |
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I kow is a natural bodily function but I do try to be somewhat discreet but sheesh some women seem to take pride in the intensity and volume etc.
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THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:20 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
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I could never compete with her. She had some sort of skills when it came to breaking wind.
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tnlefty
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Thu Nov-06-03 10:32 AM
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10. What is it with males? I'm outnumbered and there's no way in hell that |
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I could even try to compete!!! This is what I've heard from the 4 males that I live with lately:
from the phone commercial - Can you hear me now? Ok, good. Can you smell me now?
My 10 yr. old makes a gesture and a sound like he's cocking his ass. The 8yr. old - Wait I gotta get in the wooden chair in the kitchen. I don't want to waste this one.
The 13 yr. old "Faltering feminine flatulence...there's no way you can compete with us!!!"
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NightTrain
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Thu Nov-06-03 11:17 AM
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11. I voted for men because... |
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...it's not women who've been going all over the world for millennia, occupying other nations and stealing their natural resources. Compared to that, manipulating a man's emotions for one's own amusement is a minor transgression.
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THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Nov-06-03 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
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I'm talking about farting, not world conquest and emotional manipulation.
Jeez, that was sooooo yesterday.
:)
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PVnRT
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Thu Nov-06-03 11:35 AM
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13. During my bathroom-cleaning days |
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in the food service and hardware warehouse days, the worst messes I saw were in women's bathrooms - including one mess where I threatened to quit if they made me clean it up (I had cleaned the bathrooms for four straight days anyway). And :wtf: is up with squares of toilet paper all over the place on the floor of women's restrooms at the end of the day?
Of course, which nasty are we talking about? Some kinds of nasty are good :evilgrin:
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