What questions are answered in Dianetics? (humor)

[Deep13]

If you watched late-night television in the 1980s, you might remember the ads for L.Ron Hubbard's books Dianetics. Hubbard is the founder of Scientology. The ad showed the book emerging from a cartoon volcano while questions were posed in text along with a page number where the answers can be found.

What questions are answered in Dianetics?

[Ikonoklast]

1. The biggest question of them all.....

...can a failed crappy science fiction writer fool enough people into buying his self-help drivel and get rich in the process?

[Deep13]

2. um, ...yup.

:shrug:

[Jokerman]

3. "Hookin' up words and phrases and clauses"...

Oh great, now I'll be singing THAT all day.

[Deep13]

4. Verb! That's what's happening!

:hippie:

[Poll_Blind]

5. LOL! Thanks, loved those choices! (n/t)

PB

[Bossy Monkey]

6. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Nominated nt

[MN ChimpH8R]

7. How can suckers be relieved of their money?

:shrug:

[Deep13]

9. pp. 1 through 835

[no name no slogan]

8. The toilet paper roll: over or under?

:P

[Deep13]

10. I actually thought of that.

There are only ten spaces available for a poll.
:spray:

[Deep13]

11. kick

:kick:

[Deep13]

12. again

:kick:

[Bossy Monkey]

13. Night crew should see this nt

[sendero]

14. Funny stuff, best poll today...

.... too bad there wasn't room for "wipe forward or backwards, and why"?

[hickman1937]

15. He did it on a bet to get out of paying taxes.

There is a true prophshit. Just like those polygamist guys in Texas and Utah that drop 13 and 14 year old boys off in the middle of a world that they have been cut off from, and don't know how to survive in. It's all about money and access to increasing younger women.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Does the Pope shit in the woods?

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Goddam, why don't you pull your head out of your ass?

[NMMNG]

18. Oh stop it- I'm laughing so loud I'm going to wake everybody up!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Paradise]

19. kick. n/t

:rofl:

[El Fuego]

20. I always knew Greg and Marcia were doing it!

[terrya]

21. How to get a beard, page 117

[Deep13]

22. "Did I fire six shots or only five?" p.85

Didn't have room for that.

[HuckleB]

23. Exactly what is growing out of the old gym bag I found in the basement?

Is it conscious? And, if so, should I name it and feed it vitamins every morning?