Quotes and Thoughts to Ponder:

[HawkerHurricane]

The trouble with reality is, there's no background music.

The worst thing about Censorship is ###############.

There is an exception to every rule, except this one.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting

Never hit a man with glasses...Use your fist.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.

I'm heavily Armed, Easily Bored and off my Medication!

I'm lost, but still making pretty good time!

I'm not FOR apathy, and I'm not AGAINST it!

I'm not lost - I'm just locationally challenged.

Mary had a little lamb. The doctor fainted!

Math and Alcohol don't mix. Please don't drive & derive.

Math Problems? Call 1-800-<(10x)(13i)y>-
Me, indecisive? I'm not so sure about that.

"Push to test"-- -- "Release to detonate."

The truth is out there...Anyone know the URL?

Half the people in the world are below average.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

The more you say, the less people remember.

A big enough hammer can usually fix anything.

A cat is above all things, an ingredient of Chop Suey.

A clear conscience is often the sign of a bad memory.

A day without sunshine, is like a night.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Black holes really suck....

Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!

Crime doesn't pay...does that mean my job is a crime?

Don't talk unless you can improve on the silence.

[MaineDem]

1. Cute

Thanks for the chuckles. :)

[areschild]

2. Okay, some more.

Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for a while it isn't so hot.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'

While playing a poker game, if you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is -- it's you.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

There's a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for & why, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre & inexplicable. There's another theory which states this has already happened.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come in sooner."

You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!

[Endangered Specie]

3. Some of mine

Never mispell incompetence. (my favorite)

To err is human, to really screw things up, you need Republicans.

You know you are conservative if you fear what you don't understand. Subsequently, you know you are conservative if you fear a lot.

Why do fat men have better sex? Well, you can't drive stake a with a tack hammer, now can you?

[Endangered Specie]

4. Kick, and more...

I think this is Abraham Lincoln?: It is better to be silent and thought the fool then to speak and remove all doubt. {how true}

MADD: Mathmaticians against drunk deriving.
SADD: Scientists against drunk desecting
GADD: Golfers against drunk driving (think about if you dont get it)

Stop cursing goddamnit!

It has been swohn taht eevn if you mix ltrtes of wdors in a sncneete and keep the frsit and lsat ltetrs in the smae pstooiin, ppeole can siltl raed it, see waht I maen?

Some great marching band slogans:
Sexy Pitches
Kicking Brass
Bad Sax is better then no Sax at all
The lower you go, the harder you blow