Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:00 AM
Original message |
Relationship dating Q: How can you |
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find out if a friend is interested in being anything more than a friend? Do you just flat out ask--would you ever think of me as being anything more than a friend? or is that too forward/putting them on the spot? Do you drop hints..look for hints?
Advice and anecdotes welcome. :)
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Floogeldy
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:01 AM
Response to Original message |
1. Oh, god. What is that horrid smell? |
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Is that GARLIC?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:02 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
3. I knew that was coming! |
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I'm glad we got that out of the way first thing. :blush:
Now, come here. :*
;)
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Floogeldy
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:05 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
leftofthedial
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:02 AM
Response to Original message |
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hint, nudge
contrive conducive situations
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:09 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
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weekend, we went on a trip to visit friends together and shared a hotel room..that's about as much of a contrived conducive situation as I can think of and yet it was platonic as all get-out.
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leftofthedial
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
12. did you do any flirting? |
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we guys are dumb as rocks you know
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:31 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
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My flirting skills are probably not up to par. I giggle alot and that's my version of flirting. :crazy: And that's what's bothering me I guess, I'm thinking if he's the same way then maybe our relationship is at a stalemate simply because of that.
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leftofthedial
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:33 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
14. conducive situation and then tell him howyou feel |
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or you could just rape him
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:37 AM
Response to Reply #14 |
16. Cause *that* wouldn't |
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cause any awkwardness, right?? ;)
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WCGreen
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:52 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
23. Yo mean you didn't jump on him and say |
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Take me I'm yours....
Cause we are dense....
We take hints about as good as Bush takes advice.....
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 02:04 AM
Response to Reply #23 |
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if he were interested wouldn't he throw out some hints of his own? Or maybe that's just not his personality?
It just feels weird that I should have to make an announcement before I receive any vibes, though expecting the guy to make the first move seems to be passe.
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WCGreen
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Mon Aug-01-05 02:11 AM
Response to Reply #28 |
29. Hey, he may not even think about you that waty |
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until you tell him...
Look, I am 47 years old. Had a lot of lovers and a lot of friends...
Maybe if I would have spoken up a little more, I would have had a lot less loves and a lot more friends.....
Don't torture yourself...
Ask, if he says whoooooo. then just say you thought he was sending off vibes and you just wanted to make sure.... ; ) That'll work...
Trust me, we are all clueless when it comes to matters of the heart
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #29 |
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doesn't want to be thought of in that way?
A portion of love is a bit of a selfish-ego boost isn't it? Or is that a completely wrong attitude to have?
I will have to pursue this before I become too cynical. :)
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WCGreen
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Mon Aug-01-05 03:10 AM
Response to Reply #32 |
33. Just say look, I hae been getting this vibe from you that you |
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are interested in me as more than a friend..... If he looks at you as if you are form outspace back off and say maybe you were reading the signs wrong....
You have planted the seed..... Not all seeds grow.. But do something...
Don't sit at home at night and wonder why
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WannaJumpMyScooter
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:05 AM
Response to Original message |
5. Happened to me once.... I tossed her on the kitchen table and |
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we were there for about an hour or so, I guess it was not so subtle, come to think of it.
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
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it hadn't worked out and you still "had" to be around each other..mutual group of friends and stuff. Potentially super-awkward, I admire your riskiness.
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Bucky
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:46 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
20. Or worse yet, what if you had impaled her on the salt shaker? |
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Not just losing the love of your life, but also facing a potentially very awkward police inquiry.
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WCGreen
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:53 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
24. What, did he fall on a knife... |
hfojvt
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:15 AM
Response to Original message |
8. It appears that you are female |
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If this friend is male, and not gay, and you are not extremely unattractive, there is a 99.44% chance that he is interested in more. Also, a previous history of dating a particular gender does not prove orientation.
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
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:thumbsup:
Yep, I am female, my friend is straight, and I'd like to think that I'm marginally attractive. :) Your equation doesn't take into account the competition though--I'm definately not his only female friend and probably not the most attractive.
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hfojvt
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
15. somewhere I have a quote |
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that a man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him, even if she is not the most attractive. Of course, back when I was a college sophomore I did blow off this girl who expressed an interest :banghead: but we were not friends at the time, and she was coy about it rather than direct. That was about a hundred years ago and I was still seven years away from actually asking a woman out, so that was another issue. Even with an invitation I was not ready to jump off the high dive and risk a forty foot belly flop.
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:41 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
18. I think that's probably true with women too-- |
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just plants the idea of possibility in their brain..
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ugarte
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:17 AM
Response to Original message |
9. Have a trusted mutual friend talk to him in a casual setting... |
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...without it being obvious you sent the person.
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WCGreen
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:55 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
26. Send her a note in class and hope it gets intercepted |
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by his friend.....
JUST ASK.....
Life is too short to fuck around....
Your relationship will survive.....
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usedtobesick
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:18 AM
Response to Original message |
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I'm with my GF now because she asked me if there was a chance. Ask but make sure you can live with still being friends if they say no or they're not sure. Make sure they know up front you are ok if they don't feel the same way. Life it too short to miss the chance to be happy.
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Bucky
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
17. Terrible advice! Do NOT take the direct approach |
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Get a friend, a MALE friend, to sound him out. The direct approach can make the friendship damn awkward and can undermine his trust in you if the he's not dating-relationship-inclined. I've had two different girls try the direct approach with me in the past and, try as we both did, the situation stayed very bolloxed up for a very long time. Things remain quite awkward with one of those women to this day.
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 12:49 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
19. I do kind of like the idea of this approach |
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and then I even get nervous about how I would bring it up to the male friend to get him to ask the guy I'm interested in, because it would probably seem totally out of left field.
I am way too reserved.
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Bucky
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:49 AM
Response to Reply #19 |
21. Perhaps. Then there's always the Cyrano complication... |
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What if the guy you get to ask the young hottie turns out to have a secret crush on you? But no risk = no gain. Love is a hunt, a game, a slow exquisite torment. Enjoy it while you're in it.
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:55 AM
Response to Reply #21 |
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the guy I'm thinking of is pretty safe to ask though. He's going through some relationship hurt right now after being dumped by a mutual girl-friend. Maybe I could strike some kind of relationship sounding-out deal with him...nah, that probably wouldn't be right and I sure as hell ain't doing this tomorrow anyways. ;)
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WCGreen
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Mon Aug-01-05 01:51 AM
Response to Original message |
22. Ask, or you shall decieve |
Lydia Leftcoast
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Mon Aug-01-05 02:02 AM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Mon Aug-01-05 02:03 AM by Lydia Leftcoast
If the guy ignores you or otherwise reacts negatively, the answer is "no."
If the flirting "catches," and he starts flirting back, then there's chemistry between you, although he may not know it. That's a start, though.
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Kathleen04
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Mon Aug-01-05 02:13 AM
Response to Reply #27 |
30. Definately need to hone my flirting |
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technique..way too subtle. Though one of my friends who knows I'm interested in this guy figured it out on her own, so *something* has got to be coming across.
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Lydia Leftcoast
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Mon Aug-01-05 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. Oh yes, an observant third party can usually tell |
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